- Jan 26, 2017
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Couldn't decide where to put this but since I need prayers...
Next week I go back to the doctor to set up an MRI of my brain. It is a follow up from three years ago when a scan showed at least seven lesions. This scan will show the doctors if the lesions have worsened and, or, are still active. This is a good thing since now they can compare the scans to see what is going on. MS, Lupus, something else...the doctor's are undecided on which autoimmune it is that is causing my body to attack itself. When I first found out, honestly, I ran toward God for healing. Everything in beginning, the relationship formed with Him...was to get what I wanted which was health. Somewhere along the way God showed me I had way more issues needing to be fixed, than a few lesions. Somewhere along the way God showed that the kind of healing I needed went far deeper than the physical.
The past couple of weeks have been difficult. I can't feel the lesions but I can tell when something is going on because the rest of my body responds, usually fatigue. The first time I noticed something was wrong was when I forgot how to drive to my in-laws home which is only ten minutes from my home. A place I had gone countless times. I would lay in bed at night and attempt to "mentally" drive to places I had driven to all my life. Familiar routes that I just couldn't remember how to get there no matter how hard I tried. So I am asking for prayer but I am okay if this is a weakness that needs to continue and is needed.
The other reason for this post is also for insight others may have to help put this illness into perspective. It is said that a heart can break. It is also said a broken heart can heal. But the beating organ inside of our body is not ever literally broken. So, what is broken? The word says, "be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
I believe it. I have seen the transformation. 1 Peter 1:13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
Ultimately, by the Word and of a gift from God; my mind is in an ongoing transformation. But the lesions are still there. If my mind(brain) is being healed then you would think that would include the lesions but that is not the case. I was talking to my husband about it yesterday and he brought up a good point. He said, "Your 'brain' is an physical organ that is aging. That is not the 'mind'."
What is the mind? When they say my brain carries a disease, yet the mind is transformed by the word...they are not the same, are they? Same as healing a broken heart, has nothing to do with an aging organ. What does God mean when He says He will give you a new heart(mind)?
Any insight would be appreciated.
Next week I go back to the doctor to set up an MRI of my brain. It is a follow up from three years ago when a scan showed at least seven lesions. This scan will show the doctors if the lesions have worsened and, or, are still active. This is a good thing since now they can compare the scans to see what is going on. MS, Lupus, something else...the doctor's are undecided on which autoimmune it is that is causing my body to attack itself. When I first found out, honestly, I ran toward God for healing. Everything in beginning, the relationship formed with Him...was to get what I wanted which was health. Somewhere along the way God showed me I had way more issues needing to be fixed, than a few lesions. Somewhere along the way God showed that the kind of healing I needed went far deeper than the physical.
The past couple of weeks have been difficult. I can't feel the lesions but I can tell when something is going on because the rest of my body responds, usually fatigue. The first time I noticed something was wrong was when I forgot how to drive to my in-laws home which is only ten minutes from my home. A place I had gone countless times. I would lay in bed at night and attempt to "mentally" drive to places I had driven to all my life. Familiar routes that I just couldn't remember how to get there no matter how hard I tried. So I am asking for prayer but I am okay if this is a weakness that needs to continue and is needed.
The other reason for this post is also for insight others may have to help put this illness into perspective. It is said that a heart can break. It is also said a broken heart can heal. But the beating organ inside of our body is not ever literally broken. So, what is broken? The word says, "be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
I believe it. I have seen the transformation. 1 Peter 1:13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
Ultimately, by the Word and of a gift from God; my mind is in an ongoing transformation. But the lesions are still there. If my mind(brain) is being healed then you would think that would include the lesions but that is not the case. I was talking to my husband about it yesterday and he brought up a good point. He said, "Your 'brain' is an physical organ that is aging. That is not the 'mind'."
What is the mind? When they say my brain carries a disease, yet the mind is transformed by the word...they are not the same, are they? Same as healing a broken heart, has nothing to do with an aging organ. What does God mean when He says He will give you a new heart(mind)?
Any insight would be appreciated.