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demonic oppression in romantic relationships?

Discussion in 'Christian Spirituality Forum' started by beloved one, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. beloved one

    beloved one New Member

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    hello friends :)

    if anyone has insight on this please feel free to share!

    my boyfriend and i have been arguing a lot. recently i was told that i have rejection issues & he has an unloving issue (meaning, oppression i think.) sometimes we argue to a point where one of us gets so angry and then sins in our anger. we almost constantly dont understand each other & hurt each others feeling. it is draining because it is distracting me from god & joy. does anyone know what could be going on? weve been dating for almost a year. he has a prophetic gifting and an evangelist gifting & i have a pastoral gifting i was told and maybe intercessory.. i dont know, if that helps. just wanted to reach out and see if the lord shares anything with anyone on here regarding this. relationships while trying our hardest to follow god becomes so complicated and im discouraged.

    much thanks and bless you.
     
  2. Angelina

    Angelina Prayer Warrior Staff Member Admin

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    Hi Beloved!
    My I haven't heard from you for awhile ^_^ lovely to see you back even if it is for just answering the above...okay, where do you think your relationship is going to? I mean do you guys have a plan for the future or are you going to just kinda hang out till one of you decides they have had enough :huh:

    Bless ya!
     
  3. beloved one

    beloved one New Member

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    i know! its so nice to hear from you! i hadnt had internet access so i wasnt able to get on here regularly. well we both dont really want to be in a relationship unless its going to end in marriage. so were trying to work things out so that we can marry within a couple years. what do you think?
     
  4. Angelina

    Angelina Prayer Warrior Staff Member Admin

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    I'm so happy about that and a little relieved as well sweetie! ^_^ I'm not too sure what's going on here...perhaps it's just a guy /girl thing where understanding each other's point of view can be a little like "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus" have you heard that saying before? :huh: can you give a little more detail on the kind of arguments you are having or where you got the idea that you have rejection issues while his is about "unloving issues?
     
  5. beloved one

    beloved one New Member

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    its possible that it is just that. i have heard of that saying before. it is funny.

    well some friends who are gifted in deliverance who we met with the other day sensed that he had a spirit of unloving and i had a spirit of rejection. they also mentioned that those two spirits like to hang around each other and could be a reason we have so much trouble. we both are aware though that the enemy will try to tear apart any unity that is good. however we both did repent with the couple that day out loud and felt peace. i dont know much about the enemy and the spirits he used against us but i know that he doesnt like marriage and unity.

    we seem to be not on the same page a lot of the time. i cant tell if its a bad relationship and gods telling us to pull the plug, or if the enemy is messing things up and confusing us. i feel like god hasnt told me which one.


    * i dont know much about the enemy and the names of the spirits and how they work against us, other than that he is bad and evil and god has authority over him and only with god we have authority over him also
     
  6. Angelina

    Angelina Prayer Warrior Staff Member Admin

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    Sometimes things can come to the surface when certain situations appear. The unloving issue for instance may be something that has been learned through upbringing [if he has that issue]. He may have grown up with parents that were rather conservative and did not give out much affirmation or showed any outward sign of love or affection. This could be a hereditary thing or something more recent. It can be overcome with practice and learning how we are to love one another through Christ. We unpractice the things we have learned and practice what Jesus says in his word.

    The same kinda goes for you. If you think that you have a rejection spirit, it pays to do a little research and find the doorway. God can help you with that one. He showed me years ago about a situation as a child that caused me to have a rejection problem [which I did not know I had]. He revealed it one night in a dream. I woke up and immediately repented of any unforgiveness I may have harboured towards someone. This was not a physical thing but just words spoken to me as a child. It stopped the enemy in his tracks... ^_^

    I hope this helps...bless ya!


    PS: You might just need a little help working out why you are both always arguing. I would like to think that you are able to both discuss this with your Pastor or someone in your local Church that perhaps holds a leadership position, hopefully in the area of counseling or a Home Group or Youth Leader that you both trust... :) it may not be as big or a complicated as it looks
     
  7. dragonfly

    dragonfly Well-Known Member

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    I would like to chip in some thoughts. What Angelina says about things not being complicated is very true.

