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Wynona

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Being a Mom is not what I expected. I never watched babies before Naomi was born.

I thought babies were kind of ...random and loved baby toys. Naomi is determined to be as independent as possible and copy everything we do. She loves the objects she sees us using around the house more than the baby toys. She spends a good portion of her day standing as much as possible.
 

Wynona

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I want to scrapbook, read classic books, and write a book myself. Off to go do--- it seems all my online spaces addict me and waste the time I could be spending doing that.
 

APAK

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I want to scrapbook, read classic books, and write a book myself. Off to go do--- it seems all my online spaces addict me and waste the time I could be spending doing that.
Potentially industrious...

Wynona: I always wanted to write a book, and one day someone at my work place said to me that people write books successfully because they have something to really say. I pondered over these words, even for years. I struggled and always found ways to judge myself not worth of saying something of importance to me and hopefully to others. I gave many excuses for not having any worthwhile to say. Then one day I said to heck with it, I have interests in certain areas and I will start writing...

and then it began, about 20 years...not finished with one book yet.

I have 3 non-fiction books in work. Over 1000 pages in one, another of about 200 pages and another of the same length.

I will get them finished with the dates I've set for each. in 3 years for the first and 5 years for the next two. I pray my brain may still function by then....
 
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Wynona

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Potentially industrious...

Wynona: I always wanted to write a book, and one day someone at my work place said to me that people write books successfully because they have something to really say. I pondered over these words, even for years. I struggled and always found ways to judge myself not worth of saying something of importance to me and hopefully to others. I gave many excuses for not having any worthwhile to say. Then one day I said to heck with it, I have interests in certain areas and I will start writing...

and then it began, about 20 years...not finished with one book yet.

I have 3 non-fiction books in work. Over 1000 pages in one, another of about 200 pages and another of the same length.

I will get them finished with the dates I've set for each. in 3 years for the first and 5 years for the next two. I pray my brain may still function by then....
I truly appreciate you sharing this. I relate to that self-conscious feeling a lot.
 
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Wynona

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I really get amnesia when it comes to things I have accomplished. If it's not perfectly done, I give myself credit for nothing.

So I just bought a big glass jar and some craft marbles. When I check something off my to-do list, one marble will go into the jar. It's the same as a social media notification but more productive.

When I run out of marbles, I will ask for a reward.
 
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APAK

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I really get amnesia when it comes to things I have accomplished. If it's not perfectly done, I give myself credit for nothing.

So I just bought a big glass jar and some craft marbles. When I check something off my to-do list, one marble will go into the jar. It's the same as a social media notification but more productive.

When I run out of marbles, I will ask for a reward.
Now try placing color coded or different colored marbles in separate jars. Red ones for critical task done, yellow ones in a separate jar for necessary things done, and green ones in another for discretionary ones of less importance completed.

This might be a way to gauge what types of tasks or projects you actually complete or finish in life; if that is important to you. It can also cause you to be happier, a sense of worth, well-being and knowing more about yourself and habits, without going to amnesia school that provides an 'empty' reward system.
 

Wynona

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I will try an urgent care today. Maybe this fatigue can be treated.
 

Pearl

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I really get amnesia when it comes to things I have accomplished. If it's not perfectly done, I give myself credit for nothing.

So I just bought a big glass jar and some craft marbles. When I check something off my to-do list, one marble will go into the jar. It's the same as a social media notification but more productive.

When I run out of marbles, I will ask for a reward.
I have a notebook and on one half of the page I write down my shopping list and on the other half I write my list of daily tasks. It helps me plan my day and it's very rewarding to cross them off. And anything I don't manage to accomplish goes on next week's list. Such things as wash the garden chairs when the weather improves.
 

Wynona

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Sometimes I feel a discouragement so intense, I want to give up. Exhaustion and self-doubt dog me and everything I believe in seems beyond my reach.

I believe in homemaking and Titus 2 principles but the enemy will often convince me that I will always fail no matter what. That my cleaning will never improve---that I should stop trying.
He wears me down. And I must admit, I still have doubts about myself from his accusations.
But I won't give up.
 
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Lambano

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Sometimes I feel a discouragement so intense, I want to give up. Exhaustion and self-doubt dog me and everything I believe in seems beyond my reach.

I believe in homemaking and Titus 2 principles but the enemy will often convince me that I will always fail no matter what. That my cleaning will never improve---that I should stop trying.
He wears me down. And I must admit, I still have doubts about myself from his accusations.
But I won't give up.
I had to say a prayer for you on that one.
 

Pearl

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Sometimes I feel a discouragement so intense, I want to give up. Exhaustion and self-doubt dog me and everything I believe in seems beyond my reach.

I believe in homemaking and Titus 2 principles but the enemy will often convince me that I will always fail no matter what. That my cleaning will never improve---that I should stop trying.
He wears me down. And I must admit, I still have doubts about myself from his accusations.
But I won't give up.
Now you have a little one, housekeeping is not as important. What is important is that you relax around your daughter and spend quality time with her even if you have to leave the dusting and washing up. They will wait, but you little one will grow up so fast and if you are forever worrying about housework you will miss it.

Do not let yourself be pressured by anybody. We are not all perfect. My own mum kept a very nice clean home but she never read to us or played with us but my own children and grandchildren still talk about the games we played and the things we did.

As a new Christian I confess i did feel a bit of pressure from some of the older ladies in Christ with the 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness' rubbish. But it's your life and wo what if you are not a natural born housekeeper don't worry about it. My husband never put that pressure on me, he didn't marry me for my housekeeping skills and I'm sure your husband doesn't put the pressure on either - and if he does he shouldn't, and you should tell him so.

Relax my young sister, enjoy your time with your child.
 

