Illegitimate God, or illegitimate churches?

[Hopeless]

[SIZE=small]I am to the point where I must conclude either that churches are illegitimate, or the god they worship is.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]My situation:[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]01[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I am an only child.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]02[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I am not married.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]03[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have no children.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]04[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My parents divorced before I was 6 years old. I have had zero contact with my father since 1983. My mother did not think I was worth demanding child support for and she never made any effort to collect what the judge ordered my father to pay anyway.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]05[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My father slept around during the marriage; my mother did so after the divorce.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]06[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]When I was 11-13 years old my mother had a drunk as a live-in boyfriend. He and I did not get along so my mother made me live 2 summers with her parents whom she has always claimed were abusive when she was a child.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]07[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]When my mother finally threw her boyfriend out of the house we came home one afternoon and found him with a stolen car. He came close to killing me when he threw a brass door handle through the plate glass window I had been sitting in front of just seconds before. He spent an entire summer stalking us because my mother agreed to be state’s witness against him for the stolen car. Since then I have spent my entire life listening to her lie about it saying that we came home and found a burglar. [/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]08[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]Whenever my mother sees anyone with more than one child she goes out of her way to point out that she learns from her mistakes- one husband, one child.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]09[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I am the only caregiver for my mother who is disabled with lupus.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]10[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My mother is suffering from short-term memory loss and she tends to become belligerent and violent when you don’t remember things the way she does. I am at the point where I fear for my safety.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]11[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]Seldom does a day go by without my mother finding some reason to yell and scream at me, and then she blames me for raising her blood pressure (and it also raises mine).[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]12[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]When I was a child my mother didn’t believe the doctors who told her that I have a heart murmur. Since 2005 I had been visiting an elderly friend (a woman I met when I was 10 years old and whose neighborhood Bible club I attended) who was in a nursing home against her will. Once her husband died in 2001 their church wouldn’t have anything to do with her and her only local family was a brother whose abuse is part of the reason why she was put in the nursing home. In 2008 I came down with pneumonia after visiting the nursing home (at age 40 it was my first serious illness in 23 years) and this put me in congestive heart failure due to the heart murmur, which ended up being a deformed aortic valve. My doctors want me to have heart surgery to replace the valve, but my family’s history with the medical profession is not good and my quality of life is so bad that I see no reason to have surgery.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]13[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have arthritis that already keeps me from driving and will likely cripple me if I live another 10 years. My options for treating the arthritis pain are limited because of my heart condition. I have been taking Tramadol since the end of June 2013, but it is not totally effective so I still have times where I am in pain.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]14[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have gout, but it is under control at the moment.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]15[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I was diagnosed with high blood pressure when I was diagnosed with heart failure. After nearly 4 years my blood pressure is mostly under control since I started taking the Tramadol, but there are still times when it is at stroke level when I get out of bed in the morning, and I still suffer from fatigue due to the side effects of my blood pressure medications.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]16[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I live in constant fear now of becoming homeless because I fear that my mother is going to have a temper tantrum and tell me to get out of the house. And since no church will offer me any help I have no place to go.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]17[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My mother was always verbally and often physically abusive towards me when I was a child.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]18[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I grew up malnourished to the point that I still have baby teeth because my mother never cared what I ate or even if I ate. I don’t need the fingers of one hand to count the number of time I remember her preparing a meal for me while I was growing up, and she never once saw to it that I had breakfast before leaving for school in the morning.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]19[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]Between my health and my situation at home I have no reason to be alive and wish I were dead and this is exactly what will happen if my situation does not change. [/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My faith situation:[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]01[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My mother’s mother came from several of the earliest Lutheran/German Reformed families to settle in western North Carolina.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]02[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My mother’s father likely was raised as a Southern Baptist (his uncle was a Southern Baptist pastor). He was a practicing Roman Catholic for a time before my mother was born. He may have returned to Roman Catholicism just before he died of cancer, but I never knew him to be anything but an atheist, and all-around miserable human being.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]03[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My father’s family was Southern Baptist (his maternal grandfather pastored a church in the 1920s), but they were not church-members or church-goers due to drunkenness.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]04[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]My mother claims she is not an atheist, but I have never known her to do anything but mock the Lord. She is not saved and has no interest in being saved; any attempt on my part to explain Christianity to her has always resulted in an argument and my health means I am no longer up to the task.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]05[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I was not raised in a Christian environment.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]06[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I was saved the summer before my parents divorced while attending a YMCA day camp where my father worked.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]07[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I am not and I have never been a member of any church because I refuse to have fellowship with heretics and hypocrites which are all you will find around here.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]08[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have never attended church services on a regular basis.