What IS this…?

[stunnedbygrace]

I have more recently been having an odd struggle. I’ve always been a pretty hard worker, but more recently, I cannot seem to rouse myself to it. I’ve chastised myself for why I’m suddenly so lazy. I can’t even cajole myself into doing some furniture to sell. I just cannot. And I love doing furniture. I really do like it. But I can’t make myself do it.

So this morning I was reading a book a friend wrote, and he said something like…having to give up all our worldly aspirations as they can only hinder us. And it struck me that what I’m chastising myself over and am so confused over is maybe Gods doing, in me.

This sort of thing has happened to me before, like…years ago I was looking for a job but couldn’t find one. I even applied at a dollar store and couldn’t find anyone, anywhere, to hire me. At a certain point I stopped and said, wait a minute, this is not natural…so I asked God what this meant, since Paul said if a man wouldn’t work he shouldn’t be fed. So I said, where is the work you will give me to do with my hands, Lord? Like, what I was struggling in, it became so apparent to me that God was preventing.

I can’t think of what else would make a hardworking person suddenly so…purposeless, unless it was Gods doing…

 

[Mantis]

I have more recently been having an odd struggle. I’ve always been a pretty hard worker, but more recently, I cannot seem to rouse myself to it. I’ve chastised myself for why I’m suddenly so lazy. I can’t even cajole myself into doing some furniture to sell. I just cannot. And I love doing furniture. I really do like it. But I can’t make myself do it.

So this morning I was reading a book a friend wrote, and he said something like…having to give up all our worldly aspirations as they can only hinder us. And it struck me that what I’m chastising myself over and am so confused over is maybe Gods doing, in me.

This sort of thing has happened to me before, like…years ago I was looking for a job but couldn’t find one. I even applied at a dollar store and couldn’t find anyone, anywhere, to hire me. At a certain point I stopped and said, wait a minute, this is not natural…so I asked God what this meant, since Paul said if a man wouldn’t work he shouldn’t be fed. So I said, where is the work you will give me to do with my hands, Lord? Like, what I was struggling in, it became so apparent to me that God was preventing.

I can’t think of what else would make a hardworking person suddenly so…purposeless, unless it was Gods doing…

Thats interesting. I have lost motivation for just about everything. But that mostly is due to my chronic pain. It is very hard to get motivated if you know it will hurt.

Maybe he is changing your mind about career? Maybe he will open a door for you!

 

[Nancy]

Maybe you are experiencing some kind of depression. I was a very, very hard worker for 43 years and was totally thrown for a loop the first two years of not being able to hold a job anymore, always had full time, part time and all the overtime I could get. Now that I am home mostly, I cannot find the motivation to do things in my own home! Lost interest in most things. Or, like you said, could be God has another plan for you. BTW- looking at around the 20th-23rd or 24th for my little trip to see you!

 

[stunnedbygrace]

Thats interesting. I have lost motivation for just about everything. But that mostly is due to my chronic pain. It is very hard to get motivated if you know it will hurt.

Maybe he is changing your mind about career? Maybe he will open a door for you!

I don’t know. I rather get the sense that I’m to…keep sitting in this…emptiness of desire? Will? Just sit here in trust? But I don’t know, it’s confusing.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

Maybe you are experiencing some kind of depression. I was a very, very hard worker for 43 years and was totally thrown for a loop the first two years of not being able to hold a job anymore, always had full time, part time and all the overtime I could get. Now that I am home mostly, I cannot find the motivation to do things in my own home! Lost interest in most things. Or, like you said, could be God has another plan for you. BTW- looking at around the 20th-23rd or 24th for my little trip to see you!

Of September, right?

 

[Nancy]

Of September, right?

Yes.

 

[Nancy]

I don’t know. I rather get the sense that I’m to…keep sitting in this…emptiness of desire? Will? Just sit here in trust? But I don’t know, it’s confusing.

Crisis of faith??

 

[stunnedbygrace]

Crisis of faith??

No…I’m not having a crisis of trust…there’s confusion as to what the heck is happening, but I haven’t slipped in trust. And honestly, this has been going on in a lesser form for well over a year. It’s just reached a more…massive state the last few weeks. It just didn’t occur to me it was Gods doing until this morning. I kept wondering what was wrong with me.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

Now that I am home mostly, I cannot find the motivation to do things in my own home! Lost interest in most things.

Yes, see this is pretty close. I can only seem to make myself do what absolutely cannot be put off. I’m not unhappy in it, just…puzzled.

