As I mentioned, I received a visitation from God fourteen years ago. I was saved by a true miracle on Christmas Eve, 1970. Having been a porn addict since I was an early teen, and then finally saved 21, I had high hopes that my addiction would be a thing of the past. I was wrong. For the next 3 and a half decades, I was the poster boy for Romans 7. I hated my sin. I loved my sin.
Oh, I did not go down swinging. I tried everything I knew to finally walk as I knew deep inside a God wanted me to. I prayed, I fasted, I memorized large portions of the Word. I became a home pastor in my large Charismatic church. But in the end, my undefeated addiction just left me angry, judgmental, legalistic, disillusioned and tired of life. And dog tired of failing the God who loved me.
One night, I reached my end. I literally had nothing else that I knew of to try, to hope for, that would perhaps lead me to the ‘free indeed’ I saw so clearly promised in His Word. In tears and desperation, I cried out to God, not knowing what else to do. I had no more answers, no more new things to try, no more resolutions to make, no more leaves to turn over. And then it happened. God appeared to me. Yes, visibly.
LOL, I can see the eye-rolls now. And before any asks what He looked like, let me say this. I haven’t a clue. His golden light, brighter than the sun, put me on my face. I dared not look up. And then He spoke. Yes, audibly.
He said:
“My son, for this I am well pleased with you.”
Confused? LOL. Yeah, me too. For 38 years, I had tried desperately to feel like God not only loved me but was pleased with me as well. But no matter what Paul told us in Romans 8 that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, it was almost all I ever felt. Guilt, failure and condemnation. If I gave, even out of my lack, I should have given more. If I read ten chapters in the Word, it should have been twenty. Even mowing my own lawn made me feel like I was taking care of my kingdom, not His. Can you say ‘miserable’? That was me.
And now, at my lowest point of failure, admitting my powerlessness and hating my life, now He comes and tells me He was pleased with me? Now?? It made no sense, none, until the next words He spoke....
“I knew all along that you could not walk the walk I had for you, but you did not yetknow it.”
Did you catch that key word….
yet?
You see, I finally knew it. I had finally, after almost four decades of trying to die to my sin-loving self, been brought to the point I had NO confidence in the flesh that was my prison. It was inescapable.
But the Lord did not stop there. He continued, asking me a question....
“In all your efforts to walk pleasing to me, did you ever do as I instructed you to do through my servant Paul?”
My mind reeled, wondering what He was referring to. But then, in an instant, He simply took my blinders off and let me see what He was talking about. The key to my cell door swinging open was found in Romans 6. And as I opened my Bible, I sat dumbfounded at the secret, the key to my being able to walk as an overcomer that had been hiding from me all those years, all while it was in plain sight.
Here in Romans 6, Paul tells us that there are two truths we must know.
1) When Christ died, so DID we.
2) When Christ rose from the dead, so DID we.
I can hear them now. “That’s it?? That’s the secret?” LOL. Not yet. What did Paul tell us next? What was the instruction he asked of us concerning these two truths that were etched in the jeweled stone foundations of Heaven?
Likewise (in the same way)
reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin:
but yield yourselves unto God,
as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
Romans 6:10-13
I pray your ears are open. Do you see it?? He gave us instructions…. Something to DO. Our God tells us…. Hear this truth, embrace it as YOUR truth, do not let go of it, and I promise you, your walk will never be the same, for this is the path to FREE INDEED.
You see, I had memorized these verses. I knew Romans 6-8 were profound chapters and had to hold the secret to victory that I had long sought. But..... never, not once..... had I actually done what those words from the Lord had been telling me to DO. I had never reckoned that those two truths were MY truths.... this very moment. I had never appropriated the victory He had bought for us as MY victory. I always hoped for those results, but hope is not faith. Faith calls those things that are not as though they are. Faith, real genuine faith, must always be NOW faith.
So what did I do? Through my tears, my awe, my joy, my shaking knees, I spoke. Out loud. LOUDLY out loud. I reckoned that the old me was dead. Not needing to die. Not dying daily. DEAD. I reckoned that I was a brand new creature with a brand new heart, a heart that sin had no authority over. I died to sin once...ONCE.... just as God had instructed us.
And having done so, praise God, I yielded myself to God, but this time I did it differently. Previously, I would try to give myself to God, but as the mess, the failure, the worm that I knew I was.
But that is not what God asked for, was it? He said that we are to, now, because of what Christ had accomplished for us, yield ourselves to God in faith, faith that what He said was true was true for US, right now, this very day. We are to yield ourselves
as those who are alive from the dead. Whoa. No more worm. Butterfly!
And when I did, something deep inside began bubbling up inside me. Joy. Freedom. God caused my faith that had laid there as an small but all-sufficient seed of God’s nature in me, to begin sprouting. Why? I had finally held up my shield of faith and, praise God, what I found was that satan’s arrows truly were extinguished. I tasted freedom that night for the first time, and it was.... and is.... glorious.
This is not sinless perfectionism of which I constantly share. It is truly the beginning of the sanctification process, not the end. I have far, far to go in my walk with the Lord. I pray the lack and weaknesses others still see in me do not hinder their belief that God can set them free as well. But I would be remiss if I did not also tell you that the changes that He has brought about in me stagger even my imagination as to what God has done by dwelling IN me by faith.
I have much more to share concerning the last fourteen years. I pray God allows me an opportunity to share with you what He continues to show me and to teach me. Thank you all for bearing with this long testimony.
Just know this. Your weakness, your inability to overcome sin.... they are actually a gift from God. I can hear you laughing, lol. But I am quite serious. Who is it that can believe such amazing things as I am sharing? The desperate man. The man who has no strength, and KNOWS IT. The man who has come to the point that he has NO confidence in the flesh. The one who has come to the blessed point that he HATES his life... his old nature that refuses to allow God full control.
What God has shown me He is now showing you through the words He asks me to speak. This walk of victory over the world and its endless pull, the flesh and its lusts and unbounded self-love, and the devil and his endless temptations and accusations, it is your birthright, already purchased, already given.
Your weakness is not the hinderance you have thought it was. It is your key to crossing over from the wilderness to the land of promise. You see, your awareness of your fallen nature and your absolute inability to ever overcome it are what make you perfectly fit to receive what God has for you. Glory!
Can our God be THAT good? Oh, yes dear brothers and sisters! Can He truly set us free indeed, despite our weakness, our past sins, our addictions? There is no doubt about it. Our God’s goodness is stronger than our badness and it is high time we get our eyes off of our insufficiency and onto His ability to turn those with no strength into overcomers, victorious over the world, the flesh and the devil himself.
God is about to do a work in our day that if our eyes did not see it, we would never believe it. He is going to separate the wheat from the tares, and prepare His own for our soon-coming wedding. Are you tired of going through the motions, feeling deep down you are missing something? Then buckle up, for God is about to blow your mind and fill your heart to overflowing with the joy of your FULL salvation.
Blessings to all.
Gideon
