Switching meds now, could use some prayer

[dev553344]

My doctor agreed to switch my meds. I talked to him and I think it was close between just writing another letter to the courts to convince them I am disabled or trying a different medication. He decided to let me try a previous medication again.

My dizzy-hallucinating spells are disabling, traumatic and started around the same time I got on the meds I'm on now. They are a normal symptom of my bipolar schizophrenia and happen when I'm not medicated as well.

I'm trying an older medication again that I was on years ago when I could work. Back then the meds stopped the episodes. It is a sedating med so I convinced my doctor that I could take it at twice the dose I used to when my schizophrenia was new. It shouldn't be too sedating at that dosage.

I feel hope again and like there may be a chance I can work again. But it is a gamble really as to whether or not the episodes will continue on the new meds. If they do continue than I think he might write me another note to the SSI judge for my disability.

Thanks for your prayers and support.

There may be some trouble decreasing the meds and then slowly increasing the next med. So prayers that I don't go completely insane are helpful during this time which is a month or two.

 

[Lambano]

Oh, boy. Praying for you.

 

[Debp]

Praying for you, too.

Hope the new med works well for you.

 

[dev553344]

Praying for you, too.

Hope the new med works well for you.

They have me on a sedating med for the episodes to take as needed. And it works somewhat to diminish the severity of the episode. My main med that is daily is not sedating which is why it may not be working. The new med might have benefits over the old med that way.

I'm already on a lower dose and I feel more excitement about life and have more energy. I will also lose weight. I think I may have been over medicated on the current meds. But it is a full dose for schizophrenia that I was on so not totally sure.

I was on half the dose and had some paranoia. So maybe that is something I will just have to deal with so that I have a better quality of life. Better quality of life is the goal for the doctors. It is to improve the quality of life of the patient by reducing schizophrenic symptoms which can be traumatic in nature.

 

[Ziggy]

These past couple months been a little hard for me. Not just the stress with dad in the hospital,
but that I have to leave the house to go and see him.
I got something about the front door. I just don't want to go through it.
I hate getting the mail which is at the end of the driveway. I feel really uncomfortable outside my home.
Is this some form of paranoia?
I've had it ever since I got off the road trucking in 2015.
I call myself a hermit but is that just a cover for something else?

I don't know. I just go one day at a time and see what happens.
My daughter has anxiety issues with driving. She used to drive everywhere until the early 20's. Could even be around 2015 or so.

I don't understand the mechanisms of schizophrenia Dev. I don't know how it works. All I know is it sounds very uncomfortable and you are in my prayers.
Praying the new meds help you focus and find peace.
Much Love
hugs

 

[Debp]

but that I have to leave the house to go and see him.
I got something about the front door. I just don't want to go through it.
I hate getting the mail which is at the end of the driveway. I feel really uncomfortable outside my home.
Is this some form of paranoia?

It could be Agoraphobia.... meaning "fear of the marketplace."
Some people cannot go outside of their door at all.

I think it can possibly be caused by an overtaxed nervous system. Do you suffer from panic attacks?

 

[dev553344]

These past couple months been a little hard for me. Not just the stress with dad in the hospital,
but that I have to leave the house to go and see him.
I got something about the front door. I just don't want to go through it.
I hate getting the mail which is at the end of the driveway. I feel really uncomfortable outside my home.
Is this some form of paranoia?
I've had it ever since I got off the road trucking in 2015.
I call myself a hermit but is that just a cover for something else?

I don't know. I just go one day at a time and see what happens.
My daughter has anxiety issues with driving. She used to drive everywhere until the early 20's. Could even be around 2015 or so.

I don't understand the mechanisms of schizophrenia Dev. I don't know how it works. All I know is it sounds very uncomfortable and you are in my prayers.
Praying the new meds help you focus and find peace.
Much Love
hugs

Thank you for your prayers. I am praying for you and your father also. And I now you are going thru difficult times. I also don't like to travel because of health problems I have. But during times like what your going thru and myself with the loss of my mother and having to see her in the hospital before she died, I know they are important and I'm sure you are appreciated for your care.

