Hello
@VictoryinJesus,
* There is no possibility of you being cursed: and you have, in Christ Jesus, been wondrously blessed; but unlike the children of Israel who were blessed
'in basket and store', or in regard to the substance of their earthy lives, with good harvests etc., (Deut. 28:5 &17) we have been blessed with every blessing that is spiritual (Ephesians 1:3). In regard to our circumstances,
'in the natural', we have to simply live it as best we can, like everyone else: the advantage we have, as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, is that we have open access to God, in Christ, and a supply of strength, comfort and assurance that only He can give.
* You have eaten of Christ, in taking into your heart and believing the gospel concerning Him: and continue to feast of Him, in taking and digesting His written Word, by His Spirit. If you thirst - praise God! For He alone can satisfy that thirst, and will, for He only is the fountain of living water. It is the unbeliever who has no thirst, and does not realize his need.
* Regarding Deuteronomy 29:19, look at it within it's context, and you will see that the state of mind of that man, can never be said to be yours: for he was refusing to acknowledge the voice of God, whereas you are open to Him, and confess your need.
I wrote quite another response, which I include below, though it seems a bit bizarre to sent both, something within it may be useful to you.
With love in Christ Jesus
Chris
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Hello
@VictoryinJesus,
Thank you for the privilege of being party to your thoughts. I saw your entry last night when I checked my phone before going to sleep, but by that time the internet link was switched off, and I was unable to respond straight away. I woke at around 5.0am, and thought about what you had said, and prayed for you. This experience is not unique to you, I have had times like this too.
* My thoughts were, in regard to Deut. 29:19: that you are too close to the page, and can't see the context, because the words are in the way. You need to zoom out, or stand back. This applies to your situation in life too, and your family, take time to 'zoom-out', or 'stand-back' and take your eyes off yourself, and your confusion of thought, and see yourself as God sees you, in Christ Jesus. The two things that Paul was anxious that the Colossian believers should have (Col.2:2-9) , was assurance and confidence, and this is what the enemy of our souls seeks to destroy, doesn't he?
* Regarding our circumstances in life and our family situation, I remembered a friend of mine, who is sadly no longer with us, she was very much older than myself, and died in her nineties. She loved the Lord, and regarding our lot in life, she would say, '
In the natural, we just have to get on with things', in other words being a believer is not going to change circumstances, and we have to simply live our lives as best we can, the same as everyone else: the only difference being that we have the support and encouragement of the knowledge of a loving God and Saviour. I am sure I am not saying anything that you yourself don't know, and can't acknowledge.
* Psalm 73 and 77 came to mind as I sat in the wee small hours thinking of you, and the words of Asaph, in which he looks within, and without, and it is not until he finally comes before God that peace comes, as he sees things through God's eyes.
In Christ Jesus
Chris
Two for the price of one, what a bargain!! :)