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]09[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]While growing up the only church (Southern Baptist) that ever sent a Sunday School bus through my neighborhood started paying children to go to church so I stopped going. It has since been made public that this church’s founding pastor had been molesting children at the church around the time I was attending and the church’s governing board knew about and covered it up.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]10[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]When I was a teenager my mother had to give up the best job she ever had when her employer, a Southern Baptist deacon, wanted her to be his mistress. He has since done jail time for molestation a teenage girl that he met through his church.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]11[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]The churches where I live are morally corrupt and spiritually dead. [/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]12[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]Most churches where I live won’t even answer their phone, return a phone call or acknowledge a personal letter or email.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]13[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have never once asked any church for help of any kind and received any.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]14[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have offered money I have from an inheritance to hundreds of churches, Christian schools and Christian colleges in Alabama, Georgia, the Carolinas and Florida for the sake of building a school or otherwise supporting Christian education, but the only ones who have bothered to acknowledge my offer have insisted that I simply give them the money and give up all say in how it is used.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]15[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I turned down the first job I was offered as a Christian school teacher when I found out that the Baptist pastor that owned the school was using 20 year old textbooks and offering me a salary that was half what he was telling parents he was paying.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]16[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I lost my first job as a Christian school teacher when I refused to give out good report card grades just to keep the parents happy and the tuition money coming in. Few of the students at this school could read at the grade level appropriate for their age, and while I was willing to grade leniently to compensate for this I was not willing to give passing grades when the students would not make any effort to do their assignments.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]17[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I quit my next Christian school teacher job when I found out that the (Baptist) administrator had promised me $4000 more in pay than his (for profit but ostensibly Christian) company had authorized him to offer. He was later fired for making sexual remarks to some of the female students.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]18.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]When I was still in college I started having dreams ever so often about nuclear war. The dreams stopped after a year or so, but since last summer they have returned. More and more I am thinking that the Lord is sending me a warning, but at the moment I do not know what this warning is about. I do, however, believe that churches should make preparations for hard times (economic and natural disaster) that the Lord will use to cleanse the Church, but I do not see any churches that are doing anything. [/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]What I want to accomplish:[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]01[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]To establish an organic CSA farm that can serve as an environmental research and education center that can promote the use of ecologically sustainable food, energy and building construction technologies. My health makes this impossible without partners who can help with the physical labor, but I have been unable to find anyone who is interested.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]02[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]To establish a college prep Christian school (K-12) with a year-round academic schedule and modified curriculum that will prepare students to take at least 8 advanced placement exams by the time they graduate, but I would prefer to get the necessary accreditation that would allow the school to grant an associate’s degree. [/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]03[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]To create and produce, in conjunction with #2, a complete K-12 curriculum (not necessarily college prep) and market it to Christian schools and home-schooled students. Part of the proceeds would go towards establishing a liberal arts Christian college.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]04[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]To establish, in conjunction with #1, a center that will provide training in homesteading skills to missionaries who wish to work in un-developed countries without having to rely on large amounts of financial aid from sponsors back home.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]What I have to offer:[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]01[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have cash in the bank from money that I inherited in 2005 when my uncle died unexpectedly and I have a life insurance policy that I can cash in or borrow against. I am not willing to simply give this money to a church considering the way churches have treated me so don't ask for it. However, I would be willing to consider other ways to use the money to promote the gospel if I had a paying pastoral job or some other source of income, and I cannot spend the money without having a source of income first.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]02[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have a bachelor’s degree in biology, with 40 credit hours in history, from Emory University.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]03[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I studied German from grades 8-12.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]04[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have over 30 years experience growing vegetables. My mother’s mother came from a farm family and my father’s parents were farmers when he was born. I’ve been around gardening my entire life. I’ve used mostly organic methods since the mid-1990s.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]05[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I am co-owner of property with my mother, but it isn’t worth much money-wise and it’s certainly not worth staying around my mother for. [/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]06[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have over 30 years of personal Bible study lead by the Holy Ghost so I haven’t had any opportunity to have my doctrine be influenced by man.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]What I am looking for:[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]01[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]A place to live for me and my cat.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]02[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]Employment as a teacher (science, social studies, Bible, German), tutor or church pastor even if I establish a farm or school.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]03[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]Access to land that can be used as a farm.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=small]I have spent the past 8 years looking for a pastoral position, but no church is willing to give me the time of day, and precious few self-proclaimed Christians I have encountered are even willing to pray for me.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]If I must conclude that it is your God’s will that I suffer the misery I have been and am being subjected to, then I must reject Him as unworthy of recognition, let alone worship. But if your God’s is legitimate and your church refuses to offer me any help of any kind, then I must conclude that your church is not.[/SIZE]

