• Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.

    You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
@TLHKAJ This is so well done. Did you do any more such songs? (this is you, right?)

Solemn, moving subject.

No, it isn't me. :) I would take that as a compliment, though. Yes, the song lyrics and visuals are very powerful...and as a survivor, it is both heart wrenching and heartwarming ...because in the process of healing, one learns to love themselves as they witness the love and gentleness of Christ toward alters. And I have had so many powerful experiences as He would call me into His presence for deep healing work. He draws out alters, and is so gentle with them ...bathes them in a surrounding love that goes in, permeates and fills those deeply wounded places.

In witnessing and experiencing His love and tenderness toward my brokenness, I've learned to love these parts (alters) of myself as well. I can see that depiction in the video as she welcomes that little part of herself, and prays for and loves her.

The things we suffered caused breaches and internal conflict, self loathing, etc ...the way to wholeness bridges the gaps with love. (His) Love heals...❤
 
Last edited:

farouk

Well-Known Member
Jan 21, 2009
30,790
19,230
113
North America
No, it isn't me. :) I would take that as a compliment, though. Yes, the song lyrics and visuals are very powerful...and as a survivor, it is both heart wrenching and heartwarming ...because in the process of healing, one learns to love themselves as they witness the love and gentleness of Christ toward alters. And I have had so many powerful experiences as He would call me into His presence for deep healing work. He draws out alters, and is so gentle with them ...bathes them in a surrounding love that goes in, permeates and fills those deeply wounded places.

In witnessing and experiencing His love and tenderness toward my brokenness, I've learned to love these parts (alters) of myself as well. I can see that depiction in the video as she welcomes that little part of herself and, prays for and loves her.

The things we suffered caused breaches and internal conflict, self loathing, etc ...the way to wholeness bridges the gaps with love. (His) Love heals...❤
@TLHKAJ I remember some concentration camp survivors. They indeed would have suffered unspeakable horrors and the memories were always there, not doubt. I don't know that they were Christians. In a sense moving on is also morally compelling.
 

lforrest

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Admin
Aug 10, 2012
5,546
6,793
113
Faith
Christian
I see what you're saying. I don't see anything wrong or off about that unless they get into weird things like the angels becoming or being parts of the person. After all, angels are ministering spirits.

If there was an over emphasis on angels, rather than on Jesus Christ, I might be a bit leery. If the focus was more on what the angels were doing ....it could all look good, but in a subtle way, take one's focus away from Christ. That would be my main concern.

These were people very demonized, mainly from eastern background with roots in idolitry. They needed help fighting the demons, and that is what the angels did. God would also on occasion, but when he stepped in to fight it was always a sweeping display of divine power.

I suppose what this reveals, is that world that is in your mind is a real place. It is as though you are consciously on the other side of the vale between the physical and spiritual.
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus and TLHKAJ

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
These were people very demonized, mainly from eastern background with roots in idolitry. They needed help fighting the demons, and that is what the angels did. God would also on occasion, but when he stepped in to fight it was always a sweeping display of divine power.

I suppose what this reveals, is that world that is in your mind is a real place. It is as though you are consciously on the other side of the vale between the physical and spiritual.

Yes. Survivors of SRA/MK are very aware of the spiritual world, and that aspect of us that isn't seen, is very real and bigger than just the size of the heart and brain. Idk if that made sense. But it is very much like a whole world.
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus and Truman

lforrest

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Admin
Aug 10, 2012
5,546
6,793
113
Faith
Christian
Yes. Survivors of SRA/MK are very aware of the spiritual world, and that aspect of us that isn't seen, is very real and bigger than just the size of the heart and brain. Idk if that made sense. But it is very much like a whole world.

Without prompting multiple people described a garden, with a spring of clear water. Who do you think was there?
 
  • Like
Reactions: TLHKAJ

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I have a curious question for any who care to answer. It's based on something that I regularly experience.

Does your brain/mind have something like an instant replay feature, where maybe you were deeply engrossed in doing a task, and someone was talking...or the radio was on in the background...but something catches your attention and in your head, to re-hear the whole thing?

This happens with me a lot. I noticed it about 12 yrs ago when I was listening to the radio and I heard a song that I really liked. I wanted to go on YouTube and listen again. But the announcer didn't tell who the artist was. Then I remembered I'd heard it before...a few weeks back. And in my mind, I re-heard the song ...all the way to the end, when I heard the announcer say... That was "Grace" by Bebe and Cece Winans. (LOL)

Now, that kinda surprised me bc I'd never realized my mind would record things so precisely (even weeks in the past) and then replay it when I needed the information.

