Once I asked God about something that puzzled me. I said Lord, the Bible always talks about the right arm of the Lord, the arm of the Lord is exalted and so forth. Why doesn't it mention your left hand or arm?
With characteristic humor mixed with wisdom He replied "I've never found anything so difficult that it would require me use the other hand". I laughed but He was referencing His immeasurable power. Yet he throttles it down to touch us in the gentlest of ways.
Once on a summer morn I had arisen at daylight to cut winter wood before the heat of the day grew too oppressive. As I rested from my labors sitting against a felled tree, I watched as a monarch butterfly floated silently by me only a few feet away. It's beauty and silence were synonymous. As I watched it zigzaging away the Lord spoke: "compared to my Holy Spirit that butterfly is vicious".
I tried to grasp the worst violence a butterfly could commit. Such gentleness is beyond our comprehension. God never uses more force upon us than required. Though we are sons, daughters yet we too must learn obedience through the things we suffer. Our suffering many times is when we ignorantly kick against the goads He has set.
If my son listened to my counsel then well. But after repeated attempts to change something in his life by counsel fail, then a blow. If we learn to yield quickly we save ourselves much grief. Learning to recognize when He is doing something in us is the key. Depending on how quickly we recognize His hand we can avoid many repeated lessons. The length of time required to discern His moves varies with each of us. The astute learn quickly while the stubborn, the undisciplined will take longer.
For my own self I can say I was dumb as a post in many areas and quick in others. The hard lessons I learned were due to my own lack of discernment. Not understanding what He wanted me to do. When I finally learned this He didn't have to show me again! I'm certain you can relate to at least some of this. Thank God for the Scriptures;
Hebrews 12:7 KJVS
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
AND....
2 Peter 3:15 KJVS
And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;
Mainly I don't concern myself anymore with how good I'm doing at becoming conformed to His image. Oh I care greatly, but have learned He will bring me by the way that He has made just for me. He has made a way just for you and will bring you along as He sees fit as you yield yourself to Him.
Isaiah 42:16 KJVS
And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6 NASB
Thank God that He is, STILL dealing with you. Teaching, comforting, rebuking, leading, chastising even scourging, wounding and binding up. He is dealing with us as sons. You don't put that effort into strangers.