Wynona

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Now you have a little one, housekeeping is not as important. What is important is that you relax around your daughter and spend quality time with her even if you have to leave the dusting and washing up. They will wait, but you little one will grow up so fast and if you are forever worrying about housework you will miss it.

Do not let yourself be pressured by anybody. We are not all perfect. My own mum kept a very nice clean home but she never read to us or played with us but my own children and grandchildren still talk about the games we played and the things we did.

As a new Christian I confess i did feel a bit of pressure from some of the older ladies in Christ with the 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness' rubbish. But it's your life and wo what if you are not a natural born housekeeper don't worry about it. My husband never put that pressure on me, he didn't marry me for my housekeeping skills and I'm sure your husband doesn't put the pressure on either - and if he does he shouldn't, and you should tell him so.

Relax my young sister, enjoy your time with your child.
Praying about this. Youre not wrong
 
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Pearl

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Praying about this. Youre not wrong
I wrongly used to believe that as a Christian woman I should bake, sew, knit etc, etc, and have the cleanest house in the street. I'm a Christian yes but I'm also just a normal person who doesn't have to be perfect. I hope you can get to that place of acceptance of yourself and your limitations a lot sooner than I did. You will definitely enjoy your life better. And it doesn't make you love the Lord any less.
 
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Wynona

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My mother-in-law does not agree with my submissive-in-marriage lifestyle. But I feel vindicated.

She called five times about a matching tie my husband was to wear for Easter. The last two, I simply hung up immediately. She went to blow up hubby's phone. He eventually answered and said that we had a tough day with Naomi, that it was a miracle we were even going to their Easter service considering, and that it was not important that we match so she had best let the matter go.

My sentiments exactly, but as frazzled as I was, there was zero chance of me communicating that so well.

Sometimes submission, like most things, can be tedious. But hubby has grown confident, even downright cocky at times. I've created a monster but it's a monster that defends me.

This was what I wanted from the beginning when I told him I wanted him to be the leader in the relationship. My end goal was to avoid the passive checked out qualities I disliked in my father.
 

Pearl

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My mother-in-law does not agree with my submissive-in-marriage lifestyle. But I feel vindicated.

She called five times about a matching tie my husband was to wear for Easter. The last two, I simply hung up immediately. She went to blow up hubby's phone. He eventually answered and said that we had a tough day with Naomi, that it was a miracle we were even going to their Easter service considering, and that it was not important that we match so she had best let the matter go.

My sentiments exactly, but as frazzled as I was, there was zero chance of me communicating that so well.

Sometimes submission, like most things, can be tedious. But hubby has grown confident, even downright cocky at times. I've created a monster but it's a monster that defends me.

This was what I wanted from the beginning when I told him I wanted him to be the leader in the relationship. My end goal was to avoid the passive checked out qualities I disliked in my father.
I think it depends on what submission looks like, It shouldn't be heavy or oppressive. I see it as the ship needs a captain but it also needs a first mate who also has authority. My husband is brilliant, he never wanted me to be a doormat. Although there were ladies in our church who had to ask what brand of baked beans to buy. Now that is taking submission far to far. God showed me that a marriage partnership should be like two people dancing together; both in harmony but their own part to play, neither one better than the other.
 

Jay Ross

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@Wynona

My previous prayer for both you and your husband has not changed and every now and then God reminds me of this prayer, and I give thanks that God has heard my prayer for you both of you and is working on it to bless both of you.

Remember that God is the head of your family, who is drawing all of the family members to Himself and His righteous, and that if both of you are seeing and hearing right, then God will prompt the right person, in all situations, to take the lead within your little family. If you are both in submission to God and share together what the Lord is putting on your hearts and how you are feeling when you are communicating with each other, then the best leader to have is one who is a servant who encourages the other to rise up in the strength of God to do the things that are necessary to be done to keep the right order within your little family.

Shalom
 
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Debp

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Sometimes I feel a discouragement so intense, I want to give up. Exhaustion and self-doubt dog me and everything I believe in seems beyond my reach.

I believe in homemaking and Titus 2 principles but the enemy will often convince me that I will always fail no matter what. That my cleaning will never improve---that I should stop trying.
He wears me down. And I must admit, I still have doubts about myself from his accusations.
But I won't give up.

Learn to be more gentle with yourself. The Lord loves and accepts you as His child... accept yourself as He does. Rest in Jesus.
 

Wynona

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I think it depends on what submission looks like, It shouldn't be heavy or oppressive. I see it as the ship needs a captain but it also needs a first mate who also has authority. My husband is brilliant, he never wanted me to be a doormat. Although there were ladies in our church who had to ask what brand of baked beans to buy. Now that is taking submission far to far. God showed me that a marriage partnership should be like two people dancing together; both in harmony but their own part to play, neither one better than the other.
All our lives, my husband and I have been surrounded by a self serving feminism. It's not even the kind of "liberate the sisterhood" type activism. It is simply an attitude that justifies selfish and emasculating behaviour. We had no one in our families to model off of.

If my husband wanted me to ask about a baked bean brand, Id do it. He does far more to provide and sacrifice for me. It's not necessarily good if you mean a wife was micromanages in every single small decision. That is not loving. But just as an isolated example, I don't see an issue.

We should never submit to sinful requests. But in small things, I believe it's good to submit. Just as much as I believe a husband should lay down his life for his wife if necessary.

My culture is obsessed with fairness to a toxic degree. Marriage is not really fair. My husband has a level of emotional consistency that is easier for him. My intuition for our baby's needs far exceeds my husbands, despite him having more experience caring for babies.

As a general rule, if the society promotes something as a marriage ideal, we have found success in just sticking with Scripture even if no one else models it. Eventually, it always bears fruit.
 
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