As far as the paranoia question it was explained to me by my doctor this way which helps me deal with it. If I'm experiencing fear, is it a rational or irrational fear? Fear of encountering a bear while being in the woods is a rational fear, while fear of encountering a bear in the city is probably irrational. And it works like that.

Watching too much news can cause me to have fears as well. And I think that is rational, after seeing people get attacked and such. The irrational part is that there are 332 million people living in the USA and the news stories are probably rare occurrences. But I still get a little sketchy from watching the news.

 

[Ziggy]

It could be Agoraphobia.... meaning "fear of the marketplace."
Some people cannot go outside of their door at all.

I think it can possibly be caused by an overtaxed nervous system. Do you suffer from panic attacks?

No. I get frustration attacks where I want to shake sense into people, but not panic.
My nerves been overworked since the day I was born lol, that's why I have coffee for my sedative.
Some people coffee agitates them, I find it calms me and helps me sleep.
Different strokes for different folks I guess.

I've only ever had one anxiety attack that I remember. It was snowing heavy and I couldn't see the road to drive on.
And I got real cold as ice and felt I couldn't breathe, so I pulled over for about a half hour till it passed.
That was a long time ago. Maybe in the 80's or 90's.

Maybe I'm just lazy. Once I'm outside the door it's not so bad. It's walking through it that bothers me.
I look at it and I don't want to open it. I have to push myself to go outside.
When I was a kid I used to runaway from home a lot. I spent weeks living in doorways and under bridges, friends porches.
Not because I felt I had to run away, I just wanted to. And I lived in Boston. I would take the subway train everywhere.

When I went trucking with my husband, getting out of the truck became an issue. If I had to go to the rest area I would hold it as long as I could. Didn't like going into the truckstops or diners to eat, let alone showers and laundry.

Funny how when I was a kid I had no fear, then all of a sudden there was fear everywhere.
Now I don't want to leave the house.
Trucking can overtax your nerves. Dang four wheelers always trying to run you off the road or slamming their brakes in front of you, lol

Maybe I just never fully recovered from 10 years of hell.

Now I'm forced to go out, and I just do it. But I'm real slow taking my time to get there.
If I plan it ahead of time it's not so bad. But if it's a spur of the moment, come on let's go.. then I feel anxious.

Weird.

Hugs

 

[Ziggy]

Thank you for your prayers. I am praying for you and your father also. And I now you are going thru difficult times. I also don't like to travel because of health problems I have. But during times like what your going thru and myself with the loss of my mother and having to see her in the hospital before she died, I know they are important and I'm sure you are appreciated for your care.

As far as the paranoia question it was explained to me by my doctor this way which helps me deal with it. If I'm experiencing fear, is it a rational or irrational fear? Fear of encountering a bear while being in the woods is a rational fear, while fear of encountering a bear in the city is probably irrational. And it works like that.

Watching too much news can cause me to have fears as well. And I think that is rational, after seeing people get attacked and such. The irrational part is that there are 332 million people living in the USA and the news stories are probably rare occurrences. But I still get a little sketchy from watching the news.

Fear of lack of control over something.
I won't drive when it's snowing. I have less control of the car on slippery roads. I won't drive at night, I have less control because I can't see in the dark.
I don't feel I am a control buff, but it's getting to be that way.
When I go to the hospital now, I want to control the outcome and no one is listening to me, so I get really frustrated.

They say Let go and Let God, and I do that with things I have no rational reason I can control.
But driving in the dark and in bad weather conditions I don't believe are irrational fears.
I think it would be folly on my part to expect God to drive the car while I am blind.

But those emotions that rise up in frustration or anger, even if they are somewhat rational, I have to give them over otherwise I find I can't control them.

It's not easy but it's necessary.

I thrive on news. I'm not afraid of it, I'm looking for justice.
When something happens like fires or earthquakes, floods etc. There isn't anything I can do but pray for those effected by it.
I been through hurricanes, tornadoes, sandstorms, blizzards, floods, never an earthquake though, I don't think I'd care for that at all.
But that hurricane Irma in Florida in 2017 brought me to my knees.
It was the meanest nastiest storm I ever seen. Bad enough for me to pack up 10 cats and a dog and my mother-in-law to drive 3 days to Maine.

