is doing sexual things with a boyfriend/girlfriend sin...

[Grailhunter]

Interesting, thank you.

I appreciate that.


5 day old burrito! Knew it tasted funny.

I am off to bed now. Getting much worse with the throwing up and the chills/shaking.

Get well!

 

[Grailhunter]

I don't know anyone who hasn't made out w/ their boyfriend, is there anyone on this forum who would be the first one I hear of? I'm not condoning this, I really am confused about what to think about it.

Most are given so much bad advice and disinformation....it comes from every angle and especially as children you can get some weird stuff.
Don't touch that thing! It will make you go blind! LOL
The truth is always the better way.
If Satan lives in your couch, why are we so worried about whatz under the bed? LOL
One of the Early Church Fathers, Origen cut his member off because he thought it was tempting him. Ouch!
We do not live in the past, but the past can give us some wisdom.

God created everything. Be fruitful and multiply...how many Christians believe that God did not say that while Adam and Eve were still in Eden...Garden of Eden better translated as Paradise of Delights. Paradise was east of Eden, not called Eden.

Then God said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This is the process that forms a marriage and would be the point of consummation of marriage for Jews and Christians until the Middle Ages.

Proverbs 5:18-19
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Guess what fountain means?

God created the process…if He would not have put it in the minds of men to have the desire to see and touch the twin firm roundnesses….would men have ever grown up or the human race survive? Would us menz, just sat on the river banks and drank wine and fished? LOL There are discussions that theorize that no part of civilization would have survived without sex drives…much less humanity itself.

This was all God. From the image of what we see. What we are attracted to. To the desire to caresses and make love, to produce life and have a family. To have and to hold….

But ya know, there are similarities with animals and we are not animals.

And that is the point…the difference is love and respect. What do we teach our young men and women? What is love without respect? Respect for ourselves and respect for the person that we love. Respect for the process, because it is a very powerful process! Just doing it because it is exciting and feels good, is playing with fire. Very irresponsible. Hen pecks and hugs…and snuggle on the couch while watching a good show and eating popcorn! Leave it at that until you decide that you want the relationship to be permanent.

Desire is a very powerful emotion and experience and it can be as intoxicating as the finest wine. For those that are dating that is the thing to consider. Once you start it rolling, how hard is it to stop?

Is there any benefit in turning the person we care for into a whore or a whore monger. Is that a respectful relationship? Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous…. Most will say this is referring to married people only, because they think people were having weddings in that time period, not the case. This verse is referring to both…the act of joining to form a marriage as well as the on going relationship.

When the time comes to join with the person you love…let it be done with honor, love, and respect. Think of it this way…you are making a lifelong memory…make one you can reflect on with joy. There is no sin in joining so do not let that tarnish your moment or memory. Then again there is nothing wrong with waiting until after the wedding ceremony.

There is no sin in making love before you are wedded, but you are married by that act of love making…biblically speaking. Then in our culture the respectful thing to do is to have a wedding to celebrate your union. Respectfully and with love is how Christians should conduct themselves in relationships….from the moment they lay eyes on each other to the moment that they cut the cake.

If you do what is right….there is no dirty, nasty, and sinful in any part of this.

 

[GracePeace]

Most are given so much bad advice and disinformation....it comes from every angle and especially as children you can get some weird stuff.
Don't touch that thing! It will make you go blind! LOL
The truth is always the better way.
If Satan lives in your couch, why are we so worried about whatz under the bed? LOL
One of the Early Church Fathers, Origen cut his member off because he thought it was tempting him. Ouch!
We do not live in the past, but the past can give us some wisdom.

God created everything. Be fruitful and multiply...how many Christians believe that God did not say that while Adam and Eve were still in Eden...Garden of Eden better translated as Paradise of Delights. Paradise was east of Eden, not called Eden.

Then God said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This is the process that forms a marriage and would be the point of consummation of marriage for Jews and Christians until the Middle Ages.

Proverbs 5:18-19
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Guess what fountain means?