    My mind goes to Ephesians 5 - the end verses, beginning from submitting to one another in the fear of God, v 20. This really is crunch time for whether we have understood the depth of damage done to both men and women by the Fall. Anything spiritually adverse to God's plan for mankind (in relationships) rides in on the coat-tails of 'the sin' which entered the world through Adam (Romans 5:12), and Paul addresses the two crucial issues for men and women in espousal and marriage, right there at the end of Ephesians 5.

    All men have an 'unloving issue'. Unless they embrace the cross and lay down their lives for their loved one, they will not experience release from that mentality. Men know how to love themselves (!) but need to love other like that. And if there is an additional spirit feeding off reasons that a person has to pamper themselves instead of their significant other, then again the answer is to take the ground away from it by doing the loving - by asking the Lord for healing, too, and asking Him to reveal wrong attitudes which cluster around selfish and fleshly interests, rather than God's.

    The same applies to women - daughters of Eve - who - whether they like it or not, are prone to deception where men are not prone to deception (Men know exactly what they are doing when they choose to sin. They are not beguiled into it, in the same way that scripture states women are.) - where Paul exhorts wives to respect their husbands. Respect will enable a man to bond with a woman in a way which is completely foreign to Eve's mentality.

    Despite these profound natural issues (which may give ground to spiritual issues), by the Holy Spirit there is abundant power to overcome, and walk in the Spirit in the natural relationship. Indeed, this is essential, whatever the resolution of needs for deliverance and healing.

    If you do have 'a spirit of rejection', there is some testimony in a current thread from marksman, here and here and here, and here from Delivered.

    In all cases of spiritual interference, fear of being free from it, and pride (which enables survival, despite spiritual interference) tend to have a part. The flesh and the mind of the flesh, have grown used to coping with the deficit in a certain personally unique way, and this acts as a blockage to the life of Christ flowing in these parts of a believer's life. As usual, the answer is at the cross, both for receiving the death of Christ, and the necessary healing in His resurrection life. If you and your boyfriend can consciously surrender the problematic areas of your own lives to the Lord, instead of looking (naturally and predictably) for answers from/in each other, the Lord will be able to unravel the rest. Yes, you may need prayer from others, but you will know as you persist in praying for both yourself and your boyfriend, whether you are breaking up fallow ground and making valuable spiritual headway, or, there is still something you don't understand about how to get free and stay free - which is when others in the body of Christ can help.


    Last thought: no matter what one calls/names a problem, the inner man which desires freedom, is capable of being either immobilised in certain ways by the issue, as well as fighting against it. Be aware that an inner struggle may produce the appearance of the opposite problem, as the person seeks to overcome by natural means, instead of spiritual means (the help of the Holy Spirit). Sometimes though, the mouth expresses the heart truthfully, while the mind is in denial about what the mouth and lifestyle is declaring of the heart's abundance.

    Therefore, start listening to the reasoning you are using when you argue. Start with hearing what is coming out of your own mouth. Now, repent of what is wrong. It is okay to be angry for a short while, but try to pinpoint your triggers so you can stop being undone by them. Deal with them, and receive healing from the Lord. And really be prepared for new attitudes and thoughts which you've never had before.


    Paul Washer has a talk called 'Restoring Biblical Womanhood'. (He also has talks on Biblical manhood, and 'dating'.) They are tough listening, but he is speaking from experience! :huh: Find them on illbehonest.com, sermonaudio.com, (to which I have listened), and others on the Sermon Download section of the Heartcry website Resources tab. Here is the section on Family, Marriage and Courtship (from which I have not yet listened).

    The Lord bless you abundantly as you seek His face. :)
     
  8. whitestone

    whitestone New Member

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    Hi there. It hardly matters why. If you and him aren't flowing together in peace and harmony, then part friends and know it isn't to be. Not everybody is a match for you. If you want to do God's will perfectly, forget about worldly relationships that will only be a source of trouble anyway, and marry yourself to Jesus and you will be more than complete, without all the headaches :)
     
  9. beloved one

    beloved one New Member

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    thank you angelina, dragonfly, and whitestone. i appreciate and am thankful for all of your responses very much. i will be pondering all of this. MUCH thanks and blessings.
     
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