And now here I am taking care of dad.
So I believe there is a reason and a purpose for everything. And I have to learn to walk on water and have no doubts and lots of faith.

As Forrest Gump would say: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.
And that's the truth. LOL
Hugs

 

[Ziggy]

I'm fairly secluded where I live. My neighbors are quite a distance apart from each other.
I watch the news about people getting broken into in their houses.
So I have decided in my mind, seeing I can hardly walk forget about running, and I don't own a gun or any worthwhile weapon for defence,
My plan is to offer them dinner. Because most times, like wild animals they just looking for something to eat.
Preferably not me. lol

I suppose we don't really know what will happen until it does. And that's where the imagination kicks in and starts thinking up all kinds of fun scenerios. But if I set in my mind a plan of how to handle whatever situation arises ahead of time, then it's not a spur of the moment decision.

Wow, I'm seeing a pattern here.
I guess I don't like surprises.

Hugs

 

[dev553344]

Fear of lack of control over something.
I won't drive when it's snowing. I have less control of the car on slippery roads. I won't drive at night, I have less control because I can't see in the dark.
I don't feel I am a control buff, but it's getting to be that way.
When I go to the hospital now, I want to control the outcome and no one is listening to me, so I get really frustrated.

They say Let go and Let God, and I do that with things I have no rational reason I can control.
But driving in the dark and in bad weather conditions I don't believe are irrational fears.
I think it would be folly on my part to expect God to drive the car while I am blind.

But those emotions that rise up in frustration or anger, even if they are somewhat rational, I have to give them over otherwise I find I can't control them.

It's not easy but it's necessary.

I thrive on news. I'm not afraid of it, I'm looking for justice.
When something happens like fires or earthquakes, floods etc. There isn't anything I can do but pray for those effected by it.
I been through hurricanes, tornadoes, sandstorms, blizzards, floods, never an earthquake though, I don't think I'd care for that at all.
But that hurricane Irma in Florida in 2017 brought me to my knees.
It was the meanest nastiest storm I ever seen. Bad enough for me to pack up 10 cats and a dog and my mother-in-law to drive 3 days to Maine.

And now here I am taking care of dad.
So I believe there is a reason and a purpose for everything. And I have to learn to walk on water and have no doubts and lots of faith.

As Forrest Gump would say: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.
And that's the truth. LOL
Hugs

Yes letting go and letting God is a term people use. But in all reality I think God helps people when they serve him. Which you are doing with your Dad. Sometimes you have to take control, sorry you get frustrated, and it can be frustrating when things aren't going our way. But the squeaky wheel gets the grease as they say. I try to remember that God is slow to anger and meek in spirit and that seems to help somewhat, even though I am quick to get angry and frustrated. Just try to get on disability in my state, it leads to excessive frustration for lack of control and being at the mercy of others. I could end up homeless because of them, and that is a painful and uncomfortable state to be in.

I am also careful driving these days and won't do certain things that I consider too risky. I think we all have to weigh the risks and either do something or not do something. Like the rational fear of being attacked by a bear in the woods, I may still go hiking, but not alone, I will be with other people. And I would not try to take a selfie with the bear I see in the woods either. LOL. Some people do things like that and take risks. And some pay the price.

I nearly fell off a 100 foot cliff twice, do I cliff climb anymore, definitely not. I lived and I consider that God saved me from gambling my life on a few occasions. But eventually in gambling you have to lose.

 

[Debp]

@Ziggy Are you near Presque Isle? I met a gal on another Christian forum many years ago and she lives there. She and I still email each other.

 

[Ziggy]

Presque Island is about 185 miles north of me.

I'm on the coast mid way of the state and they are kind of inland near canada.
But route 1 is a direct route from my location to theirs.
I live in Ellsworth. Not too big and not too small.
About 10 miles from the city proper. I'm on the outskirts
Maine: The way life should be.
I used to live in New Hampshire: Live free or die.
I guess I've come up in the world.
LOL
Hugs

 

[Ziggy]

I was born in Massachusettes: Spirit of America
Moved to New Hampshire : Live Free or Die
Moved to Florida: The Sunshine State
And Now I live in Maine: The way life should be.

