Ephesians 5-6 addresses issues related to roles in the home and society. The question I would like the address in this post is this: "Do these verses teach mutual submission?" This is a common misunderstanding of the verse, in my opinion. Generally, the argument is that verse 21 sets the tone for the rest of the section in the description of Christians "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." Thus, it is argued that the following examples, such as the husband and wife, are describing mutual submission and not the headship of the husband and submission of the wife. In my view, this teaching is not correct.
Verse 21 does set the stage for the rest of the teaching on these roles. However, it is important to understand that the term "one another" or, αλλελιος does not always imply a reciprocal action. For instance, in Revelation 6:4 we see this same word in reference to people "killing one another." However, this does not mean that everyone being killed is, in turn, killing the one killing them. No, there are some who are killing and some who are dying. The same would be true with the command to "forgive one another." Situations dictate when someone is to forgive and when someone is the one being forgiven. It seems clear that this command to submit to "one another" is qualified by the following examples of how such submission looks. There are different situations that determine when one is in a role as the authority and when they are in the role of one who submits.
The next question that is raised is whether or not the husband's love of his wife is another form of submission. The simple answer is no. First, the Greek word for submission in these verses is hupotasso. Hupo means "under" and tasso means "to place" or "organize." The word was generally a military term that referred to military rank and subordination to an authority. Never, in all of Greek literature is the term hupotasso understood as a mutual submission. It always means one is under another in a one direction relationship of submission. Second, love is NOT the same as submission. Paul uses Christ and the church as his example of love and submission. Christ loves us, but his love for us does not put us in a place of authority over him. A person can use their authority and power for the benefit of another. That act does not relieve them of their authority or power. Christ's submission on the cross was an act of submission to the Father's will, not to us. Jesus never gave up his lordship or divine nature in his submission to the Father's will.
In sum, husbands are portrayed as those of higher rank and authority in the home. This does not mean they are of greater value. It simply means that they have a role in the home and that role includes authority. Wives are called to submit to that authority willingly (the verb is in the subjunctive tense) in reverence to Christ. Husbands are not called to submit, but to love their wives, willing to give up even their own lives for them. It is a beautiful picture of submission and care. Authority among Christians is not the same as authority in the world. Christians are not to lord their authority over others, but to use their authority for the benefit of others. This is what we see in this text. Nevertheless, the Bible does teach the loving headship of the husband and submission of wives in the Christian home.
