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Good Evening! This just in to the Christianity Board News Desk.
Due to the intrepid public declarations of a handful of believers here at Christianity board (whom we assume heard direct from the throne of God), decrying how the medical and pharmaceutical industries are totally corrupt and in league with the devil, the world governments in an extremely unexpected move of unity to stop the devil form advancing issued the following two orders to go into effect immediately.
1. All medical facilities from hospitals to offices are to close immediately and their staffs released.
2. All drug manufacturers and pharmacies and any store selling prescriptions and OTC medications that are not manufactured direct from natural products are to stop selling them immediately and pull all these drugs off their shelves.
As a result of these bold moves to combat satanic influence in the world, the following results took place here in America and similar results are reported around the world.
1. All medical staff and support staff became unemployed.
2. All Drug manufacturers closed down and laid off all employees.
3. Pharmacies let go of all their pharmacy staffs and because of no drugs to sell, the major drug stores announced the immediate closure of 40% of their stores
4. After 110,000 closures of restaurants during the covid pandemic, because of these closures over 10,000 more restaurants announced closing immediately.
5. As there is no need for state and federal programs like Medicare and Medicaid, all federal and state employees in govt. health care have been terminated and the buildings shut down.
6. With no more health care industry, all health insurers immediately closed down releasing all their employees as well.
7. The paper industry announced layoffs of over 30% of their employees as the health care and related industries were their biggest customers.
8. With vacationing down over 50% cruise lines announced docking half their ships, laying off millions of their workers. also, with the loss of cafeterias and restaurants and 500,000 tons annually of food for cruises, the food service industry announced layoffs of 50% of their staffs.
9. The stock market this week lost 50% of its value! Its about time those fat cats got what they deserve! In related news, due to the massive loss in the stock markets state and cities announced cuts of 30% across the board in their pensions. Early reports indicate close to three milli0on pensioners lost their retirement savings.
10. The housing industry collapsed. Due to the parabolic spike in unemployment, in the next six months close to 10,000,000 people will be evicted or foreclosed. We went from a housing shortage to a massive glut in one fell swoop! Thousands of craftsman have lost their jobs due to the near total halt of home construction.
11. Bankruptcies are skyrocketing, businesses are broke and with 20% of current homeowners now underwater on their mortgages due to the collapse in home prices, banks are in desperate straits!
12. Because of the collapse in the housing market, the major hardware store announced the immediate closure of 35% of their stores.
13. In a ray of good news! Because we have so many less goods needing to be transported, the trucker shortage is over!
14. Finally, public health officials have announced that due to no medications from those Satanic companies and no medical staff from those devils advocates, over 350,000 people are dying daily form the following spikes :
a) diabetics dying form no insulin
b) heart patients passing away
c) bacterial and viral infections are pandemic, influenza ( the flu) is now responsible for 1,000,000 deaths a year alone.
d) diseases once almost extinct have made a massive comeback! Polio, measles, mumps. small px, chicken pox, malaria, yellow fever, sleeping sickness, diphtheria, dysentery, HIV, tetanus.
In closing, all this is due to the temerity of a handful of anonymous Christianity board contributors ( you know who you are) declaring how Satan controlled the medical and pharmaceutical industries
This just in! Another Christianity board member announced ( we assume direct from the throne of God as well), that due to the massive carnage, death, destruction, famine, pestilences and plagues caused by trying to defeat the devil, the Almighty has cancelled the great tribulation. the results of these man made attempts at trying to stop the devil did far more damage than God prophesied would take place in the tribulation!
Good Evening, God Bless, be warm, well fed and healthy.