 

[John Zain]

Dear Hopeless,

This is exactly whom Jesus came to help and rescue ... the hopeless!

My spiritual testimony proves that God exists, that He loves His creation,
that He came to earth for 33 years to save some of humanity ...
so they could live with Him in heaven for all of eternity.

If you would like to read my amazing testimony of PROOF, just ask.

I have spent the past 8 years looking for a pastoral position,
but no church is willing to give me the time of day ...

This reminds me of a lady in England who felt called to go to China as a missionary.
After several years, she just up and left ... all on her own!
She simply decided to trust God ... for everything.

Her experiences are told in the movie, "The Inn of the Sixth Happiness", starring Ingrid Bergman.

 

[Eltanin]

You seem to have had a pretty rough time of things. I am sorry for that.

There are false Christians and illegitimate churches out there. You must also realize that not all churches are equipped to handle all situations.

It seems to me though that you are very judgmental of all churches and institutions, by the way you group all of them in your area as hypocritical and useless, but then you say you have never attended any of them because they are as you say. You see the bad person in a headline in your town, and then you judge all people in that congregation by that standard. You say no churches are offering help, and that no church has ever helped you, but you also say that you have never been a member of any church and you have never asked for help. How are people supposed to know that you want or need help if you never allow people to get to know you?

I only have to go on what you have posted though, and I know I do not know you. You sound like you have worthy goals and intentions. Part of the hang up in your life may be that you are focusing too much on your past. You are zeroed in on your hang-ups and how you have been failed. There is a large amount of "I" and "me" in the OP, and this, I would think is a major reason why a leadership position might not be within your reach at the moment.

As for your goals, I have somewhat similar goals as well. I do not rely on the church for them, I am working on listening to God's direction, and I am relying on God. You can achieve what God has laid on your heart, but I feel you should be more trusting of him to lead you to the people and connections that you need to make. You should realize that what you accomplish is really what God accomplishes through you.

 

[Hopeless]

[SIZE=small][/SIZE]

It seems to me though that you are very judgmental of all churches and institutions, by the way you group all of them in your area as hypocritical and useless, but then you say you have never attended any of them because they are as you say.

[SIZE=small]This has been my experience with the local churches my entire life. When I was a child there was only 1 church that ever sent a Sunday school bus through my neighborhood. This church would do things like give out live rabbits at Easter (against state law) to get children to come to church. I went a few times but finally stopped when they started paying children to go to church. It has since been made public that this church’s founding pastor had been molesting children at the church and its K-12 school with the knowledge of the church’s board of directors who covered up for him.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]Then later my mother have to give up the best job she ever had because the married Baptist deacon she worked for wanted her to be his mistress. He has since done jail time for molesting a teenage girl he met through his church.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]In the process of trying to find someplace to open a school I have compiled a list of several hundred churches of varying sizes and denominations who either would not answer their phone; would not return a phone call or acknowledge a personal letter or email; didn’t have space because they had daycare (not a legitimate church function since it encourages the break down of the family unit) or they simply refused to talk to me about a school.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]So don’t tell me how great and wonderful your churches are. They are all worthless. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=small][/SIZE]

You see the bad person in a headline in your town, and then you judge all people in that congregation by that standard.

[SIZE=small]And judging me is exactly what you are doing right now. I know more about the churches around here than you do or you can since I live here and you don’t.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small][/SIZE]

How are people supposed to know that you want or need help if you never allow people to get to know you?

