Is it possible to get my faith back?

[dhh712]

I wouldn't know how to excuse myself to go to a church.

Like Sabertooth asked, what do you mean by that? Why would you have to excuse yourself to go to a church? It appears that this may be the first step in providing a remedy to your spiritual poverty right now. Attending a worship service physically in the assembly of God's people is a huge way of accessing the grace that God provides. God does give grace to us freely, but most times in a Christian's life just sitting there and hoping God does something (not that you are doing that) most often accomplishes nothing. It is the way we are born again for we do nothing in that part--God intervenes in our lives and saves us, gives life to our spiritually dead souls.

The New Testament describes the Christian life as a race, a fight. Praying and reading the Bible are good ways to fight the good fight; however, in your case it appears there may be something lacking. It may be that you are just going through a dry spell in your walk with the Lord; all of us go through these times. But, it may be something more; God may be working in your life in this way to drive you to seek him in a different way. I don't know that it might be to enter into a physical and spiritual relationship with the family of God. This isn't an easy first step. When I was converted, I felt very awkward going to a church and it didn't go away for a while. But now it is the most important thing in my life and exponentially so since my husband unexpectedly passed away.

I pray you will consider seeking out a Bible-believing Christ-centered church in your area. They may be difficult to find as many out there preach a partial gospel and may not provide you with much spiritual depth. Here is a church locator and a directory which provide locations/lists of churches I understand should reflect the most complete teachings of the Bible, but I think there should be more out there which can provide you with a good family of our Lord to meet with.

Church Finder
Reformed Baptist Church Directory | ReformedWiki

 

[PossibleThrowawayAccount]

Thank you to everyone who replied since my last post.

I pride myself on logic as a means to determine truth. If you examine the last 2 sentences you wrote, you HAVE faith, otherwise you would not be trying to keep it.

That makes sense. I should have asked how to keep it but I feel that I lost so much of it and I am unsure rather or not I can get back what I lost.

Why would you have to excuse yourself to go to a church?

My father is an oppressive atheist. He would probably try to stop me or insult me for it.

It may be that you are just going through a dry spell in your walk with the Lord; all of us go through these times.

It isn't so much that I am in a dry spell. The big priblem with my faith is that I don't think God cares about me. He never did anything to stop my enemies from hurting me nor has he punished them in any way. He didn't give me any qualities that make me valuable and I am pretty much worthless. My life is staying the same and he isn't helping me change it.

 

[dhh712]

My father is an oppressive atheist. He would probably try to stop me or insult me for it.

Would you be able to make up somewhere else you are going? I can try to help you think of something. People meet other people online all the time. You can say you are going to meet a friend for a few hours. You can tell him it's me if he demands proof and I can tell him I live around you. If you can get to a good church, if you are willing I can see if I can try to find one in your area, you can try to seek help from the elders there. It may be they can help you find some kind of work, not any kind of manual labor because of your injury, but something that can get you out of your home. That seems to be the first step; you definitely need to get out of that environment somehow.

It isn't so much that I am in a dry spell. The big priblem with my faith is that I don't think God cares about me. He never did anything to stop my enemies from hurting me nor has he punished them in any way. He didn't give me any qualities that make me valuable and I am pretty much worthless. My life is staying the same and he isn't helping me change it.

It can really seem that way to a lot of us. He never promised us that we would enjoy this life. In fact, Jesus says himself that we will suffer. My pastor knows of believers who were locked into shipping containers and left in the blistering desert to die that way. I don't know how in the world they can think that God cared about them when they were suffocating and roasting to death in the heat. But they trusted him. My friend has a difficult life. He lost his wife recently, has a very hard job, will never be able to retire because he has nothing saved (he's 65 I believe); recently he tried to get into a relationship with "Christians" online and both of them lied to him and tried to swindle him out of what little money he had. One of them accomplished that.

