is doing sexual things with a boyfriend/girlfriend sin...
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Grailhunter
Well-Known Member
I hope that any who really loves God will hold back going 'all the way' prior to marriage. For lesser involvements I really believe that it will vary from person to person and from couple to couple. God can judge you and you may be able to judge yourself, but anyone else can only offer advice, which you may need to ignore.
Some people and some church groups lay down black and white rules on such things and then insist on a "my way or the highway" type of enforcement. If you really want to stay friends with such a person avoid that kind of conversation. If it is a church and you want to retain your connection you should consider carefully and prayerfully what to do next...
I can speak on these things for myself, but I understand that not everyone is where I am. For one thing I have been happily married to the same woman for many years [49 next month]. Dates with anyone else have been out of the picture for me for that many years.
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I wouldn't accept anyone who doesn't hold back sex prior to marriage, but that wasn't the question; however, thanks
Levity. It's what I do.
... "I usually leave the room and watch the fur fly"
Finding a gif of fur flying ain't easy let me tell ya.
And just because this is so cute. And on topic, re: the fur part anyway.
Baby human and baby dogs. What's not to go, awwwwwwww, over?
Hidden In Him
Well-Known Member
From most common to least: Prostitution, sex outside marriage, practicing idolatry via sex, adultery, and sodomy.
That would be my advice, not just for religious reasons but for the ones @FluffyYellowDuck brought up in an earlier post. When you are sure you have the right one, you want to marry. When you are unsure it means you sense there's something wrong and there likely is, and starting into a sexual relationship even though there is can be a recipe for disaster. Before you know it, you can be locked into a serious relationship with someone you were never meant to be with, and marriages are tough enough sometimes even when you're with the right person.
Hidden In Him
Well-Known Member
That's the nice thing about sexuality.
It's great and all, but eventually you hit that age where you'd just as soon have a BLT.
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TheslightestID
Active Member
Hidden In Him
Well-Known Member
Bacon Lettuce and Tomato sandwich.
Whenever my wife tastes something she really likes, she'll say, "This is better than sex." We have this way of getting in little jabs at each other, but I understand her point. Sex gets to be more work than what it's worth sometimes by the time you're hitting sixty, but a sandwich just sits there and smiles at you, and says, "Anytime you want me, big boy, I'm right here."
CadyandZoe
Well-Known Member
Some will tell you that touching a girlfriend/boyfriend is a sin. But do they say why? I was thinking about doing a video on human touch. In the meantime, consider that human beings not only communicate with their words, we communicate with our touch. I'll list a few examples.
What is being communicated by the following incidents?
- Two men are at a business meeting and they both stand up to shake hands.
- A father pats his son on the back
- Mother touches noses with her baby
- Two friends hug each other after a long time of separation
- A coach puts his arm around a player that is feeling defeated.
- A woman slaps a man on the face.
- An elderly couple, walking in the park holding hands.
- Two people give each other the high-five.
- A women, seeing her lover after many days absent, touches his face with her hands.
This is just a small sample of the ways in which we communicate with our hands, with our touch. And just as we can use our words to communicate truth or lies; we can communicate truth or lies with our touch.
Consequently, when a boy takes the hand of a girl, he is communicating an idea. The act itself is morally neutral. The question is only whether the boy is speaking truth or lies with his touch. They walk hand in hand at school, and the question is, are they communicating truth or lies? A boy kisses his girlfriend on the lips, do his lips tell a truth or a lie? He might hug his girlfriend; does his touch bear the truth of a man committed to her care or a boy's lust?
Human touch is never wrong as such. Human touch communicates ideas and ideas can either be true or false.
@thelord's_pearl. Your question is focused on the cultural expectation of the people group you are living in.
However, in saying that, the scriptures do give guidance as to what is appropriate behaviour from a relational perspective.
Now with respect to your interactions with a boyfriend or a girl friend, the boundaries you exercise in those relationship should be clear and not create a conflicting message. Now the sticking of one's tongue down the other person's throat, may give a thrill to the person doing it, but will it give the wrong message as to what is desired to the other person in the respective interactions between the two people involved.
Now your question is complex and within your culture, the answers may be very different to answer that would be appropriate within another culture.
Now, Paul in his letters suggested that it was not appropriate for a "Christian" person to participate in the pagan practices at the temples where temple prostitutes were available to satisfy their needs as he suggested that being involved in this practice was not good for their souls.
The question that you have to answer for yourself, is what is good for my soul in my relationship with God and does that allow me to be involved in sexual behaviour that is not good for you as a person.
I cannot tell you what is best for yourself. However, I can advise you to consider carefully what it is that you want from your relationship with God and then with the other people around you as your choices will have an impact on your relationship with God and with the people around you.
Shalom
However, in saying that, the scriptures do give guidance as to what is appropriate behaviour from a relational perspective.
Now with respect to your interactions with a boyfriend or a girl friend, the boundaries you exercise in those relationship should be clear and not create a conflicting message. Now the sticking of one's tongue down the other person's throat, may give a thrill to the person doing it, but will it give the wrong message as to what is desired to the other person in the respective interactions between the two people involved.
Now your question is complex and within your culture, the answers may be very different to answer that would be appropriate within another culture.
Now, Paul in his letters suggested that it was not appropriate for a "Christian" person to participate in the pagan practices at the temples where temple prostitutes were available to satisfy their needs as he suggested that being involved in this practice was not good for their souls.
The question that you have to answer for yourself, is what is good for my soul in my relationship with God and does that allow me to be involved in sexual behaviour that is not good for you as a person.
I cannot tell you what is best for yourself. However, I can advise you to consider carefully what it is that you want from your relationship with God and then with the other people around you as your choices will have an impact on your relationship with God and with the people around you.
Shalom
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Michael1985
Active Member
No. If one does go so far as actually having sex, the couple must marry ASAP, and failure to do so at that point would be fornication.
You are being judgemental in your hard nosed response. The consequences of having had sex, will always be there, but to insist that the respective people must marry may not be the best outcome for either party in every circumstance. The respective people must decide how they move forward based on all of the circumstances and characteristics of the two people involved. The decision requires more evidence than just having performed the sex act. Getting married without both love and respect for each other is a stumbling block for any marriage.
Shalom
Michael1985
Active Member
I'm sorry, but I don't interpret Deuteronomy 22:28-29 any other way.
Grailhunter
Well-Known Member
Well ya know the neat thing about that, it is one of the 613 Mosaic Laws...but we are not Jews.
And our women are not property, not our daughters and not our wives.
Michael1985
Active Member
You and I have a very different understanding of Scripture, and that is fair enough.
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