But now, it's kinda a joke with my kids ...if I'm in deep thought or concentrating on something, and they're talking ...I will finish out what I'm doing (maybe a minute or so delay) and then listen to the replay of what they said, and reply. lol

Maybe this is normal??
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus

farouk

Well-Known Member
Jan 21, 2009
30,790
19,230
113
North America
I have a curious question for any who care to answer. It's based on something that I regularly experience.

Does your brain/mind have something like an instant replay feature, where maybe you were deeply engrossed in doing a task, and someone was talking...or the radio was on in the background...but something catches your attention and in your head, to re-hear the whole thing?

This happens with me a lot. I noticed it about 12 yrs ago when I was listening to the radio and I heard a song that I really liked. I wanted to go on YouTube and listen again. But the announcer didn't tell who the artist was. Then I remembered I'd heard it before...a few weeks back. And in my mind, I re-heard the song ...all the way to the end, when I heard the announcer say... "That was "Grace" by Bebe and Cece Winans." LOL

Now, that kinda surprised me bc I'd never realized my mind would record things so precisely (even weeks in the past) and then replay it when I needed the information.

But now, it's kinda a joke with my kids ...if I'm in deep thought or concentrating on something, and they're talking ...I will finish out what I'm doing (maybe a minute or so delay) and then listen to the replay what they said, and reply. lol

Maybe this is normal??
@TLHKAJ I guess it's part of the interplay of memory & imagination. I am reminded of Psalm 63.6: "....When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches."
 
  • Like
Reactions: TLHKAJ

farouk

Well-Known Member
Jan 21, 2009
30,790
19,230
113
North America
Yes. Survivors of SRA/MK are very aware of the spiritual world, and that aspect of us that isn't seen, is very real and bigger than just the size of the heart and brain. Idk if that made sense. But it is very much like a whole world.
@TLHKAJ It's always a blessing when the good, ministering spirits (Hebrews 1) ... "sent to minister to them who shall be heirs of salvation" ... work in blessing for the glory of the Son of God. When souls are troubled for other reasons, it can be very traumatic and sad.
 

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Yep he makes his home in our heart as it is written.
So powerful! Yes, I've had so many encounters with Jesus throughout my healing. Some people lament over the journey and the time it takes. But we're all works in progress. For survivors, it's quite a process. My former prayer counselor once said to me... "Surely, God is able to give us a quick fix. But we wouldn't learn how to maintain. And pretty soon, we'd be back at the same place in need of another quick fix."
So the things we learn and experience with Him along the way are like treasures. I have seen Him take up little ones (child alters) and hide them under the shadow of His wings where the evil one couldn't find them.

I've seen the Lord in a beautiful field of what looked like a green pasture full of beautifully wrapped gifts...all them were the purest gold, but with a sense of color. Each one was different than the other...all unique. I stood there with one of my child alters. Jesus was there, smiling, with His chest puffed out, like a Father who delights in His child and takes joy in seeing them receive His gifts. This little one (alter) looked with excitement and spotted a gift labeled "mommy." She knew it was hers ...she picked it up, and with tears of gratitude, she placed it before the Lord. He gave it back to her...and she ran with excitement to me, held up the gift and said, "Look, look! It's ours!"

In that exchange was us giving to Him our wounding related to "mommy" and Him giving us His healing.

But there were gifts there as far as the eye could see...a storehouse, everything we need is there. He delights in giving His children good gifts. :)

Philippians 4 (KJV) ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¹⁹ But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. ²⁰ Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Now, I know that Jesus is not the Father ...but when we see Him, we see the Father. :)
 

lforrest

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Admin
Aug 10, 2012
5,546
6,793
113
Faith
Christian
So powerful! Yes, I've had so many encounters with Jesus throughout my healing. Some people lament over the journey and the time it takes. But we're all works in progress. For survivors, it's quite a process. My former prayer counselor once said to me... "Surely, God is able to give us a quick fix. But we wouldn't learn how to maintain. And pretty soon, we'd be back at the same place in need of another quick fix."
So the things we learn and experience with Him along the way are like treasures. I have seen Him take up little ones (child alters) and hide them under the shadow of His wings where the evil one couldn't find them.

