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Well, I can say it not the smoking because I been praying since I been little kid and never same to get any peace. Tell you truth I don't even know what the peace feels like.
I been told God will gave me self control when I gave my self to God but I don't see how I can with out self control. My understand is to live like Jesus when he was on the world but how was that?
I think my only problem is sexual stuff. It one of the hardest thing for me. I don't drink anymore. I been there and done it. I have find nothing wrong drinking a few thing to enjoy it but not to get drunk. I don't do drugs because I don't really see the point of it. I do my best to help people as much as I can with my wisdom but I need to also understand God wisdom because I think would also help. I need to learn how to pray more. I think also reading the bible will be helpful. I been hanging out with friend who are christian.
Yeah, I am reading through Job at moment. I told read once and then go through again. I having trouble getting through it because my disability, I can't match sound to the letter. Reason why I can get through it because I seen most of the words and I know what they are.
I been a christian my whole life but seem like every time I keep trying to get in more. Something always seem to keep getting in my way. I am starting to think God might not be real.