[SIZE=small]I have to be a church member in order to even be prayed for? What kind of Christianity are YOU practicing? Attitudes like yours are precisely why I haven’t wanted to be a member of any church.[/SIZE]

You seem to have had a pretty rough time of things. I am sorry for that.

There are false Christians and illegitimate churches out there. You must also realize that not all churches are equipped to handle all situations.

It seems to me though that you are very judgmental of all churches and institutions, by the way you group all of them in your area as hypocritical and useless, but then you say you have never attended any of them because they are as you say. You see the bad person in a headline in your town, and then you judge all people in that congregation by that standard. You say no churches are offering help, and that no church has ever helped you, but you also say that you have never been a member of any church and you have never asked for help. How are people supposed to know that you want or need help if you never allow people to get to know you?

I only have to go on what you have posted though, and I know I do not know you. You sound like you have worthy goals and intentions. Part of the hang up in your life may be that you are focusing too much on your past. You are zeroed in on your hang-ups and how you have been failed. There is a large amount of "I" and "me" in the OP, and this, I would think is a major reason why a leadership position might not be within your reach at the moment.

As for your goals, I have somewhat similar goals as well. I do not rely on the church for them, I am working on listening to God's direction, and I am relying on God. You can achieve what God has laid on your heart, but I feel you should be more trusting of him to lead you to the people and connections that you need to make. You should realize that what you accomplish is really what God accomplishes through you.

 

[Prentis]

God does not answer when we seek something for ourselves, but when we submit all to Him for his purpose. God came and gavr his life for all, and became servant of all, but only those who learn from his love and sacrifice and also give their all to him reveal themselves yo be worthy of Him. He loved us before we loved Him for the purpose that we would learn to love Him, but if we do not then we have not learnt from his example.

The institutional church seeks something for itself, but this not what we are called. We are called to do as he did, and give up our posituon and rights. Don't seek for yourself a position inside the institution, rather seek to please God in obscurity so that your reward would be in heaven, then he will look after you.

Seek first the kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you! May you find Him and be conformed to his will! Blessings!
PS. I understand your disgust with the institutional church that seeks membership and tithe, and is tainted with the love of money. I am not part of it either. But there is another church which is outside of man's system, that seeks nothing but to be with him and called of him. Here there is no membership but to truly love God. This church lives by faith on God's provision. It is the church of those called out into the wilderness. And here there is hope of his visitation anf provision!

 

[Arnie Manitoba]

Most scams start out with .... poor poor me .... they soften up your heart .... and then ask you for something.

 

[Suhar]

[SIZE=medium]What qualifies you to be pastor of anybody or open school of any kind? Why would anybody in the right mind from any church of any denomination invite you in to do what you want while they are already doing what they think God wants them to do. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]You want to be a pastor? Start your own church. See if anybody comes. If it is God’s will for you to be pastor people will come but if it only your ego then you will waste your money and, maybe, lower your ego.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]You declare God illegitimate while you want to, supposedly, serve Him? Looks like you want God to serve you instead.[/SIZE]

 

[Hopeless]

[SIZE=small][/SIZE]

Most scams start out with .... poor poor me .... they soften up your heart .... and then ask you for something.

[SIZE=small]And I haven’t asked you for anything but your prayers, hypocrite.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small][/SIZE]

What qualifies you to be pastor of anybody or open school of any kind?

[SIZE=small]What qualifies you to determine what qualifications a church pastor or anything else must have?[/SIZE]

 

[Levi]

Everyone has a story, hopeless, there are people who say they are Christian and they are not. There are people who say they love you, they care about you, they friend you - and they are none of those things. Life is not fair.

The only thing you can control is your reaction to people who would otherwise abuse you or take advantage of you, God is a Healer and you are in need of it. Seek Him and let Him heal you.

 

[Suhar]

[SIZE=small]What qualifies you to determine what qualifications a church pastor or anything else must have?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]Apparently there is nothing that qualifies you to be pastor or start a church or school otherwise you would not be afraid to share it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]You came here to have “last stand” against Christianity and against God. Last thing that you have to do to justify yourself in your own eyes. After you throw a fit here you can scream at God and say: “See, now I did everything and now I am justified to give up on you!”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium] In reality you did nothing for God, you did it all for yourself.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]In some people suffering builds character, in others pride. You are who you are as a sum not of your challenges but your responses to them.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]Instead of building character you are building monument to yourself and your problems. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]God will not use monuments like yours. The only thing they are good for is tombstones. [/SIZE]

 

[Hopeless]

[SIZE=13.5pt][/SIZE]

Apparently there is nothing that qualifies you to be pastor or start a church or school otherwise you would not be afraid to share it.