I've seen the Lord in a beautiful field of what looked like a green pasture full of beautifully wrapped gifts...all them were the purest gold, but with a sense of color. Each one was different than the other...all unique. I stood there with one of my child alters. Jesus was there, smiling, with His chest puffed out, like a Father who delights in His child and takes joy in seeing them receive His gifts. This little one (alter) looked with excitement and spotted a gift labeled "mommy." She knew it was hers ...she picked it up, and with tears of gratitude, she placed it before the Lord. He gave it back to her...and she ran with excitement to me, held up the gift and said, "Look, look! It's ours!"

In that exchange was us giving to Him our wounding related to "mommy" and Him giving us His healing.

But there were gifts there as far as the eye could see...a storehouse, everything we need is there. He delights in giving His children good gifts. :)

Philippians 4 (KJV) ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¹⁹ But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. ²⁰ Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Now, I know that Jesus is not the Father ...but when we see Him, we see the Father. :)

I often wondered why he, the great physician, couldn't just fix us up instantly. The inner work he does.

Even people like me without DID, I know he is doing something but am largely unaware what that is. I can only see the effects.
 

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I often wondered why he, the great physician, couldn't just fix us up instantly. The inner work he does.

Even people like me without DID, I know he is doing something but am largely unaware what that is. I can only see the effects.
I've found that our journeys ...whether DID or not ...are filled with many "instants" along the way. There were things the Lord took immediately when I accepted Him at age 13. Hatred for my dad was one of those things He removed instantly, and He filled my heart with love, forgiveness, and a burden to see him saved.

I think that's what Love does. His love does a lot. And our whole walk with Him hinges on our receiving His love, and loving Him back. Everything we do reflects our love for Him. Right? :)

But mind renewal is a process. We have to put forth effort. It's like sitting at a table to eat. The food is there, but we have to fix the plate, fill it with good things, pick up the silverware, and feed ourselves. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Truman and lforrest

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
@TLHKAJ I remember some concentration camp survivors. They indeed would have suffered unspeakable horrors and the memories were always there, not doubt. I don't know that they were Christians. In a sense moving on is also morally compelling.
The concentration camps ...where they did so many horrific experiments on the people kept there. That was the basis for what became the MK projects. They have taken that and "perfected" it ...and it continues today.
I have a dear survivor friend who was subjected to the camps as a child. She was forced to renounce her Jewishness. It was part of her programming. There was more ...but I probably shouldn't...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Truman

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I've found that our journeys ...whether DID or not ...are filled with many "instants" along the way. There were things the Lord took immediately when I accepted Him at age 13. Hatred for my dad was one of those things He removed instantly, and He filled my heart with love, forgiveness, and a burden to see him saved.

I think that's what Love does. His love does a lot. And our whole walk with Him hinges on our receiving His love, and loving Him back. Everything we do reflects our love for Him. Right? :)

But mind renewal is a process. We have to put forth effort. It's like sitting at a table to eat. The food is there, but we have to fix the plate, fill it with good things, pick up the silverware, and feed ourselves. :)
For years, I thought I was doing well in the area of mind renewal. But I'd worked hard (with the help of programmed DID/dissociation) to disconnect from the very unpleasant parts of my life.

Beginning in 1997, He began urging me to write my life down on paper...everything I could remember. I fought that for 6 years. I finally made a real attempt in 2003 when we had moved away from the (cult) church we were part of. At first, I couldn't remember enough of my life to fill one side of a notebook paper and part of the back...30 years, start to present ...and that was all I could remember. A lot of that was facts stored in my head ...my birth name, where I was born, places we lived, etc.

Anyway ...that was enough to begin opening things up, and a few details would come back here and there so I would rewrite and more details would come, until I had several pages. Then, the Lord reconnected me with one of my alters ...who I strongly believe was a "core split."

Nonetheless, that is where my journey began. Before that, was preparation...building me up in His Word, building relationship, etc. That foundation had to be there for me to face the hard stuff.

I will share more in a but...of how God reconnected me with this alter in 2003.
 
Last edited:

Truman

Well-Known Member
Jul 31, 2020
7,931
8,744
113
Brantford
Faith
Christian
Country
Canada
Yes, ma'am ...you know, my son who went Home this past January at age 17 ...he was a martyr. He suffered punishment bc the cult was angry ...and he chose Christ.
Thank you for sharing, sister. I know all the misinformation and disinformation that is out there claiming that TPM is some.sort of guided imagery. And that simply is not true.

What typically happens in a legit Theophostic Ministry Prayer session might go something like this:
The prayer counselor and client sit and may begin with prayer. They may start with chitchat to get things opened up. The client may be asked to share anything that is on their heart they believe God is pinpointing or bringing their attention to, or maybe they just dive right in to issues the client is currently experiencing. Whatever the case, usually what will happen is that in the course of conversation, the client begins to exhibit emotional pain. This usually leads to exposure of some sort of lie-based thinking that is rooted in a trauma.

