Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?

[Ferris Bueller]

So if the husband actually leaves his wife, over and over ....into the hands of abusers ....would you see this as a man leaving his wife?

Physical abandonment is Biblical grounds for divorce.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

And this is the big issue that the OP has to think about. Marriage is hardly a guarantee of sex. You have to marry knowing it may be one of those wants and desires you have to forgo, which defeats the reason for getting married, if that was the reason why you got married.

And I already stated that I would not marry just for attempting to calm my desires.

Sexless marriages are not a rare thing either (most of which are not actually sexless, BUT marital sexless).

 

[Mink57]

And this is the big issue that the OP has to think about. Marriage is hardly a guarantee of sex. You have to marry knowing it may be one of those wants and desires you have to forgo, which defeats the reason for getting married, if that was the reason why you got married.

SCORE! You and I agree!

 

[Mink57]

And I already stated that I would not marry just for attempting to calm my desires.

Sexless marriages are not a rare thing either (most of which are not actually sexless, BUT marital sexless).

But you started your OP by saying that because of your hormones, you've been tempted to get into a relationship.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

But you started your OP by saying that because of your hormones, you've been tempted to get into a relationship.

Yes, but I will not to let them get me into something worse.

Having them and being led by them are two different things.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

I understand loneliness.
I understand sexual desire.

However, if you are not willing to take on the humility, the honesty, the forgiveness, the self-abnegation, the submission, the servant-mindset required of a man to make a marriage work, you're better off pleasuring yourself. Seriously. You'll save years of heartbreak and a ton of legal fees.

Apart from the matter of masturbation, I agree with this.
Masturbation is one of those topics that you can't offer an opinion about one way or the other without that opinion, whatever it is, influencing someone by that opinion. It must be left entirely up to the person to discern between them and God. See, just by saying, "oh, I believe this about it, but you have to make your own mind up about it" invariably makes you, right or wrong, a part of their decision process. It just does.

But anyway, marriage is essentially death of self. That includes the matter of your sexual desire. You have to understand this ahead of time or you're headed for disaster.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

Apart from the matter of masturbation, I agree with this.
Masturbation is one of those topics that you can't offer an opinion about one way or the other without that opinion, whatever it is, influencing someone by that opinion. It must be left entirely up to the person to discern between them and God. See, just by saying, "oh, I believe this about it, but you have to make your own mind up about it" invariably makes you a part of their decision process. It just does.

But anyway, marriage is essentially death of self. That includes the matter of your sexual desire. You have to understand this ahead of time or you're headed for disaster.

Masturbation is essentially fornication with oneself, which then can also fall under the sin of pride.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Yes, but I will not to let them get me into something worse.

Having them and being led by them are two different things.

I will say you seem wise beyond your years.
I got married when I was 19 years old, my wife 18. I knew NOTHING about human relationships and marriage. NOTHING. But God used my natural desire for marriage and sex to teach me.

The valuable lesson marriage has taught me will go with me to the kingdom. The damage my ignorance caused will dissolve with this miserable creation.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

I will say you seem wise beyond your years.
I got married when I was 19 years old, my wife 18. I knew NOTHING about human relationships and marriage. NOTHING. But God used my natural desire to teach me.

Ah, and I forgot, very good job for you and your wife!

Hope you reach a happy anniversary!

 

[Michiah-Imla]

The problem is that most (including myself) can't gain full control of their desires.

Then in your (our) case, marriage is better than to burn with desire. But trouble definitely comes with the package. I’ve endured much trouble in marriage. But:

“we glory in tribulations…: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;” (Romans 5:3)

 

[Lambano]

Masturbation is essentially fornication with oneself, which then can also fall under the sin of pride.

"Masturbation is making love with the person you love most."
(Anonymous graffito from the wall of some unremembered public loo.)

 

[Michiah-Imla]

179

Then women wouldn't even exist.

We are loooong past the garden of Eden…

Discern the times we’re in along with Paul’s godly advice in his first epistle to the Corinthians.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

Then in your (our) case, marriage is better than to burn with desire. But trouble definitely comes with the package. I’ve endured much trouble in marriage. But:

“we glory in tribulations…: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;” (Romans 5:3)

Yes. I was just thinking of getting married as a way to become a better person and learn new things that I may miss otherwise.

Because singledom seems to make me really lazy.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Physical abandonment is Biblical grounds for divorce.

Thank you. What are your thoughts on my post prior to that?

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Emotionally? How about spiritually? How about that the spouse lied about his idea of what a marriage is supposed to be, even though they discussed it?

If the marriage isn't a "marriage" in the first place, then you're not 'leaving' a 'marriage'...

Marriage is not defined by emotions or spirituality. And so you can not dissolve a marriage on those grounds. If you could then everyone can divorce their spouses.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Yes. I was just thinking of getting married as a way to become a better person and learn new things that I may miss otherwise.

Because singledom seems to make me really lazy.

I can't argue with this. The demands of marriage have made me a better person. No question about it. But without forgiveness it doesn't do anything for the marriage.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

"Masturbation is making love with the person you love most."
(Anonymous graffito from the wall of some unremembered public loo.)

Yes, that exactly. Pride.

 

[Lambano]

Yes. I was just thinking of getting married as a way to become a better person and learn new things that I may miss otherwise.

Because singledom seems to make me really lazy.

Marriage is just a personal growth opportunity?

 

[Mink57]

Marriage is not defined by emotions or spirituality. And so you can not dissolve a marriage on those grounds. If you could then everyone can divorce their spouses.

Oh? Then how is it defined? BIBLICALLY, if you can...

 

[ShyIntrovert]

Marriage is just a personal growth opportunity?

No, just one of the many parts of it.