The great struggle of faith is to not look at what we have here but to trust God's word alone. That is very, very, very difficult to do for many people. The thing is: what do you have to hope for in this life? For you it appears to be very little. That is the case for a great many believers out there (and actually for most of the world and for most everyone who has ever lived in all of history). The only hope for most people, for most everyone who has ever lived, is that there is something after death. The promise that God offers in his word is the only true comforting hope (and yes, many atheists scoff and say, "Well you must need a 'crutch' to get you through life". And I heartily say, "Yes! I darn well do! This life is waaaaay too difficult to me to get through without believing there is something hopeful after." I attest most definitely that I would have taken my life if I had not been a believer after my husband passed away).

If you would like, and it can be sent to a P.O. Box or something like that so I don't know where you live, I can send you a really helpful book to those who doubt that God's word may be true. It's called A Ready Defense, by Josh McDowell. It gives you reasons to believe that God's word really is something that can be trusted. You may feel that God hates you and everything that is going on in your life may point exactly to that. There may be no other logical end by our own understanding that it is possible to come to. That is when we have to, no matter how we feel about it, we have to trust in God in lean not on our own understanding.

I really don't say that lightly, as I think I mentioned about the unexpected death of my husband and some other recent hardships (mild in comparison to what others are suffering out there). I just hope you will turn fully to Jesus, to cast all your cares upon him and cling to him no matter what valley of the shadow of death he may lead you through. He will always be with you, no matter if you don't feel him or can understand by any of your senses that he is there.

 

[Wrangler]

I pride myself on logic as a means to determine truth. If you examine the last 2 sentences you wrote, you HAVE faith, otherwise you would not be trying to keep it.

That makes sense. I should have asked how to keep it but I feel that I lost so much of it and I am unsure rather or not I can get back what I lost.

Understood. Keep in mind that the basis of our faith is NOT reward. It’s not that if you have enough faith you’ll eventually be the 5-time consecutive NBA League and Championship MVP; that you have so much faith in that outcome that it puts an obligation on the Creator to make it happen.

Rather, our faith is rooted in being a devoted servant of the lord.

During the pandemic lockdown, my company had massive lay offs. I kept getting temp jobs menial jobs rather than the professional jobs I’ve always had. And I wondered why I was going through this upheaval. I prayed about it.

Specifically, I did NOT pray for me to get out of the transient nature of my work. Instead, I prayed to understand WHY I am going through this.

Suddenly, it came to me. Scenes and faces of people I affected. It wasn’t about me advancing my career. God put me in places to provide words of wisdom to his children every temp place I worked.

There’s more to the story but I hope this helps. It’s not only the rich, good looking and talented who can serve god.

 

[PossibleThrowawayAccount]

Would you be able to make up somewhere else you are going?

At the moment I am thinking of excuses I can make.

You can say you are going to meet a friend for a few hours. You can tell him it's me if he demands proof and I can tell him I live around you

He would be less open to that than church. He has this world view that everyone on the internet is a predator of some kind. In fact I have been trying online dating and I am trying to think of excuses on how to meet someone in person if I find a match.

That seems to be the first step; you definitely need to get out of that environment somehow.

I have been trying for years but no luck so far. I thought for sure that job I had to quit was going to finally get me the life I always wanted and it really drained me when I had to quit.

If you would like, and it can be sent to a P.O. Box or something like that so I don't know where you live, I can send you a really helpful book to those who doubt that God's word may be true

No thank you. I am worried that I am sounding impossible by rejecting a lot that I am being offered on here and I hope no one thinks that I am not trying hard enough. Believe me, I am greatful for all the help.

Specifically, I did NOT pray for me to get out of the transient nature of my work. Instead, I prayed to understand WHY I am going through this.

I might try praying for an answer. I cannot possibly see how this benefits me in any way as my old faith used to be pure and now it is in shambles. Had I at least been able to get married, moved on with my life and either never met my enemies or if they had some kind of suffering I would never have lost my faith. I look back on when I had a deep faith andthink about how it all went down the drain.

Thank you all for your help so far.

 

[farouk]

James 1:3 : "the trying of your faith worketh patience".

