Paul longed with a painful longing . . . hm. Sounds like your words but not Paul's. I recall him saying he didn't know which he'd choose.
Leaving is better for me, in a way. Staying is better for my wife, so I can care for here. Staying is better for my church, so I may yet be able to add to their faith. Staying may be better for others, who may yet come to know Christ through me. God willing!
And if these things be so, then staying will have been actually better for me. I have all eternity to enjoy Jesus, but I have just this life to build up treasure, and increase glory. Those things come from serving, which is done here.
I don't know what is to come, but God does, so I can trust that He knows best.
Phillipians 1:21-26 "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better: Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you. And having this confidence, I know that I shall abide and continue with you all for your furtherance and joy of faith; That your rejoicing may be more abundant in Jesus Christ for me by my coming to you again.
According to this passage the reason for Paul remaining was not the keeping of a law to which he wrote he was dead, instead, his reason was "for your furtherance and joy of faith". That is, that their trust would increase, bringing joy.
Much love!