LOL

hugs

 

[Taken]

@dev553344 @Ziggy ~

Trying to be gentle but straight forward…
My prayer for you, IS precisely TO you, not God.

By whatever diagnosis, chemical compound meds you are dispensed…the deep rooted common denominator is FEAR. Being a recluse, immobility issues, being blasted into your mind with, tv, news, internet, is precisely intended to promote FEAR…and the Fact is Psychological Fear, instigates Emotional Fear, and instigates Physical ailments…going round about in a spiral circle.

And No Doubt whatsoever, it is really, really hard “without” a mentor, or support group, or motivator to help your turn that negative spiral into a positive uplifting spiral that changes, eliminates the fear and dastardly effects, into a feeling of peace and comfort and enjoying your lives.

Anyone can desire that for you, but no one can do that for you.
My suggestion would be to re-evaluate…
Put away Every tv, radio, news, sound, food, whatever it is that stirs your fear….and start your day…with the Lord…with trusting in Him, with thankfulness for His spirit of peace and your dressing…with the full armor of God…and baby step it. If you sit all day, move about….If it sunny outside…go out the back door and sit…listen, watch nature…get a potted flower…tend it….get a little pet…care for it….keep it bright in your home….look up old friends…family….reminisce of good times….share with your friends on this forum little things in your day that you made happen and were a joy to you. Trust me, we will be happy for you and encouraging your efforts.
Remember wherever you go, whatever you do, the Lord is with you and it is okay to any time talk to Him about any thing.

I love you guys and pray for your “spiral” to be “positive”, uplifting and a blessing unto you, casting your Fears upon Him, and enjoying peace within yourselves.

Glory to God,
Taken

 

[Ziggy]

I been here on the forum since I woke up at 2am this morning.
I will be getting ready to visit dad shortly,, and when I get back I will be back in the forum searching out the wonderful truths and mysteries of God.
Politics has left the building. I have no interest in it at this time. And that's pretty much all I watch anyways, which is nothing but a den of theives and hateful birds fighting amongst themselves and trying to bring us all under their wing.
I watch and am sober, so when these things come to pass I am ready to defend my position in the Lord with the armour of God he has supplied me with.
But right now I have to sit at his feet and listen closely because things are coming to an end very quickly.
Not only in the physical world but the spiritual even more.
Because first God speaks it, sets it in motion by the spirit then is manifested in the flesh.
So the Spirit is far beyond or ahead what we are seeing manifested in the world right now.
Which means the Kingdom of Heaven is closer than we think.
And I don't like surprises..

Hugs

 

[Ziggy]

@dev553344 @Ziggy ~

Trying to be gentle but straight forward…
My prayer for you, IS precisely TO you, not God.

By whatever diagnosis, chemical compound meds you are dispensed…the deep rooted common denominator is FEAR. Being a recluse, immobility issues, being blasted into your mind with, tv, news, internet, is precisely intended to promote FEAR…and the Fact is Psychological Fear, instigates Emotional Fear, and instigates Physical ailments…going round about in a spiral circle.

And No Doubt whatsoever, it is really, really hard “without” a mentor, or support group, or motivator to help your turn that negative spiral into a positive uplifting spiral that changes, eliminates the fear and dastardly effects, into a feeling of peace and comfort and enjoying your lives.

Anyone can desire that for you, but no one can do that for you.
My suggestion would be to re-evaluate…
Put away Every tv, radio, news, sound, food, whatever it is that stirs your fear….and start your day…with the Lord…with trusting in Him, with thankfulness for His spirit of peace and your dressing…with the full armor of God…and baby step it. If you sit all day, move about….If it sunny outside…go out the back door and sit…listen, watch nature…get a potted flower…tend it….get a little pet…care for it….keep it bright in your home….look up old friends…family….reminisce of good times….share with your friends on this forum little things in your day that you made happen and were a joy to you. Trust me, we will be happy for you and encouraging your efforts.
Remember wherever you go, whatever you do, the Lord is with you and it is okay to any time talk to Him about any thing.