 

[Wrangler]

I might try praying for an answer. I cannot possibly see how this benefits me in any way as my old faith used to be pure and now it is in shambles.

Precious child. Read the parable of Pharisee and the Publican in Luke 18:9-14.

Isn't it enough that your heavenly Father wants a relationship with you for you to pray without ceasing?


Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!
1 Chronicles 16:11

Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints
Ephesians 6:18

Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.
Jeremiah 33:3

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray.
James 5:13

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
James 1:5

 

[PossibleThrowawayAccount]

Isn't it enough that your heavenly Father wants a relationship with you for you to pray without ceasing?

Sometimes I feel like God doesn't want a relationship with me even though I know otherwise.

For the past few days my problems haven't been bothering me and I have been feeling close to God but I know it won't last.

It sounds crazy and my motives will sound completely wrong but I was thinking of being a better Christian to please God as a way of getting back at my enemies. If I am rewarded higher in judgement day it will make them very angry, even though I am sure they are atheists and will probably be thrown into the lake of fire anyway.

 

[Lambano]

It isn't so much that I am in a dry spell. The big priblem with my faith is that I don't think God cares about me. He never did anything to stop my enemies from hurting me nor has he punished them in any way. He didn't give me any qualities that make me valuable and I am pretty much worthless. My life is staying the same and he isn't helping me change it.

I might try praying for an answer. I cannot possibly see how this benefits me in any way as my old faith used to be pure and now it is in shambles. Had I at least been able to get married, moved on with my life and either never met my enemies or if they had some kind of suffering I would never have lost my faith. I look back on when I had a deep faith andthink about how it all went down the drain.

These kinda explain what your understanding of faith is, right?

I don't think you can get back that kind of faith. You've seen too much and experienced too much and know too much to ever go back. But maybe there is a different concept of "faith" in God and Christ that'll give you strength and purpose for living?

Now let's go find it.

 

[PossibleThrowawayAccount]

But maybe there is a different concept of "faith" in God and Christ that'll give you strength and purpose for living?

I don't know. Is there any other concepts of faith than what I had?

 

[dhh712]

No thank you. I am worried that I am sounding impossible by rejecting a lot that I am being offered on here and I hope no one thinks that I am not trying hard enough. Believe me, I am greatful for all the help.

It's okay, dear. Know that if you ever change your mind or if I could be of any help to you, please do let me know.

I don't know. Is there any other concepts of faith than what I had?

I think there is. Your faith right now appears to be based on things seen externally. We hope for things unseen for it isn't hope if it is seen and known. You know that God cares about you, but you don't feel it experientially. For most believers, that's how it is. As I believe I mentioned before, our lives (for most believers who live now and who have ever lived) are pretty much miserable. And when we undergo real persecution--I mean torture because we cling to our faith and will not renounce Jesus--we really can't see how God loves us.

This piece of literature is not very well thought of here (and in a lot of places), but the doctrine presented in it is what the Lord used to preserve me when I went--and still am going--through the trial of unexpectedly losing my husband. It is the Westminster Confessions of Faith. It's available to read online. If it were not for my understanding of God the way that he is presented, and I believe it is the most correct (though imperfect) interpretation of the Bible out there, I would have left the faith and I know I would have taken my own life shortly after my husband passed away. I would have thought God was a liar and a cruel tyrannical monster, taking away the things that people love and what give them joy in life. I would have thought he was a stupid, narcissistic A-hole and have despised ever having gotten into Christianity.

We should never base our faith on feelings or on what is happening externally in our life, but on what God says in his word. And he says that ALL THINGS work for good for those who love the Lord and who are called according to his purpose (as those who believe are called into his kingdom, to glorify him and we do love him for he first loved us). We must believe that and trust that what his word says is true, no matter if we are subjected to torture and only because we do love him. That is not something that is easily done and most likely is the most difficult thing to do.

