What is the Christian response?

[aspen]

Here is my problem: I love my wife - she loves me; we cannot stand living together. I am serious. We have been married for 20 years. I can moralize my position and she can moralize hers. We've been to a great counselor. The more we are apart, the happier we are. Neither one of us want a divorce. Neither one of us wants to live together. Furthermore, we have no dependents. I have moved out and given my wife everything and I am not bitter. I even shovel her driveway and will mow her lawn. We are just so different that we keep hurting each other - so what is the Christian response?

 

[Lively Stone]

The Christian response is: If you are both Christians, you need to stop hurting one another and recommit to one another before God, who is to be made the head of your home. As the husband, you need to get back on the right track and love her as Jesus Christ loves the Church---sacrificially. Your wife needs to remember to respect you and hold you in high regard as the man who loves her in such a way. God is all about the family being united. It brings Him joy to see His kids enjoying each other with Him right there in the middle of it all.

Being different can be a real joy! It is differences that attract people to one another in the first place. Two different personalities make for one complete entity in a marriage!

 

[Hollyrock]

Here is my problem: I love my wife - she loves me; we cannot stand living together. I am serious. We have been married for 20 years. I can moralize my position and she can moralize hers. We've been to a great counselor. The more we are apart, the happier we are. Neither one of us want a divorce. Neither one of us wants to live together. Furthermore, we have no dependents. I have moved out and given my wife everything and I am not bitter. I even shovel her driveway and will mow her lawn. We are just so different that we keep hurting each other - so what is the Christian response?

aspen,I am so sorry for what you and your wife are going through. I have'nt a clue as to what the Christian response should be, so I will just pray in earnest for the both of you ...hang in there my friend

 

[aspen]

aspen,I am so sorry for what you and your wife are going through. I have'nt a clue as to what the Christian response should be, so I will just pray in earnest for the both of you ...hang in there my friend

Holly - you know what? I love your posts more and more.....

The Christian response is: If you are both Christians, you need to stop hurting one another and recommit to one another before God, who is to be made the head of your home. As the husband, you need to get back on the right track and love her as Jesus Christ loves the Church---sacrificially. Your wife needs to remember to respect you and hold you in high regard as the man who loves her in such a way. God is all about the family being united. It brings Him joy to see His kids enjoying each other with Him right there in the middle of it all.

Been serving for 20 years....and plan to continue.

 

[Lively Stone]

What does your great counselor say? Is she or he recommending the separation? What does the word of God say about it?

 

[aspen]

What does your great counselor say? Is she or he recommending the separation? What does the word of God say about it?

He is a narrative therapist - he believes that we can create our own memories and proceed into our future together. I think he is right. The only problem is that, although we can forgive each other for past mistakes, we are finding it difficult to proceed together.

 

[Angelina]

Take the space you both obviously need dear brother and go for separate counseling...you need to be talking to a third party [Christian]. Eventually you may be able to work it out together in a combined session. Hebrews 13:4 is very important at this time, please be careful how you conduct yourself while in this position...1 Peter 5:8...praying for you dear brother

Bless you!

 

[Lively Stone]

He is a narrative therapist - he believes that we can create our own memories and proceed into our future together. I think he is right. The only problem is that, although we can forgive each other for past mistakes, we are finding it difficult to proceed together.

Christian counselling would be a great way to go, and what Angerlina has said is truly godly.

 

[jiggyfly]

Here is my problem: I love my wife - she loves me; we cannot stand living together. I am serious. We have been married for 20 years. I can moralize my position and she can moralize hers. We've been to a great counselor. The more we are apart, the happier we are. Neither one of us want a divorce. Neither one of us wants to live together. Furthermore, we have no dependents. I have moved out and given my wife everything and I am not bitter. I even shovel her driveway and will mow her lawn. We are just so different that we keep hurting each other - so what is the Christian response?

Aspen have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman?

 

[mr. wink]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhB0IM0P3GI

 

[Foreigner]

Here is my problem: I love my wife - she loves me; we cannot stand living together. I am serious. We have been married for 20 years. I can moralize my position and she can moralize hers. We've been to a great counselor. The more we are apart, the happier we are. Neither one of us want a divorce. Neither one of us wants to live together. Furthermore, we have no dependents. I have moved out and given my wife everything and I am not bitter. I even shovel her driveway and will mow her lawn. We are just so different that we keep hurting each other - so what is the Christian response?

-- Aspen, you said that the work you are doing was 'putting your kids through college.'

 

[Redeemed86]

Here is my problem: I love my wife - she loves me; we cannot stand living together. I am serious. We have been married for 20 years. I can moralize my position and she can moralize hers. We've been to a great counselor. The more we are apart, the happier we are. Neither one of us want a divorce. Neither one of us wants to live together. Furthermore, we have no dependents. I have moved out and given my wife everything and I am not bitter. I even shovel her driveway and will mow her lawn. We are just so different that we keep hurting each other - so what is the Christian response?

I'm not married, so I will keep my opinions to myself on this and just pray for reconciliation between you two.

God Bless, Aspen

 

[justaname]

Aspen I pray for you and know God will use this to do a great work. Lively Stone has given the biblical response that I could give. Prayer, prayer, and more prayer. Forgiveness, patients, love, understanding.


And maybe a bigger house JK

 

[FHII]

Here is my problem: I love my wife - she loves me; we cannot stand living together. I am serious. We have been married for 20 years. I can moralize my position and she can moralize hers. We've been to a great counselor. The more we are apart, the happier we are. Neither one of us want a divorce. Neither one of us wants to live together. Furthermore, we have no dependents. I have moved out and given my wife everything and I am not bitter. I even shovel her driveway and will mow her lawn. We are just so different that we keep hurting each other - so what is the Christian response?

Move on. It sounds like you two care for one another.... But it was a mistake. You two hooked up and it didn't work. Keep shoveling her drive way, keep mowing her long because it sounds like she's a believer. We help our brethren. Even if there are ill feelings.

I understand that you are Catholic, and it is not easy with your doctrine to just get a divorce. Deal with it. Do whatever steps you need to do. But obviously she ain't your "rib". She's not bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. Eve was Adam's rib. Everyone has a real soul mate like that. You two just made a mistake.

 

[Lively Stone]

Move on. It sounds like you two care for one another.... But it was a mistake. You two hooked up and it didn't work. Keep shoveling her drive way, keep mowing her long because it sounds like she's a believer. We help our brethren. Even if there are ill feelings.

I understand that you are Catholic, and it is not easy with your doctrine to just get a divorce. Deal with it. Do whatever steps you need to do. But obviously she ain't your "rib". She's not bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. Eve was Adam's rib. Everyone has a real soul mate like that. You two just made a mistake.

There is no such thing as a soul mate. We make vows and god expects us to keep them. Unless there is adultery involved, or abuse, there is no call to separate without a goal to come together again. We need to depend on God to help us to love our spouses as He would have us love them. It isn't a matter of feelings, but of an act of the will to love. God has the wonderful power to change what we think is a misatake and make it into something precious---when we walk in obedience to Him and His word.