For example, they may be dealing with flashbacks or nightmares of a sexual trauma by a parent. What may come up is feelings of shame, guilt, anger, etc. So the counselor may ask if they'd like to address those feelings of shame (etc). They are asked to put words to why they feel shame/ashamed. The client may say, "Well, I loved him, and what kind of person feels love for the person who is raping them?? I must be totally evil!" So there, we have identified a wounding that is rooted in a lie. The counselor will ask something like, "Would you like to take this belief and ask the Lord what He says about it?" The client hopefully agrees and they proceed to ask the Lord to reveal the truth about those things she is believing. What happens after that is up to the Lord, to speak His truth to her. When she is shown the truth from Him, that frees her from the shame.

This is an example from my own experience. One of my child alters came forward in a prayer ministry session with feelings of shame. After being introduced to Christ, she agreed to ask Him to show her how He felt about her feelings of shame.

This is what happened...
She saw a picture of a big huge ugly ball of darkness and evil. But out of the middle of that darkness, she saw a beam of light. God showed her that the darkness was the yucky things that were done to her, and the beam of light was love. The love was not part of the darkness. It had not been tainted or dirtied...because the love came from Him, and it was pure. He showed her that it was love that He placed in her heart that she loved her daddy with. And it was that love that sustained her through the trauma, and drew her heart to Christ...and eventually drew her daddy's heart to Christ.

Now, that was truth that made her free from her shame. There was no guiding words from the counselor that led her to a visualization. There was only prayer..."Lord, what do You have to say about her feelings of shame?"

After receiving truth from the Lord, alters usually are able to merge/integrate fairly easily and often this occurs without much effort. Truth and love brings healing very effectively.
Theophostic...God Light. I haven't heard that name in a long time. I received this ministry back in the 90s.
I almost drowned in Lake Huron when I was 5 and no one even knew. I went out too far and the current took me over my head. I surrendered and may have blacked out. I came to when my feet hit the bottom and I was able to walk out.
Towards the end of a ministry session, we asked Jesus if there was anything else He wanted to address. I instantly was at the beach when I almost drowned. We asked Jesus where He was at the time and He said it was Him who pushed me into shallower waters. He was there. I'd forgotten all about it. It was a special thing He did for me. Thanks for reminding me. Shalom.
 

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Theophostic...God Light. I haven't heard that name in a long time. I received this ministry back in the 90s.
I almost drowned in Lake Huron when I was 5 and no one even knew. I went out too far and the current took me over my head. I surrendered and may have blacked out. I came to when my feet hit the bottom and I was able to walk out.
Towards the end of a ministry session, we asked Jesus if there was anything else He wanted to address. I instantly was at the beach when I almost drowned. We asked Jesus where He was at the time and He said it was Him who pushed me into shallower waters. He was there. I'd forgotten all about it. It was a special thing He did for me. Thanks for reminding me. Shalom.
You're welcome, @Ron Coates
Amazing testimony! Thank you for sharing that! I wonder how many times God has intervened when we didn't even know it.

Part of what you wrote resonated .... the part where you gave up/surrendered. I've had memories of that over and over .... in the cult they do these water/drowning traumas. And that's one thing that I remember is struggling for air, and the peace that comes when you just give up. That's what they looked for.... when we surrendered and gave up the fight to live... then they revived us ... because see, they had to be seen as "god" ... the one who said if we lived or died.


I'm not one for horror movies, but I watched snippets of "Stranger Things" because it is based on MK Ultra (with some effects added in and unnecessary foul language, etc). But the little girl they call "Eleven" ... first, that is a very occult revered number which is linked to psychic abilities. But in the movie, you see that she calls her programmer "papa." That's very common .... as the child learns that this person holds their life in his hands. They become trauma-bonded to their perps.

Edit: Sorry.... I keep going into teaching/awareness mode.
 
Last edited:

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
@Ron Coates I'm sorry you had that horrific experience when you were so little. But I'm always amazed to hear of ways the Lord steps in and rescues.... and brings healing.
 

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I got about a quarter way through the video, and I cannot imagine what else she had to say as there is a lot more video there. Sickened.
Yes, I understand. It's not easy to listen to. I've listened to it several times, as it is validating... as well as I feel it's important that each survivor who speaks out is heard. So I try to support other survivors that way. But I know it's not easy... especially if this is all very new to you. It was a valiant effort, though. :) *hugs*