Understanding MPD/DID & SRA/MK
- Thread starter TLHKAJ
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From a prayer book for survivors of traumatic abuse, including SRA/MK....
How can one heal from anything, let alone severe abuse? In Isaiah 61, we read that we heal through a Person who is the One who is sent to set the captives free and to bind up the brokenhearted. There is only One in the history of human experience who had the power to heal and still does heal. It is the Person of Jesus Christ who heals, because He was sinless and atoned for every sin; He alone carries the authority to heal us.
This prayer book is not a collection of formulaic prayers that will automatically bring about healing and deliverance. The prayers are only effective when faith and trust are places in the One who heals. It is what the Person of Jesus Christ accomplished (on the cross) that makes these prayers powerful and effective for an individual, not just the use of His name without a personal relationship and faith to believe. Dissociative Identity Disorder and the demonic strongholds that result from severe abuse and ritual abuse can be extremely complicated and endlessly confusing. Leave that complexity to the only One who can heal and redeem such intricacies. As you read through these prayers, do not lose sight of faith in the Person to whom you are praying. He makes simple what is complicated and clarifies what is confusing.
The information in this booklet is designed to be user friendly for those who have suffered the effects of severe trauma, especially those who have backgrounds of satanic ritual abuse and have developed Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) as a result.
(To be continued in next post....)
How can one heal from anything, let alone severe abuse? In Isaiah 61, we read that we heal through a Person who is the One who is sent to set the captives free and to bind up the brokenhearted. There is only One in the history of human experience who had the power to heal and still does heal. It is the Person of Jesus Christ who heals, because He was sinless and atoned for every sin; He alone carries the authority to heal us.
This prayer book is not a collection of formulaic prayers that will automatically bring about healing and deliverance. The prayers are only effective when faith and trust are places in the One who heals. It is what the Person of Jesus Christ accomplished (on the cross) that makes these prayers powerful and effective for an individual, not just the use of His name without a personal relationship and faith to believe. Dissociative Identity Disorder and the demonic strongholds that result from severe abuse and ritual abuse can be extremely complicated and endlessly confusing. Leave that complexity to the only One who can heal and redeem such intricacies. As you read through these prayers, do not lose sight of faith in the Person to whom you are praying. He makes simple what is complicated and clarifies what is confusing.
The information in this booklet is designed to be user friendly for those who have suffered the effects of severe trauma, especially those who have backgrounds of satanic ritual abuse and have developed Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) as a result.
(To be continued in next post....)
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I've found that our journeys ...whether DID or not ...are filled with many "instants" along the way. There were things the Lord took immediately when I accepted Him at age 13. Hatred for my dad was one of those things He removed instantly, and He filled my heart with love, forgiveness, and a burden to see him saved.
I think that's what Love does. His love does a lot. And our whole walk with Him hinges on our receiving His love, and loving Him back. Everything we do reflects our love for Him. Right?
But mind renewal is a process. We have to put forth effort. It's like sitting at a table to eat. The food is there, but we have to fix the plate, fill it with good things, pick up the silverware, and feed ourselves.
Would Jesus see to your full treatment from beginning to end, or would he rather you also get help on the outside?
I fully believe that His desire is that we connect with others and receive from each other (give and receive). There are many areas of wounding that really can't be touched in the same way unless God uses "Jesus with skin on."
That's why I've made so much effort to share my story and bring awareness, in hopes that more believers will see the need for ministry in this area. God didn't create us to be alone. But I've been alone in my journey more often than not. I have been rejected by churches, even by my friends who said they loved me. After my children and I were hurt/assaulted on Mother's Day 2009 ...I sought help. I was told that they couldn't help me and I didn't belong there. This is not uncommon....it happens to survivors all the time.
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Also, the very nature of DID makes it a challenge to reach out when things are especially difficult. We have always had to survive and it's natural to just hunker down, and push through on our own. So that, together with the lack of understanding and rejection by our brothers and sisters, is the makings for a huge breach. I have learned to reach out ...but more times than not, it doesn't turn out well. Then I decide I would've been better off not reaching out, than adding rejection and misunderstanding to my load.
Making sense?
After a negative experience, I usually pull back awhile...weeks, months, or a year ...then try again ....sometimes, I am pleasantly surprised.
