I would like to chip in some thoughts. What Angelina says about things not being complicated is very true.
My mind goes to Ephesians 5 - the end verses, beginning from submitting to one another in the fear of God, v 20. This really is crunch time for whether we have understood the depth of damage done to both men and women by the Fall. Anything spiritually adverse to God's plan for mankind (in relationships) rides in on the coat-tails of 'the sin' which entered the world through Adam (Romans 5:12), and Paul addresses the two crucial issues for men and women in espousal and marriage, right there at the end of Ephesians 5.
All men have an 'unloving issue'. Unless they embrace the cross and lay down their lives for their loved one, they will not experience release from that mentality. Men know how to love themselves (!) but need to love other like
that. And if there is an additional spirit feeding off reasons that a person has to pamper themselves instead of their significant other, then again the answer is to take the ground away from it by doing the loving - by asking the Lord for healing, too, and asking Him to reveal wrong attitudes which cluster around selfish and fleshly interests, rather than God's.
The same applies to women - daughters of Eve - who - whether they like it or not, are prone to deception where men are not prone to deception (Men know exactly what they are doing when they choose to sin. They are not beguiled into it, in the same way that scripture states women are.) - where Paul exhorts wives to respect their husbands. Respect will enable a man to bond with a woman in a way which is completely foreign to Eve's mentality.
Despite these profound natural issues (which may give ground to spiritual issues), by the Holy Spirit there is abundant power to overcome, and walk in the Spirit in the natural relationship. Indeed, this is essential, whatever the resolution of needs for deliverance and healing.
If you do have 'a spirit of rejection', there is some testimony in a current thread from marksman,
here and
here and
here, and
here from Delivered.
In all cases of spiritual interference, fear of being free from it, and pride (which enables survival, despite spiritual interference) tend to have a part. The flesh and the mind of the flesh, have grown used to coping with the deficit in a certain personally unique way, and this acts as a blockage to the life of Christ flowing in these parts of a believer's life. As usual, the answer is at the cross, both for receiving the death of Christ, and the necessary healing in His resurrection life. If you and your boyfriend can consciously surrender the problematic areas of your own lives to the Lord, instead of looking (naturally and predictably) for answers from/in each other, the Lord will be able to unravel the rest. Yes, you may need prayer from others, but you will know as you persist in praying for both yourself and your boyfriend, whether you are breaking up fallow ground and making valuable spiritual headway, or, there is still something you don't understand about how to get free and stay free - which is when others in the body of Christ can help.
Last thought: no matter what one calls/names a problem, the inner man which desires freedom, is capable of being either immobilised in certain ways by the issue, as well as fighting against it. Be aware that an inner struggle may produce the appearance of the opposite problem, as the person seeks to overcome by natural means, instead of spiritual means (the help of the Holy Spirit). Sometimes though, the mouth expresses the heart truthfully, while the mind is in denial about what the mouth and lifestyle is declaring of the heart's abundance.
Therefore, start listening to the reasoning you are using when you argue. Start with hearing what is coming out of your own mouth. Now, repent of what is wrong. It is okay to be angry for a short while, but try to pinpoint your triggers so you can stop being undone by them. Deal with them, and receive healing from the Lord. And really be prepared for new attitudes and thoughts which you've never had before.
Paul Washer has a talk called 'Restoring Biblical Womanhood'. (He also has talks on Biblical manhood, and 'dating'.) They are tough listening, but he is speaking from experience! :huh: Find them on illbehonest.com, sermonaudio.com, (to which I have listened), and others on the Sermon Download section of the Heartcry
website Resources tab. Here is the section on
Family, Marriage and Courtship (from which I have not yet listened).
The Lord bless you abundantly as you seek His face.
