It's often part of one's programming, which is further complicated by dissociation.
Understanding MPD/DID & SRA/MK
- Thread starter TLHKAJ
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lilygrace
Well-Known Member
i heard a lot of stuff last night since i left my window open...dogs barking. (almost forgot how to spell that. in the past couple years cant spell as well?)
its a full moon tonight....or almost?
and also he said earlier he saw a space alien just walk through the house. i saw no one. he kept repeating it to me
im very tired. tired to do things i actually like to do
its a full moon tonight....or almost?
and also he said earlier he saw a space alien just walk through the house. i saw no one. he kept repeating it to me
im very tired. tired to do things i actually like to do
It's looking really bright here tonight, but full moon isn't until March 18th. The website I looked at says it will appear pretty full the day before and after. My dogs always bark like crazy around ritual nights bc they can sense the activity.
The issue with spelling sounds to me like you have alters close by who are young. Does it seem that way to you? Maybe some switching?
Before September of 2008, I wasn't the person who held the front. I was part of a multi-membered front presenter system. I always stayed back at least a few steps. But I was like the "core" of the front system. Over a period of months, I was moved out front, and the front system merged.
All that to say ...I can look back and see that there were parts who were out at times who spelled things incorrectly because some parts of my front system were "younger" than the body. And when I was first out front, I perceived my age to be around 10-ish although I knew I was a grown woman. It is only in recent years that I perceive my age to be closer to the actual age of the body.
Anyway, Idk if any if that is helpful.
Was it your dad who said those things about an alien being in the house?
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lilygrace
Well-Known Member
yes. it was.....
i tend to more withhold details of the who it is on here but..... no one really knows who ia m but still
but yes....
its just easier to say he....
If you're uncomfortable with talking about those things on here, I totally understand that. You can always message me if you want to discuss those things.
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
yesterday she called me what he calls me....and told me to give her huggy. she asked if she sounds like him as if she wanted to
she was being very jokey
i asked her if she was high and she said she had the joy of the lord.
she was being very jokey
i asked her if she was high and she said she had the joy of the lord.
Whatever she was on it isn't of the Lord!! That's gaslighting and perversion. I'm glad you asked her if she was high.
Sis, today/tonight ks a ritual date. I'm not surprised "she" is exhibiting these perverted behaviors. Please take safety precautions tonight and over the next few nights, as we are also coming upon spring equinox.
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
i had a reason for posting this
this was a series mom wanted to watch with us.
it shows the girl being involved in sexual things with boys. she goes along with the lie with her motehr that the boys forced when when they didnt. she becomes a prostitute. she kills her parents. which reminds me of antoher think. when i would have nervous breakdowns i was called lizzie borden and mom said to dad that i would kill them one day.
i regret watching this because she called me the name of the woman. she said she was joking but there is a grain of truth in how she feels about me in every joke and lie.
i have treated her to concerts and stuff. does it look like i would kill them?
I agree. This is another example of gaslighting and trying to impose an identity on you that isn't yours.
Thank you for explaining about the movie. I've never watched it.
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
I don't think it's worth watching. I don't see much of it being fruitful.
From your description, I certainly agree. I'll take your word for it. I rarely watch movies.
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
Survivor testimony
I'm sharing this because I think some survivors may relate to another survivor's experience.
I have chatted with the channel owner and have found (by her admission) that she has not acquired full deprogramming. But she posts a lot of interviews of survivors on her channel.
I'm sharing this because I think some survivors may relate to another survivor's experience.
I have chatted with the channel owner and have found (by her admission) that she has not acquired full deprogramming. But she posts a lot of interviews of survivors on her channel.
Shattered
Well-Known Member
I'm back, at least for the time being. It's good to see that @TLHKAJ and @lilygrace are still active in this thread. I pray that @Jostler is doing well. I've been in a silent place for a very long time.
Shattered
Well-Known Member
The Lord bless you for sharing this. I wonder how many of us can claim that we have fully overcome programming?
I can't for while the Lord has accomplished so much in that silent place, sending me to a psychologist for the express purpose of identifying (and overcoming) self-destructive routines, I am still subject to that influence. Merging with alters is one thing but coping with programming is another. I've learned that whenever I hate myself to the point of wanting to shed my own blood, that is the work of programming. But it's complicated...