What keeps me sharing my story is the hopes that it will make things easier for other survivors in the long run. I am used to rejection and being alone ...but I hope that by my sharing, they won't have to be alone.
Making sense?
After a negative experience, I usually pull back awhile...weeks, months, or a year ...then try again ....sometimes, I am pleasantly surprised.
What keeps me sharing my story is the hopes that it will make things easier for other survivors in the long run. I am used to rejection and being alone ...but I hope that by my sharing, they won't have to be alone.
There is that which only Christ can do ...and then there is healing that He intends to accomplish through others who are walking in His love ...healthy godly relationship provides an atmosphere where so much growth and healing can take place.
Sometimes, our hearts cry out for a person who will just hold us and love us ....hold on tight while we cry or scream, fall apart, etc. But that is a rarity. And although that would be amazing, so far, it hasn't been something I've experienced in person. God sometimes reserves things for a time when we have our roots deeper in Him ...and sometimes, we think we know what we need but He knows the complete picture. And although I know He wants us functioning together, rather than apart (the family of God) ...there have been times when He pulled me aside and removed people so that it would be just me and Him as we went to the root of some pretty devastated places inside.
But no matter ...alone or with human support, it's still all His doings.
Sometimes, our hearts cry out for a person who will just hold us and love us ....hold on tight while we cry or scream, fall apart, etc. But that is a rarity. And although that would be amazing, so far, it hasn't been something I've experienced in person. God sometimes reserves things for a time when we have our roots deeper in Him ...and sometimes, we think we know what we need but He knows the complete picture. And although I know He wants us functioning together, rather than apart (the family of God) ...there have been times when He pulled me aside and removed people so that it would be just me and Him as we went to the root of some pretty devastated places inside.
But no matter ...alone or with human support, it's still all His doings.
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I'm reminded of Psalms 103.There is that which only Christ can do ...and then there is healing that He intends to accomplish through others who are walking in His love ...healthy godly relationship provides an atmosphere where so much growth and healing can take place.
Sometimes, our hearts cry out for a person who will just hold us and love us ....hold on tight while we cry or scream, fall apart, etc. But that is a rarity. And although that would be amazing, so far, it hasn't been something I've experienced in person. God sometimes reserves things for a time when we have our roots deeper in Him ...and sometimes, we think we know what we need but He knows the complete picture. And although I know He wants us functioning together, rather than apart (the family of God) ...there have been times when He pulled me aside and removed people so that it would be just me and Him as we went to the root of some pretty devastated places inside.
But no matter ...alone or with human support, it's still all His doings.
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;
4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;
5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The Lord executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.
@TLHKAJ
Just for you..re-posted from the .....
The exploration of space and the possibility of extraterrestrial life
thread....
MK Ultra Drugs - hallucinogenics, especially LSD and BZ, and other cocktails, to apply into the body at different intervals and in different regiments to cause entry into and aid in the manipulation of one's subconscious mind. Once inside the subconscious, to then insert programs, suggestions and triggers for immediate or latent specific results.
These drugs were not to actually the control substances or mechanisms. They were used to support and soften up the subconscious mind, in conjunction with the real mind controlling devices or mechanisms for physical and mental torture and abuse, and trauma...like sensory deprivation, excruciating pain induction in specific places of the body, oxygen deprivation, near-drowning experiences, extreme terrifying height experiences, extreme sound/frequencies into the body, electro-shock therapy, sexual acts, watching depraved acts, forces to eat disgusting things..and then usually supplemented with happy and safe things...this was cyclical in nature..until the planned result(s) was/were obtained.
Several sub-personalities could be then formed or just one or two, by these methods, and each personality dedicated to serve different purposes of the handlers or programmers.
These drugs allowed the unconscious to be pliable and porous for all these sick and evil actions and manipulations, whether seemingly pleasant or unpleasant, to invade and leave their imprint there.
Just for you..re-posted from the .....
The exploration of space and the possibility of extraterrestrial life
thread....
MK Ultra Drugs - hallucinogenics, especially LSD and BZ, and other cocktails, to apply into the body at different intervals and in different regiments to cause entry into and aid in the manipulation of one's subconscious mind. Once inside the subconscious, to then insert programs, suggestions and triggers for immediate or latent specific results.