God created the process…if He would not have put it in the minds of men to have the desire to see and touch the twin firm roundnesses….would men have ever grown up or the human race survive? Would us menz, just sat on the river banks and drank wine and fished? LOL There are discussions that theorize that no part of civilization would have survived without sex drives…much less humanity itself.

This was all God. From the image of what we see. What we are attracted to. To the desire to caresses and make love, to produce life and have a family. To have and to hold….

But ya know, there are similarities with animals and we are not animals.

And that is the point…the difference is love and respect. What do we teach our young men and women? What is love without respect? Respect for ourselves and respect for the person that we love. Respect for the process, because it is a very powerful process! Just doing it because it is exciting and feels good, is playing with fire. Very irresponsible. Hen pecks and hugs…and snuggle on the couch while watching a good show and eating popcorn! Leave it at that until you decide that you want the relationship to be permanent.

Desire is a very powerful emotion and experience and it can be as intoxicating as the finest wine. For those that are dating that is the thing to consider. Once you start it rolling, how hard is it to stop?

Is there any benefit in turning the person we care for into a whore or a whore monger. Is that a respectful relationship? Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous…. Most will say this is referring to married people only, because they think people were having weddings in that time period, not the case. This verse is referring to both…the act of joining to form a marriage as well as the on going relationship.

When the time comes to join with the person you love…let it be done with honor, love, and respect. Think of it this way…you are making a lifelong memory…make one you can reflect on with joy. There is no sin in joining so do not let that tarnish your moment or memory. Then again there is nothing wrong with waiting until after the wedding ceremony.

There is no sin in making love before you are wedded, but you are married by that act of love making…biblically speaking. Then in our culture the respectful thing to do is to have a wedding to celebrate your union. Respectfully and with love is how Christians should conduct themselves in relationships….from the moment they lay eyes on each other to the moment that they cut the cake.

If you do what is right….there is no dirty, nasty, and sinful in any part of this.

You are giving this person bad advice.

They post so much about lust. Do they need someone saying pre-marital sex is not a sin and having sex is itself marriage?
No.
First of all, if sex were marriage there would be no fornication. Am I missing something?

@thelord's_pearl Every post you make is about lust. Find a serious Christian (has a job, is known for his humility and respectfulness, knows God, etc), make a commitment and settle down. It's not rocket science. Do not cuddle with them before you are married. I don't mean a multiple thousand dollar ceremony that will saddle you with debt, necessarily, but get a commitment--and because "the flesh is weak", you DO NOT want to think "sex is marriage", because the guy could decide to leave when things get tough. You need a way of nailing him down and holding him to his word. You want something legally binding. Yes that is a "custom" here but God sometimes deals with us according to our customs. When God said "a man should not dress like a woman" what did that mean? Those Jews were scattered all over, and each culture had a different norm. It's not just the act, then, but the intention behind it, which is determined by the contextual (cultural) understanding and norm, that makes it right or wrong. And if you're visiting there you may or may not adhere to that norm. I'm not saying we determine the Bible locally. The Bible determines the Bible--but it IS applied locally according to OUR NORMS. As much as we can we should not be doing anything unseemly that brings reproach to God *in our cultural context*. Do it in an orderly fashion. Recognize how fickle people can be and get a commitment that is a commitment WHERE YOU ARE. It's unwise in this culture to say "sex is marriage" . Can you imagine?
Lady : "I want to wait until we're married."
Guy : "It's OK, sex is marriage. I love you. I'll never leave you. Marry me."
Lady : "Well I guess you're right."
Next day the guy leaves the woman.
Lady : "I thought you said we were married?"
The guy doesn't care he just said those things to get you in bed. He's moving on.

Don't play games. Get something tangible, something that he can't just walk away from because "No one will know." or what ever. He has to be able to be held to account. He has to know it costs him something. In the Bible, did Jacob just walk up and bed Rachel and say "sex is marriage"? No. He had to work for her. He had to work 7 years. He had to pay a price. Men pay dowries. What price is this guy paying? Without paying a price he is apt to up and walk. He hasn't got skin in the game. THAT'S "Biblical". THAT'S realistic. THAT'S practical. THAT'S godly.