Because some of that is who I am. I was never afraid of throwing myself at certain death. This is why the Lord sent me to protect someone, because this is how He made me and is His intention for me. It's complicated because self-hatred is not from Him and doesn't spring from courage. It's how programming warps courage to serve the end of self-destruction. We who are accustomed to death, having faced it and also witnessed it in this life, lose our fear of death which is good.
But hating ourselves as a profane thing? That is not from God.
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Shattered
Well-Known Member
I'll write a report so those who are interested will know what's been going on during my lengthy break from the forum.
I have a tendency to fall silent and withdraw now and then, and it's during these times that the Lord moves mightily upon me. I'm silent because there's nothing I can say, and I withdraw because there's nothing I can do. I open my mouth to speak but the words are hollow and regardless of what I do, it's meaningless.
The Lord speaks to me, drawing things which are hidden into a place where I witness them in His sight, and this is the work of His Holy Spirit. I've come a long way in such a brief span of time, merging with systems of alters according to His promise to make me whole, so this is how I'm not the man I was the last time I was here. God who never changes, changes me. This is true of everyone whom God receives as His sons and daughters.
I'm finally at peace with the passing of Rebecca for the Lord has said, This is my time of rest. The years I spent protecting her life was the end of the most agonizing trial that spanned my entire life, starting the day I was born. Not only did God demonstrate His power in me, but He also demonstrated His power in her to the glory of His name on this earth. These periods of silent withdrawal are when I hear His voice like thunder that comes from every direction, so the grieving that seized my heart was put to rest by Him... just like the way that these days, are the days of my rest.
The chaos of the storm has passed, and now the Lord is equipping me to overcome programming intended to end the life in this body. It goes very well.
I have a tendency to fall silent and withdraw now and then, and it's during these times that the Lord moves mightily upon me. I'm silent because there's nothing I can say, and I withdraw because there's nothing I can do. I open my mouth to speak but the words are hollow and regardless of what I do, it's meaningless.
The Lord speaks to me, drawing things which are hidden into a place where I witness them in His sight, and this is the work of His Holy Spirit. I've come a long way in such a brief span of time, merging with systems of alters according to His promise to make me whole, so this is how I'm not the man I was the last time I was here. God who never changes, changes me. This is true of everyone whom God receives as His sons and daughters.
I'm finally at peace with the passing of Rebecca for the Lord has said, This is my time of rest. The years I spent protecting her life was the end of the most agonizing trial that spanned my entire life, starting the day I was born. Not only did God demonstrate His power in me, but He also demonstrated His power in her to the glory of His name on this earth. These periods of silent withdrawal are when I hear His voice like thunder that comes from every direction, so the grieving that seized my heart was put to rest by Him... just like the way that these days, are the days of my rest.
The chaos of the storm has passed, and now the Lord is equipping me to overcome programming intended to end the life in this body. It goes very well.
I don't know many who have, brother. I know many who say they have and yet there are very clear indications that they haven't touched the deeper layers. And by indicators, I mean exhibiting signs of coming under programming, and also witnessing them distributing program cues on social media where other survivors could be cued.
It's dangerous to come to a place where we think we've arrived and then present ourselves as if our process is done. We should always seek further healing and freedom.
The reason I say these things is not to insult another survivor, but to give caution to survivors to keep on the path until the Lord Himself says you're done.
I totally get it, brother. I still have things come up that I recognize as remnants of programmed thought patterns. These, I do not classify as actual programming, but wounding that came as a result of programming. When I refer to programming, I am specifically referring to the presence of alters who are still being cued and accessed by the cult to be used for their purposes.
So when I mention someone who is still programmed, it is because they have yet to work through those layers of alters who hold programming and therefore, still have cult-active alters. That's where the danger is in assuming one is free when they haven't gone to those deeper layers. Being very careful here, because I don't want to disrespect or bring an attack against another survivor. It's hard enough just coming to some level of awareness.
We all need to stay humbled before God and allow Him to do the work He wants to do... till we're out of here. (I know you get what I'm saying.)
PS ... it's always great to hear from you! I think of you often. You are in my prayers. Jostler is doing alright. I speak with him almost daily. I will let him know we heard from you!
What a wonderful report, brother! I'm rejoicing in His work in you.