These drugs were not to actually the control substances or mechanisms. They were used to support and soften up the subconscious mind, in conjunction with the real mind controlling devices or mechanisms for physical and mental torture and abuse, and trauma...like sensory deprivation, excruciating pain induction in specific places of the body, oxygen deprivation, near-drowning experiences, extreme terrifying height experiences, extreme sound/frequencies into the body, electro-shock therapy, sexual acts, watching depraved acts, forces to eat disgusting things..and then usually supplemented with happy and safe things...this was cyclical in nature..until the planned result(s) was/were obtained.
Several sub-personalities could be then formed or just one or two, by these methods, and each personality dedicated to serve different purposes of the handlers or programmers.
These drugs allowed the unconscious to be pliable and porous for all these sick and evil actions and manipulations, whether seemingly pleasant or unpleasant, to invade and leave their imprint there.
@APAK
This is something I always remembered. I was about age 2, and it was verified by my mother.
I remember a bed ...the sound of a fan blowing ...and a song playing, "Afternoon Delight." The most vivid part of that memory is the euphoric feeling, the sounds of the music became swirls of vivid colors. It was very inviting ...I flew up into the swirls of colors in complete euphoria. Whatever was happening to my body+the euphoria made it very easy to leave the body.
This is something I always remembered. I was about age 2, and it was verified by my mother.
I remember a bed ...the sound of a fan blowing ...and a song playing, "Afternoon Delight." The most vivid part of that memory is the euphoric feeling, the sounds of the music became swirls of vivid colors. It was very inviting ...I flew up into the swirls of colors in complete euphoria. Whatever was happening to my body+the euphoria made it very easy to leave the body.
@APAK @Prayer Warrior
When I was age 2, before the incident I wrote about above, I have another memory.
In this memory, I am in the kitchen of a childhood home. I am can see that my parents and an aunt and uncle are visiting. They are sitting at the dining room table playing cards. At some point, my father and uncle leave the table to go into the bedroom shared by my older sister and I. My mother and aunt are at the table talking. After a little bit, another "me" flies out of the bedroom (through the closed door) ...and I fly up to join her. We fly out the front door, up over the trees...far away into the starry night sky, as far away as we can go.
By that age, I'd learned that being outside the body was safer than being in it. When I began working on healing, deprogramming, and integration, I wasn't aware that I never fully held the front (host). I was always buffered and removed from the front to varying degrees. But I held that position from a place that wasn't fully in the body.
In September of 2008, for the first time, I held the front. It was very u settling. Emotions out of whack...they were new to me and much stronger than I'd ever known. Colors were so vivid ...brighter...details of nature, the trees, the sky ...and my children's faces, the sounds of their voices, little nuances of their personalities. I remember studying their faces, their personalities ...and holding a little kitten and noticing the details up close for the first time. And I didn't know my husband ....other parts of my front system knew him better than I did. I didn't like him much.
Anyway ...it was a huge learning experience. And I became aware one day how disconnected I was from the body. I was at the kitchen sink filing the dishwasher. I was rinsing dishes and bending down to put them into the dishwasher. After maybe 15 or 20 minutes, I began to hear a nagging voice inside. It took several minutes for me to tune in as the voice became more persistent..."Something's hurting! You need to check on that!" At that point, I realized I had a pain in my side. I checked and discovered there was an open ink pen in my pocket. Every time I bent down to put something into the dishwasher, it was jabbing my side. I had embedded ink marks in my side.
That's when I realized I needed to learn to stay in the body.
Another incident around that time...
I was walking through mt dining room on my way to the laundry room. As I passed the desk, I heard an email pop through and I turned to check ...well, my body kept moving forward, and I slipped out. I scrambled to catch up with the body.
At that time, I was still learning to stay out front and in the body and others (alters) were still side-by-side with me to help ...until I learned the ropes and my front system merged into one.
When I was age 2, before the incident I wrote about above, I have another memory.
In this memory, I am in the kitchen of a childhood home. I am can see that my parents and an aunt and uncle are visiting. They are sitting at the dining room table playing cards. At some point, my father and uncle leave the table to go into the bedroom shared by my older sister and I. My mother and aunt are at the table talking. After a little bit, another "me" flies out of the bedroom (through the closed door) ...and I fly up to join her. We fly out the front door, up over the trees...far away into the starry night sky, as far away as we can go.