[SIZE=small]Ephesians 4:11-12[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]People who do the Lord’s work are not trained, ordained or certified by man. People who do the Lord’s work must meet His qualifications, not yours. People like you have no say in the matter.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]And apparently you have not bothered to read what I have posted because I have given you my qualifications.[/SIZE]

 

[justaname]

Heavenly Father, Creator of all, Sovereign over all, I beseech you in all humility; heal the hearts of all who read these words. Strengthen the resolve of faith in the souls that desire peace. Comfort the hope in Hopeless that you are a God of mercy, that you are a faithful God who is there through the struggles we endure.
Father you give only good gifts, though we might not see the good in all things. So many people God, desire to do many things for your namesake. God grant us the wisdom to not seek our own endeavors, yet to align ourselves with Yours.
If it is in Your will Father, bless the proposed ministry Hopeless seeks, open the doors needed, and place those necessary near Hopeless to bring these goals into your grace.
God I thank you now for everything that is decided, for I trust that what is best will happen.

In the holy, righteous, and all powerful name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen

 

[Suhar]

[SIZE=small]Ephesians 4:11-12[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]People who do the Lord’s work are not trained, ordained or certified by man. People who do the Lord’s work must meet His qualifications, not yours. People like you have no say in the matter.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]And apparently you have not bothered to read what I have posted because I have given you my qualifications.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]I saw absolutely nothing in your long self-pity story that qualifies you to lead or teach anybody.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]If you say that God wants you to be pastor don’t you think He would give you an opportunity to become one? [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]Why in the world would you want to serve God whom you doubt? If you have even a hint of doubt about legitimacy of God then you have not even made the very first step in becoming a Christian! In order to become a Christian you must first believe that God is absolute, absolutely legitimate and believe that absolutely![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]I hate to break it to you…. you are not even a Christian yet![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]Satan and demons know Bible a whole lot better then you and you better believe they have a whole lot more spiritual experience then you do but does it qualify them to be Christian pastors and teachers? They declare God to be illegitimate just like you do![/SIZE]

 

[aspen]

It saddens me to hear about the pain in your life. I hope you have the support of people in your life. Unfortunately, posting your story on a public board is only going to make you feel worse because their are many people out there who are incapable of empathy. And the people who are capable of feeling empathy are only able to express sympathy over the internet - which can sound hollow. Posting on a public board that has the word Christianity in it is surely going to confirm your view of the church and God because the heartless posts stick out the most. However, you can count on me to pray for you and I believe God will show His love and compassion to you, which will equip you to face all the hardship in your life.

 

[Eltanin]

[SIZE=small]This has been my experience with the local churches my entire life. When I was a child there was only 1 church that ever sent a Sunday school bus through my neighborhood. This church would do things like give out live rabbits at Easter (against state law) to get children to come to church. I went a few times but finally stopped when they started paying children to go to church. It has since been made public that this church’s founding pastor had been molesting children at the church and its K-12 school with the knowledge of the church’s board of directors who covered up for him.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]Then later my mother have to give up the best job she ever had because the married Baptist deacon she worked for wanted her to be his mistress. He has since done jail time for molesting a teenage girl he met through his church.[/SIZE]

Yes, I already read this. It still does not justify judging every congregation according to these incidents.

In the process of trying to find someplace to open a school I have compiled a list of several hundred churches of varying sizes and denominations who either would not answer their phone; would not return a phone call or acknowledge a personal letter or email; didn’t have space because they had daycare (not a legitimate church function since it encourages the break down of the family unit) or they simply refused to talk to me about a school.

So, you have judged all churches as corrupt, and not worth joining; Yet, even though you scorn them all, they are supposed to hail your ideas as the redemption of all their failings as you so define them?

So don’t tell me how great and wonderful your churches are. They are all worthless.

I do not go to church. I am a member of THE Church. I DO understand that there are some places out there that are not what they claim to be... But I cannot judge all congregations as useless. I have had help from a couple, and I have been blessed to have the opportunity to be help with several of them. I find my fellowship within the communities that I work in and volunteer in. Yet, there are several church congregations that have become dear to my heart because of the golden individuals within them. There are a few that are not so good, yet even they have individuals within who are just as Godly as anyone, who are directed by the Spirit to be a light in the burned out lamps of those congregations.

