I might be able to help a bit with this paradox. There is a difference between literal and spiritual truth. We are to count/reckon ourselves to be dead to sin and crucified with Christ. BUT, just as the spirit of the prophets is subject to the prophets, ie, they can choose to yield to the flow of the Holy Spirit or not (depending on whether the circumstance is appropriate to speak or not, or whether it's their turn to speak or not etc), in much the same way we can choose to yield to the Holy Spirt or not, and either yield to the Spirit and not sin, or not yield to the Spirit and sin.
To me it seems the key issue is being baptized into Christ, not water, but spiritual baptism. We are immersed into Christ Himself, so that we share His death and burial. And in so doing, our old man is crucified, and we are dead.
And they say, But we don't appear dead! Therefore we must not really be dead.
On the one hand, there is a huge disagreement over what "death" should mean, whether inactive, or separated. But even before we get to that, maybe even helping us to define that question, is this.
Do we believe the sayings of Scripture? And what does it mean to be baptized into Christ? How is that accomplished?
IF we believe that we are baptized into Christ, then we should likewise believe we are dead to sin. Having accepted that as truth, we go on to learn what that really means, to be dead to sin. And we are able to walk in that truth, because it's truth that sets us free.
Much love!