By that age, I'd learned that being outside the body was safer than being in it. When I began working on healing, deprogramming, and integration, I wasn't aware that I never fully held the front (host). I was always buffered and removed from the front to varying degrees. But I held that position from a place that wasn't fully in the body.
In September of 2008, for the first time, I held the front. It was very u settling. Emotions out of whack...they were new to me and much stronger than I'd ever known. Colors were so vivid ...brighter...details of nature, the trees, the sky ...and my children's faces, the sounds of their voices, little nuances of their personalities. I remember studying their faces, their personalities ...and holding a little kitten and noticing the details up close for the first time. And I didn't know my husband ....other parts of my front system knew him better than I did. I didn't like him much.
Anyway ...it was a huge learning experience. And I became aware one day how disconnected I was from the body. I was at the kitchen sink filing the dishwasher. I was rinsing dishes and bending down to put them into the dishwasher. After maybe 15 or 20 minutes, I began to hear a nagging voice inside. It took several minutes for me to tune in as the voice became more persistent..."Something's hurting! You need to check on that!" At that point, I realized I had a pain in my side. I checked and discovered there was an open ink pen in my pocket. Every time I bent down to put something into the dishwasher, it was jabbing my side. I had embedded ink marks in my side.
That's when I realized I needed to learn to stay in the body.
Another incident around that time...
I was walking through mt dining room on my way to the laundry room. As I passed the desk, I heard an email pop through and I turned to check ...well, my body kept moving forward, and I slipped out. I scrambled to catch up with the body.
At that time, I was still learning to stay out front and in the body and others (alters) were still side-by-side with me to help ...until I learned the ropes and my front system merged into one.
The elite cult's use of the number 8
As a child, I was taken to live with a cult family. I don't understand a whole lot about that time, except I needed to be moved to where there was better access for what they wanted to use me for.
The house was an "octagon house" and it had 3 stories ...my room was at the very top, and even my bed had an octagonal shape. Most of what I remember about that place was details about the family, animals ...the scenery (mountains) ...time of year I was taken there was just before Christmas. And I remember being taken at night to some remote mountain location to meet with a tall thin glass-blue eyed man. Idk what that was about except I'm sure it wasn't good.
I know that a lot of their intended purpose for me centered around antichrist. There was even a meeting with the black pope (somewhere around age 10 to 12). And I was taken to the Temple Mount where there are high level rituals held underground. All of this relates to antichrist...
As a child, I was taken to live with a cult family. I don't understand a whole lot about that time, except I needed to be moved to where there was better access for what they wanted to use me for.
The house was an "octagon house" and it had 3 stories ...my room was at the very top, and even my bed had an octagonal shape. Most of what I remember about that place was details about the family, animals ...the scenery (mountains) ...time of year I was taken there was just before Christmas. And I remember being taken at night to some remote mountain location to meet with a tall thin glass-blue eyed man. Idk what that was about except I'm sure it wasn't good.
I know that a lot of their intended purpose for me centered around antichrist. There was even a meeting with the black pope (somewhere around age 10 to 12). And I was taken to the Temple Mount where there are high level rituals held underground. All of this relates to antichrist...
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@TLHKAJ
How can you be certain that any knowledge you have of secrets kept by the occult or relating to government conspiracy are not implanted memories from demons?
It stands to reason that a demon would be able to create false memories from within. So for example a trip to an underground NASA facility or Alien abduction could be a complete fabrication of a demon. And because you are out of the body the demon feeds the senses.
Consider the ancient oracles, something similar probably happened for them to see visions.
How can you be certain that any knowledge you have of secrets kept by the occult or relating to government conspiracy are not implanted memories from demons?
It stands to reason that a demon would be able to create false memories from within. So for example a trip to an underground NASA facility or Alien abduction could be a complete fabrication of a demon. And because you are out of the body the demon feeds the senses.
Consider the ancient oracles, something similar probably happened for them to see visions.