And judging me is exactly what you are doing right now. I know more about the churches around here than you do or you can since I live here and you don’t.

As I said, I can only go by what you have posted, and I know that you are not the sum of what you have posted. I AM judging what you have posted. I thought that you wanted feedback. What other reason would you have posted?
I am sorry that it has come across that I have judged you as a person.

I have to be a church member in order to even be prayed for? What kind of Christianity are YOU practicing? Attitudes like yours are precisely why I haven’t wanted to be a member of any church.

I didn't say you had to be a member of a church to be prayed for. I just posed the question, "How are people supposed to help you if they never allowed to get to know you?" For that matter, how do you know that people haven't prayed for you? I don't think any of us go up to every single person that God places upon our hearts to let them know that we have been praying for them.

I am not a member of any congregation, yet people know me, I can walk into a church if I want, and ask for prayer, or I can call many people from several congregations, and sometimes, someone does walk up to me and let me know that I am in their prayers. People have to know me to be able to do that, and I have to be willing to be approachable in order for them to feel comfortable in coming to me to tell me they are praying for me.

I practice trying to emulate Jesus. I don't always succeed, but I never fail, because when I mess up, I don't let it stop me, I learn from my mistake, and I keep going. I try to stay humble, because I know I will mess up again. I try to be forgiving, because I know I will need forgiveness.

I am not asking you to become a member of a congregation. I do understand why you don't want to be. I would just encourage you to open your eyes to individuals, instead of being prejudice against those who choose to be church members.

Also, I would like to reiterate that I think your ideas are worthy. I was very blessed to have gone to a Christian school, and I wish there were more out there, especially in these times. I too, am interested in organic farming and gardening on a community level.

The largest project that God has laid upon my heart is so big that I know, when it comes to pass, it would not have been on my own account. It would not be the money I have in the bank, or the land that I acquire, but only God's hand that will make it come to pass. He will lead me to people, and He will lead people to me who He has in place to make it happen when the time is right, and not before. It took me a long time to realize it was not my project, and that my timing didn't matter. I was ready to give up everything when my pride was in the way. All I could think about was how I wanted everything to operate and look, and when my vision wasn't going anywhere, I started getting angry. Then He whispered that He didn't want my vision, that His was better... And now, I just trust that I am going to be blessed with the opportunity one day to be a part of something God has envisioned, and I am so blessed to know that I was a part of His Plan from the beginning.

Really, I just want to encourage you to let go of your past, to let go of your pride, and to open your eyes to the blessings God has waiting for you. I can say this, and I know it sounds judgmental at first, but I just go by your post, I do understand that there is much more to you than what you type.

I say let go of your past because, according to your post, you focus a lot on what you have been through.

I say let go of your pride, because in your post, you focus on yourself throughout the whole thing. Your childhood, your hardships, what you have to offer, your vision, what you want... You despise a majority of people based on the failings of some... Humans... Who by definition are not perfect.

I believe there are blessings all around you, just waiting for you to accept them. I believe this based on your post. I believe your goals are worthy, and I think that they truly are something that God wants to use you for. God prepares us for what He wants us to accomplish, but first we must let Him direct us. His preparations come in the form of blessings, and each one serves to make us better tools for His use.

 

[Suhar]

It saddens me to hear about the pain in your life. I hope you have the support of people in your life. Unfortunately, posting your story on a public board is only going to make you feel worse because their are many people out there who are incapable of empathy. And the people who are capable of feeling empathy are only able to express sympathy over the internet - which can sound hollow. Posting on a public board that has the word Christianity in it is surely going to confirm your view of the church and God because the heartless posts stick out the most. However, you can count on me to pray for you and I believe God will show His love and compassion to you, which will equip you to face all the hardship in your life.