 

[Nancy]

No…I’m not having a crisis of trust…there’s confusion as to what the heck is happening, but I haven’t slipped in trust. And honestly, this has been going on in a lesser form for well over a year. It’s just reached a more…massive state the last few weeks. It just didn’t occur to me it was Gods doing until this morning. I kept wondering what was wrong with me.

Hmm, I think there is something good on the horizon coming your way sister, your faith will bring you through!
Beautiful day here, gonna take a ride on my new toy.
Later!

 

[Lambano]

If it is God calling you to your vocation, what do you think that vocation could be?

 

[dev553344]

Sounds like a little depression perhaps. Mild probably is what they would call it, just losing interest in old things. I'm getting a little of that also but I'm a psych patient so that's to be expected from me. They have ways of dealing with it, but I can't remember what that is. I think it has to do with being around people more.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

If it is God calling you to your vocation, what do you think that vocation could be?

mmm…I don’t think He’s calling me to a vocation. I would maybe guess that He’s…burning off dross? But there’s been a struggle where I keep trying to force, cajole or reason with myself to get me to stop being so inert. But I can’t stop it. It’s not natural for me either, so it feels like I need to stop it. It’s almost like a deep sleep but while still being awake. Gah, that sounds weird. I’m just going to sit in it and wait and trust Him.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

It doesn’t feel like depression. I’m not unhappy, downcast or in distress. I’m a curiosity to myself in this. Like I’m looking at a weird bug and thinking why is this bug doing this…?

 

[Dropship]

..I can’t think of what else would make a hardworking person suddenly so…purposeless, unless it was Gods doing…

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, so perhaps God was saying to you "Whoa, slow down and chill a bit to let your spiritual batteries recharge"..
My late dad was a workaholic and ended up half-nutty with a complete lack of perspective on what was or wasn't important in life, for example as a kid he once kicked me like a dog for the heinous crime of throwing orange peel down the toilet bowl but it was too bouyant to flush!
I'm sure you don't want to end up like him ..

 

[Nancy]

mmm…I don’t think He’s calling me to a vocation. I would maybe guess that He’s…burning off dross? But there’s been a struggle where I keep trying to force, cajole or reason with myself to get me to stop being so inert. But I can’t stop it. It’s not natural for me either, so it feels like I need to stop it. It’s almost like a deep sleep but while still being awake. Gah, that sounds weird. I’m just going to sit in it and wait and trust Him.

"I’m just going to sit in it and wait and trust Him."
Best thing, don't be a Martha.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, so perhaps God was saying to you "Whoa, slow down and chill a bit to let your spiritual batteries recharge"..
My late dad was a workaholic and ended up half-nutty with a complete lack of perspective on what was or wasn't important in life, for example as a kid he once kicked me like a dog for the heinous crime of throwing orange peel down the toilet bowl but it was too bouyant to flush!
I'm sure you don't want to end up like him ..

Nah…I’m hardworking but nowhere even close to a workaholic. I’ve never had trouble with that, even before I came to God. Trust me, I rest just as hard as I work!
No, this is not natural. God is doing this. I can spend whole days and weeks not being able to say what I’ve been doing and not making any plans. And while I can’t say what I’ve been doing, everything is…well with me.

 

[dev553344]

It doesn’t feel like depression. I’m not unhappy, downcast or in distress. I’m a curiosity to myself in this. Like I’m looking at a weird bug and thinking why is this bug doing this…?

I'm not depressed either, I'm usually pretty happy inside. But I've also lost interest and motivation to do things. They gave me a depression questionnaire at the doctors office a while back, and I received them at my counselors office. The questions they ask are whether you've lost interest in things or lack motivation. Oh well, maybe it's not depression and something else that they have yet to identify? Maybe.

 

[dev553344]

But one thing we can be sure on... I haven't lost the motivation to drink coffee in the mornings

 

[stunnedbygrace]

I'm not depressed either, I'm usually pretty happy inside. But I've also lost interest and motivation to do things. They gave me a depression questionnaire at the doctors office a while back, and I received them at my counselors office. The questions they ask are whether you've lost interest in things or lack motivation. Oh well, maybe it's not depression and something else that they have yet to identify? Maybe.

hmm…I think that they think lack of motivation to do or acquire HAS to be depression, like…why won’t the hamster jump back on his wheel and busy himself? Maybe the hamster realized he wasn’t going anywhere important and it was just vanity!