I love you guys and pray for your “spiral” to be “positive”, uplifting and a blessing unto you, casting your Fears upon Him, and enjoying peace within yourselves.

Glory to God,
Taken

Hit me with your best shot Taken and don't be shy. I appreciate straight forward conversation.
Every bit of help in the right direction I will always appreciate.
Much Love
Hugs

 

[dev553344]

@dev553344 @Ziggy ~

Trying to be gentle but straight forward…
My prayer for you, IS precisely TO you, not God.

By whatever diagnosis, chemical compound meds you are dispensed…the deep rooted common denominator is FEAR. Being a recluse, immobility issues, being blasted into your mind with, tv, news, internet, is precisely intended to promote FEAR…and the Fact is Psychological Fear, instigates Emotional Fear, and instigates Physical ailments…going round about in a spiral circle.

And No Doubt whatsoever, it is really, really hard “without” a mentor, or support group, or motivator to help your turn that negative spiral into a positive uplifting spiral that changes, eliminates the fear and dastardly effects, into a feeling of peace and comfort and enjoying your lives.

Anyone can desire that for you, but no one can do that for you.
My suggestion would be to re-evaluate…
Put away Every tv, radio, news, sound, food, whatever it is that stirs your fear….and start your day…with the Lord…with trusting in Him, with thankfulness for His spirit of peace and your dressing…with the full armor of God…and baby step it. If you sit all day, move about….If it sunny outside…go out the back door and sit…listen, watch nature…get a potted flower…tend it….get a little pet…care for it….keep it bright in your home….look up old friends…family….reminisce of good times….share with your friends on this forum little things in your day that you made happen and were a joy to you. Trust me, we will be happy for you and encouraging your efforts.
Remember wherever you go, whatever you do, the Lord is with you and it is okay to any time talk to Him about any thing.

I love you guys and pray for your “spiral” to be “positive”, uplifting and a blessing unto you, casting your Fears upon Him, and enjoying peace within yourselves.

Glory to God,
Taken

Thanks Taken, some of the medical problems I have caused some of what I call "mental and emotion conditioning", which happens over time. A few years ago I was afraid to travel and still to this day will not take the bus. That fear has for the most part left and the conditioning is returning to more healthy feelings and thoughts. And I'm speaking about stomach issues here. I was able to figure out the stomach problems were a bacterial overgrowth in my stomach and figured out how to treat it. It was exaggerated by a medicine that I was on that I no longer need.

 

[dev553344]

There are two types of mental illness that doctors know about, one is situational (which I think is being discussed a little here) and the other is clinical. The clinical mental illness they say is caused from a chemical deficiency in the brain or brain damage of some kind. No matter how much counseling or help you get, the clinical mental illness is not going to go away without being fixed, either by the good physician or by earthly physicians. And that is the case for schizophrenics.

I will state this plainly for any readers out there who suffer from mental illness. It is never advisable for a schizophrenic or anyone with a clinical illness to be left untreated by a doctor. It can lead to disastrous consequences. And the only one left to pay the price of making a decision to not be treated is the patient. No one on any forum will take responsibility for what can happen if left untreated.

As far as schizophrenia there is this warning:

"Schizophrenia has been described as the “worst disease” to afflict mankind. It causes psychosis, which is an abnormal state of mind marked by hyperarousal, overactivation of brain circuits, and emotional distress. An untreated episode of psychosis can result in structural brain damage due to neurotoxicity." Is psychosis toxic to the brain?

 

[Cassandra]

It could be Agoraphobia.... meaning "fear of the marketplace."
Some people cannot go outside of their door at all.

I think it can possibly be caused by an overtaxed nervous system. Do you suffer from panic attacks?

I get agoraphobia when i stay in or haven't done something in a while.

If I drive, then I'm scared for awhile.Then if i do it daily, I'm fine. Take me away from it for a bit, and I'm scared again. I get shaky and ultra paranoid.

When i started college, I had to weigh if i was gonna let it get the best of me, or overcome it so I could go. IO chose to overcome, even forced my self when I went to the student lounge, to ask people i did not know if i could sit with them. (I can't believe I did that, but i was never turned down, and made a bunch of friends)