"Sex is marriage"? Someone's going to get hurt. Sex consummates a marriage. The marriage is between minds and spirits not just bodies. Are you just a body? What is a marriage on a mental level? On a spiritual? What safeguards are in place? What institutions? Who are you accountable to? Don't be foolish. Don't be irresponsible. Don't invite disaster.

 

[Grailhunter]

They post so much about lust. Do they need someone saying pre-marital sex is not a sin and having sex is itself marriage?

Again, can you read? Go to your Bible and find a verse...anywhere that says you should have a wedding ceremony.
You have to have sex...to be married. No such thing as premarital sex.
That is how it was done, all through the Bible.
And fornication is a made up Latin word.
False beliefs on this stuff has been going on for centuries.

 

[GracePeace]

Again, can you read? Go to your Bible and find a verse...anywhere that says you should have a wedding ceremony.
You have to have sex...to be married. No such thing as premarital sex.
That is how it was done, all through the Bible.
And fornication is a made up Latin word.
False beliefs on this stuff has been going on for centuries.

No such thing as fornication then got it!

 

[thelord's_pearl]

Why are people talking about sex? I was talking about touching, not sex

 

[Grailhunter]

No such thing as fornication then got it!

This is a topic that takes a little study.
Christianity (Catholic) up to the time of the Protestant reform considered getting married a sin.
Considered marital sex, a sin.
You have to look into the history of this stuff.

 

[Grailhunter]

Why are people talking about sex? I was talking about touching, not sex

Kool....shake hands.

 

[thelord's_pearl]

And why is it that when I mentioned how I haven't met anyone who hasn't made out with their boyfriend prior to marriage, no one said "I did!" it's hypocriticial, isn't it? do you suppose the real answer is, you can do so but with boundaries? rather than being hypocritical of saying you can't when YOU didn't either!

 

[thelord's_pearl]

I don't really care, just a question

 

[DuckieLady]

And why is it that when I mentioned how I haven't met anyone who hasn't made out with their boyfriend prior to marriage, no one said "I did!" it's hypocriticial, isn't it? do you suppose the real answer is, you can do so but with boundaries? rather than being hypocritical of saying you can't when YOU didn't either!

I did, @thelord's_pearl. It didn't start off that way, but I got saved in the middle of it and not before- and I was in a position where just leaving wasn't an option because of cohabitation. And things weren't healthy. Sometimes dangerous.

When I decided I wanted God's plans and not mine, I cut it off with discipline to be faithful way ahead of marriage.

I had to put up with a lot of resentment and being hated. You would not have to go through what I did. I was dealing with the consequences of of my sins. The Lord is faithful and forgives, but sometimes sins have real life consequences. God's instructions are for our protection.

I don't believe you'll go to hell for making out with someone. It's just that it will usually lead to something else and put you in a position, so it's better to wait.

But I trust that when you're seeking the Lord with all your heart and strive for his glory, he will renew you and build you up in due time- if we can practice endurance and be patient in our present suffering.

 

[thelord's_pearl]

Thank you @FluffyYellowDuck, I'm able to be patient so God will have someone for me who will be able to as well

 

[Grailhunter]

And why is it that when I mentioned how I haven't met anyone who hasn't made out with their boyfriend prior to marriage, no one said "I did!" it's hypocriticial, isn't it? do you suppose the real answer is, you can do so but with boundaries? rather than being hypocritical of saying you can't when YOU didn't either!

I get what you are saying.
Most have made out. In my youth I made out with girls.
If you are asking the question on a Christian forum that is the sort of response you are going to get.
Told you from the git go...

 

[DuckieLady]

Thank you @FluffyYellowDuck, I'm able to be patient so God will have someone for me who will be able to as well

I used to be really, really into all of that love stuff. Lol Overdone, really.