My memories have been confirmed by outside sources ...other survivors, parents, siblings, other family members, etc ...we well as news/science related sources. Many of these are memories I always had (not recovered later). I tried to suppress those memories, but they never went away. Also, I have had the Lord Himself bring me to memories and confirm memories.
One huge thing for me is that the emotional pain, recurring nightmares, fears/triggers that I had, disappear once I work through the trauma with the Lord.
Then also a person doesn't get threatened by the cult, followed, harassed, shot at, pushed off the road.....have their granddaughter stolen and their son killed...over fabricated imaginations.
I have several doctor's confirmations of traumas ...one doctor asked if I'd experienced domestic violence, after seeing my ribs. He said it looked like I'd been slammed against a steering wheel in a car accident. Another doctor and nurse confirmed signs of sexual assault ...another confirmed what looked like some sort of operation was done on my head, by the old scars behind my ears. That confirms some very specific memories. A doctor recently diagnosed "blunt trauma injury" ....and my chiropractor is currently treating me for 2 trauma injury related conditions ....Tietze Syndrome and Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, as well as twisted spine and shoulders/hips/knees dislocated. I didn't imagine those.
One huge thing for me is that the emotional pain, recurring nightmares, fears/triggers that I had, disappear once I work through the trauma with the Lord.
Then also a person doesn't get threatened by the cult, followed, harassed, shot at, pushed off the road.....have their granddaughter stolen and their son killed...over fabricated imaginations.
I have several doctor's confirmations of traumas ...one doctor asked if I'd experienced domestic violence, after seeing my ribs. He said it looked like I'd been slammed against a steering wheel in a car accident. Another doctor and nurse confirmed signs of sexual assault ...another confirmed what looked like some sort of operation was done on my head, by the old scars behind my ears. That confirms some very specific memories. A doctor recently diagnosed "blunt trauma injury" ....and my chiropractor is currently treating me for 2 trauma injury related conditions ....Tietze Syndrome and Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, as well as twisted spine and shoulders/hips/knees dislocated. I didn't imagine those.
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@lforest I have no memories of actual abductions. I do have memories of "UFOs" ...but I never remember an abduction. What I remember are the programming sessions they did with me and my mom using harmonics ...pulses and sounds that seem to penetrate every part of your mind/brain.
But I know that many survivors have abduction memories. Those are used as a cover ....and they create those cover memories in many ways. It doesn't mean they didn't happen. It just means they don't have the full truth and were led to believe lies (such as that these entities were/are "aliens").
For me, I always knew that whoever was behind the UFOs were not aliens.
But I know that many survivors have abduction memories. Those are used as a cover ....and they create those cover memories in many ways. It doesn't mean they didn't happen. It just means they don't have the full truth and were led to believe lies (such as that these entities were/are "aliens").
For me, I always knew that whoever was behind the UFOs were not aliens.
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I'm not suggesting everything is a fabrication, but that some may be in order to discredit the real memories.My memories have been confirmed by outside sources ...other survivors, parents, siblings, other family members, etc ...we well as news/science related sources. Many of these are memories I always had (not recovered later). I tried to suppress those memories, but they never went away. Also, I have had the Lord Himself bring me to memories and confirm memories.
One huge thing for me is that the emotional pain, recurring nightmares, fears/triggers that I had, disappear once I work through the trauma with the Lord.
Then also a person doesn't get threatened by the cult, followed, harassed, shot at, pushed off the road.....have their granddaughter stolen and their son killed...over fabricated imaginations.
I have several doctor's confirmations of traumas ...one doctor asked if I'd experienced domestic violence, after seeing my ribs. He said it looked like I'd been slammed against a steering wheel in a car accident. Another doctor and nurse confirmed signs of sexual assault ...another confirmed what looked like some sort of operation was done on my head, by the old scars behind my ears. That confirms some very specific memories. A doctor recently diagnosed "blunt trauma injury" ....and my chiropractor is currently treating me for 2 trauma injury related conditions ....Tietze Syndrome and Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, as well as twisted spine and shoulders/hips/knees dislocated. I didn't imagine those.
A demon could deceive many people, with the same memory, and alters could be programmed to carry on the occult practices, and defend it from threats of exposure.
But if the Lord says something really happened, there is no arguing with that. Save it be a false Jesus, but from what you've described that doesn't appear to be the case.