Once again, we come upon some word that Christians all use, yet their meaning may be different.
A large portion of the disagreements people have are because they think that they are speaking of the same thing, and are frustrated because the other person comes up with a conclusion that just does not make any sense with their definition. One example would be what does a Mormon mean by justification. How would a Roman Catholic see it? In many cases, it "sounds" like you are discussing the same thing, yet you are actually saying something different.
Grace is one of those words that people believe that they have a good grasp of its meaning, yet know very little about it. I know that you are a student of the Bible and like to read. You probably have several Bible Encyclopedias and Dictionaries. Look up "Grace" and may be surprised at how such a central theme to everything in the New Testament gets so little explanation! The ISBE Revised only has about 5 pages dedicated to the subject. It just seems like something so essentially connected to sin and salvation would get more press.
Grace is God's favor; and in most cases it is unmerited favor. The Greek just means "favor" on its own. Grace is God giving us something we do not deserve, contrasted with Mercy, which is God withholding what we deserve. Sometimes the line between the two get convoluted by some.
Here is the kicker... Grace is not a "thing." Many speak of Grace as something that is given or possessed. When we hear of God giving grace, the passage usually tells us what He gives. People view grace as a "gift" in itself, but I believe this is wrong.
This idea of grace being the "gift" is based upon an erroneous interpretation of Ephesians 2:8.
"For by grace are ye saved through faith: and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God."
What is the "gift" in this passage? Some will declare it to be "grace," and not see what "grace" is conveying. The "gift" in the passage here is "salvation," which is applied by "grace" through the condition of "faith."
"For the wages of sin is death: but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ or Lord." (Rom. 6:23). Here we see the "gift" is eternal life- not grace. "But not as the offense, so also is the free gift. For if through the offense of one many be dead, much more the grace of God, and the gift by grace, which is by one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded to many." (Rom. 5:15). The gift is by grace; it is not grace. So, when we speak of "Grace" we should try to determine what "favor" God is conveying to us. What grace/favor is God conveying to us?
One has to be in a "grace" in order to grow in it. As an example: salvation.
When one gets saved, they have received Eternal Life/Salvation. While I believe that God can draw people in stages with "Grace" to see and understand, before He offers the grace of salvation, people do not graduate "into" salvation. Either you are saved, or you are not. The Bible does not present salvation in such a progressive way. Sanctification is the work of God. While there may be progress towards complete sanctification, a process, Scripture speaks of this as a work of God, just like salvation.
Either way, we do not grow into any grace, but from that grace. Growth will not save us, nor purify our hearts. When God conveys that "grace," we can then grow "in" that grace.
Human illustrations are always flawed, but humor the example:
A glass of impure contaminated water can be made progressively less contaminated, yet we do not possess the ability to make it absolutely pure. We are corrupt and impure on our own and cannot grow it into pure water in and of ourselves. God must do it.
Once God has made this glass of pure water, you cannot make it more pure, but you can increase the capacity of the container as more pure water is available.
We cannot consider grace to be a thing, or an entity which could be given as a gift. Many have confused the vehicle of blessings for the blessing itself.