Hello friends
My name is Ava, and I am a member of what's known as a Dissociative Identity Disorder system. This means I am one of multiple people, known as alters, who exist within this body. This can only occur when a child experiences ongoing and extreme trauma, and the brain fragments into separate identities, with separate memories and attributes, as a protective measure. We can each control the body at various times. We have different names, genders, sexualities, interests, glasses prescriptions, reactions to medications, dominant hands, allergies, and beliefs. Obviously we aren't literally different people, we are manifestations of the needs of one brain, but to us it feels like we are different people, so I refer to us as such.
I am what's known as an emotional protector and a caretaker. I look after the wellbeing of the other alters, I take care of the body when the host (the one who fronts the most) is unable to, I look after any alters who are struggling, I act as a parent to child alters and I front to calm the system down in situations of high stress or when the others are struggling with trauma.
I am not the "main" alter. If an original exists I am not it. I in fact did not exist as an alter until fairly recently in comparison to the rest of the system (once the brain has learned to split in childhood, it can continue to do so even into adulthood in response to new traumas). I am, however, the only currently active alter who is Christian. The rest range from disinterest to active dislike of Christianity, especially as some hold memories of trauma perpetuated by religious institutions or by people wielding religion as a weapon. I do not know what occurred, but I am told it was bad enough that simply being in a church or being ministered to will trigger flashbacks.
My question is this: what happens when we die? Do we all go to hell, because the others reject God? Do we all go to heaven, pulled there by my faith? Might we have separate souls, and each go to heaven or hell accordingly?
Note: I am happy to answer any questions you may have in regards to DID or our system.
Note 2: I am not looking for medical advice, so please do not try to tell me how to "cure" DID. Full integration is not an option for us and is generally considered unsafe. Any comments referring to us as demons will be ignored. Converting the others is not really an option here, when I try it triggers flashbacks.
Thank you and God bless you for any perspectives you can give
My name is Ava, and I am a member of what's known as a Dissociative Identity Disorder system. This means I am one of multiple people, known as alters, who exist within this body. This can only occur when a child experiences ongoing and extreme trauma, and the brain fragments into separate identities, with separate memories and attributes, as a protective measure. We can each control the body at various times. We have different names, genders, sexualities, interests, glasses prescriptions, reactions to medications, dominant hands, allergies, and beliefs. Obviously we aren't literally different people, we are manifestations of the needs of one brain, but to us it feels like we are different people, so I refer to us as such.
I am what's known as an emotional protector and a caretaker. I look after the wellbeing of the other alters, I take care of the body when the host (the one who fronts the most) is unable to, I look after any alters who are struggling, I act as a parent to child alters and I front to calm the system down in situations of high stress or when the others are struggling with trauma.
I am not the "main" alter. If an original exists I am not it. I in fact did not exist as an alter until fairly recently in comparison to the rest of the system (once the brain has learned to split in childhood, it can continue to do so even into adulthood in response to new traumas). I am, however, the only currently active alter who is Christian. The rest range from disinterest to active dislike of Christianity, especially as some hold memories of trauma perpetuated by religious institutions or by people wielding religion as a weapon. I do not know what occurred, but I am told it was bad enough that simply being in a church or being ministered to will trigger flashbacks.
My question is this: what happens when we die? Do we all go to hell, because the others reject God? Do we all go to heaven, pulled there by my faith? Might we have separate souls, and each go to heaven or hell accordingly?
Note: I am happy to answer any questions you may have in regards to DID or our system.
Note 2: I am not looking for medical advice, so please do not try to tell me how to "cure" DID. Full integration is not an option for us and is generally considered unsafe. Any comments referring to us as demons will be ignored. Converting the others is not really an option here, when I try it triggers flashbacks.
Thank you and God bless you for any perspectives you can give