[SIZE=medium]If you are talking about my reply as “heartless” then let me tell you something: You do not know me. I had a childhood that I do not want to remember, I had to go through so much you would not believe! I do have current issues that I have to deal with but you do not see me crying about it. Crying with story well detailed, enumerated on public forum. I do have my story, which I gave few people to read. They were left speechless and few told me that it is hard to believe that one can survive that.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]I am who I am today and I do not dwell on past. Also, I do not blame God for not properly rewarding me for my struggles and even questioning His legitimacy for not doing so.[/SIZE]

 

[Arnie Manitoba]

[SIZE=small]And I haven’t asked you for anything but your prayers, hypocrite.[/SIZE]

Sounded like it to me , sorry

[SIZE=small]What I am looking for:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]01[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]A place to live for me and my cat.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]02[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]Employment as a teacher (science, social studies, Bible, German), tutor or church pastor even if I establish a farm or school.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]03[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]Access to land that can be used as a farm.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]I have spent the past 8 years looking for a pastoral position, but no church is willing to give me the time of day, and precious few self-proclaimed Christians I have encountered are even willing to pray for me.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]If I must conclude that it is your God’s will that I suffer the misery I have been and am being subjected to, then I must reject Him as unworthy of recognition, let alone worship. But if your God’s is legitimate and your church refuses to offer me any help of any kind, then I must conclude that your church is not.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]I am to the point where I must conclude either that churches are illegitimate, or the god they worship is.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]<SNIP>[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small] But if your God’s is legitimate and your church refuses to offer me any help of any kind, then I must conclude that your church is not.[/SIZE]

You are the church sir

The Christian church is all the individual believers in the world

Stop blaming us for your maladies

And stop feeling so hopeless

Christianity has always been about hope in a hopeless world

I hope you come to realize that sir.

Nobody on this forum has ever caused you any harm

 

[mjrhealth]

[SIZE=small]Ephesians 4:11-12[/SIZE]
[SIZE=small]And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]People who do the Lord’s work are not trained, ordained or certified by man. People who do the Lord’s work must meet His qualifications, not yours. People like you have no say in the matter.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=small]And apparently you have not bothered to read what I have posted because I have given you my qualifications.[/SIZE]

Well she is right here, sorry to say. Bits of paper and mens schools do not qualify anyone to be pastors in Gods kingdom, Jesus does the calling He does the teaching, My Sheep hear my voice.But than why would you want to pastor a church, Jesus will send you where He needs you. he opens the doors and shuts them. I will have nothing to do with mens religion it has done nothing but disort the truth of who God is, and made Him out to be something He is not.

In all His Love

 

[tom55]

In my opinion it is obvious the intent of "HOPELESS" is to degrade and attack religion or Christianity specifically. The entire post is full of contradictions about his/her alleged childhood and life. I sincerely hope "HOPELESS" finds something else to do with their life besides attacking religion.

[SIZE=small]"I was not raised in a Christian environment", "I was saved the summer before my parents divorced..". Sounds to me like you were raised in a Christian environment if you were saved.[/SIZE]

"My parents divorced before I was 6 years old", "I was saved the summer before my parents divorced" ....So your were saved before you were six years old??

"I was 10 years old and whose neighborhood Bible club I attended"....But I thought you said you weren't raised in a Christian environment. Studying the bible is not a Christian environment?

"I am not and I have never been a member of a church....", But a few sentences later you said you stopped going to church?

"I have never attended church services on a regular basis"...However, you seem to (allegedly) know allot about your local churches.

You say you have an inheritance that you have offered to various churches and you want to build a school with that money but then you say you are "not willing to simply give this money to a church...". So have you offered the money or not? Are you willing to give it or not? And since you seem to hate every church and religion in general, why would you offer?

You said you live in constant fear of being homeless if your mom kicks you out. Why not use your alleged inheritance and/or government disability, local food pantries etc. to support yourself if your mother kicks you out?

"And since no church will offer me help I have no place to go.".....I don't think you went to any church to ask for help. They can't offer help unless they know you need help. There are more options then the local church to get help. I think your entire story is a lie. I feel sorry for you that feel that you have to attack religion. Why not just state your atheist beliefs and we can discuss/debate that instead of disguising yourself? Are you embarrassed by your atheist beliefs?

 

[Dodo_David]

Hopeless:

I am sorry that not every response to you has been encouraging or edifying. I prefer to give you words of encouragement, which I put in a private message to you.

When you read through the book of Psalms and other parts of the Old Testament, you find that plenty of the saints of old ask, "Why, God?" in response to their own hardships. There is nothing wrong with you asking the same question.

I will tell you more through private messaging.

Peace!