I was very desperate to love a man and to be loved. Big narcissistic attention seeker. The idea of a soul mate took up my whole world. I made a lot of mistakes trying to find him and rushed into things. I lived in a fantasy world for "the one."

But like I had spoken to someone about earlier, I was the woman at the well, seeking unfulfilling love in the wrong places. Thirsty, and then thirsty again. I didn't have the living water.

I've reached a point in my life where I don't really need a man's love, because I already have it - through Christ! And I might more so want to be by myself for a while. Less stress.

I don't think that you are like I was, but the point is, while you are waiting keep seeking Jesus Christ and his water. You will never go dry and better yet, you'll be overflowing with more to give when you are blessed.

You won't feel the need to take, because you'll already have so much to pour out.

 

[Ronald Nolette]

I disagree with this very much and I think it's also a dangerous interpretation. You tell this to people and couples living in sin will continue to live in sin because they are convinced they are basically already married. They are not. And because marriage is not held honorably, it will not be taken seriously when one person flakes out, and they will continue to repeat this process with other people over and over again. This is common in our culture today. Will you judge people coming together outside of marriage if you believe they are now married?

I am with @Michael1985 that I believe a couple who comes together must marry, but scripture says the man can do what he wants with the virgin, but that they should marry.

"If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married."
​

He does not say that they are married, but that they should. I will say this though, it makes sense that the church would put this in order to prevent adultery before marriage.

And honestly, in our flake out culture today, the person in question would have to ask themselves, can you really depend on and trust the person that you're dealing with? Or will they leave you high and dry after you've given yourself away to them? Lots of people will say lots of things to get what they want without consideration for the other person.

It is better to wait until after marriage, because love blinds a person but the reality is you can't always trust a person and you can end up heartbroken. Not that marriage will always prevent that either.

I think you were taking a hypothetical agreement with the one I was writing to as where I stand, which I don't. But biblically a couople only becomes married when they consummate the marriage. The ceremony makes the consummation legal, but it is the act of marriage (becoming one flesh) that actually marries the person. I believe in obeying the authorities concerning marriage because of Romans 13. A ceremony can be simple or ornate. Can be a simple OT Father fetching a bride for his son and the brides Farther agreeing or the ceremonies in most of the world today. Teh ceremony is a poublic recognition that couple wishes to be one, and will cleave to one another.

 

[GracePeace]

Why are people talking about sex? I was talking about touching, not sex

Under Moses's Law we'd be put to death for that. The marriage bed is undefiled but God will judge immoral people.

 

[lilygrace]

And why is it that when I mentioned how I haven't met anyone who hasn't made out with their boyfriend prior to marriage, no one said "I did!" it's hypocriticial, isn't it? do you suppose the real answer is, you can do so but with boundaries? rather than being hypocritical of saying you can't when YOU didn't either!

i honestly wish i couold say that....
and im not making that up. ive talked about my experiences. people thought i meant merely a peck or a side hug. i have not.

 

[lilygrace]

Why are people talking about sex? I was talking about touching, not sex

because touching can lead to different forms of sex if no one stopped at some point...

 

[Emily Nghiem]

or fornication?

If the two people are not each other's spiritual husband and wife, they are coveting the spiritual husband/wife of someone else.

This is against the Commandment against Coveting the wife or anything of a neighbor's.

If you are committing adultery "in your heart" that is in spirit violating the Commandment against adultery, by Jesus teaching lust in the heart is already committing adultery.

The other sins follow from those two, whether these qualify as fornication, or other sex between people who are not each other's spiritually yoked partners. The issue of LGBT also falls under the question of whether these are the spiritually yoked partners God created to be one, or if people are coveting or lusting the partners of other people which is unnatural and not healthy spiritual relations, regardless of gender.

 

[BARNEY BRIGHT]

or fornication?

Fornication includes all forms of sexual immorality. This includes two single people being sexually active with each other out of wedlock. Sexually active includes oral sex and fondling each other. Oral sex isn't approved of even in the marriage arrangement. The scriptures have never approved of sex between men and women unless they were married to each other.