I hope that you will grow in your faith and your knowledge of our awesome Saviour, who is worth every miserable thing that happens to us in our lives. As it is written in one of the epistles (I believe it is Romans 8), These momentary trials cannot be compared to the glory that awaits.

 

[farouk]

It's okay, dear. Know that if you ever change your mind or if I could be of any help to you, please do let me know.



I think there is. Your faith right now appears to be based on things seen externally. We hope for things unseen for it isn't hope if it is seen and known. You know that God cares about you, but you don't feel it experientially. For most believers, that's how it is. As I believe I mentioned before, our lives (for most believers who live now and who have ever lived) are pretty much miserable. And when we undergo real persecution--I mean torture because we cling to our faith and will not renounce Jesus--we really can't see how God loves us.

This piece of literature is not very well thought of here (and in a lot of places), but the doctrine presented in it is what the Lord used to preserve me when I went--and still am going--through the trial of unexpectedly losing my husband. It is the Westminster Confessions of Faith. It's available to read online. If it were not for my understanding of God the way that he is presented, and I believe it is the most correct (though not imperfect) interpretation of the Bible out there, I would have left the faith and I know I would have taken my own life shortly after my husband passed away. I would have thought God was a liar and a cruel tyrannical monster, taking away the things that people love and what give them joy in life. I would have thought he was a stupid, narcissistic A-hole and have despised ever having gotten into Christianity.

We should never base our faith on feelings or on what is happening externally in our life, but on what God says in his word. And he says that ALL THINGS work for good for those who love the Lord and who are called according to his purpose (as those who believe are called into his kingdom, to glorify him and we do love him for he first loved us). We must believe that and trust that what his word says is true, no matter if we are subjected to torture and only because we do love him. That is not something that is easily done and most likely is the most difficult thing to do.

I hope that you will grow in your faith and your knowledge of our awesome Saviour, who is worth every miserable thing that happens to us in our lives. As it is written in one of the epistles (I believe it is Romans 8), These momentary trials cannot be compared to the glory that awaits.

@dhh712 Romans 8 is indeed a tremendous chapter; and its ending - vv. 38-39 - is truly heartening for the believer.

 

[Sabertooth]

It sounds crazy and my motives will sound completely wrong but I was thinking of being a better Christian to please God as a way of getting back at my enemies. If I am rewarded higher in judgement day it will make them very angry,...

That is the kind of worldly thinking that comes from isolating yourself; that is, not growing in a helpful Church.
If that works for you, keep doing that...

Jesus prefers,
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16 NKJV

He wants us to invite them in (to Salvation), not gloat at their destruction.

 

[farouk]

Hi @PossibleThrowawayAccount FYI: "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." (Hebrews 11.6)

If you read the whole of chapter 11 of Hebrews, it contains an amazing list of examples of Old Testament saints who persevered by the faith in which God sustained them. In Hebrews 12.2 it logically follows on to exhort reader to keep "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."

 

[PossibleThrowawayAccount]

It's okay, dear. Know that if you ever change your mind or if I could be of any help to you, please do let me know.

I certainly will. Thank you for being understanding.

He wants us to invite them in (to Salvation), not gloat at their destruction.

Fair point. I want justice and I know it probably won't happen in this life (maybe not even in the next). And even worse is that those people will go on to hurt other people and get away with it.

If you read the whole of chapter 11 of Hebrews, it contains an amazing list of examples of Old Testament saints who persevered by the faith in which God sustained them.

Just finished reading it and found it pretty helpful.

 

[farouk]

I certainly will. Thank you for being understanding.



Fair point. I want justice and I know it probably won't happen in this life (maybe not even in the next). And even worse is that those people will go on to hurt other people and get away with it.



Just finished reading it and found it pretty helpful.

Hi @PossibleThrowawayAccount It's good to do every day what you just did: read a portion of God's Word.

Psalm 119.105: "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."

 

[Sabertooth]

And even worse is that those people will go on to hurt other people and get away with it.

That is all of us apart from Jesus.

 

[Lambano]

I don't know. Is there any other concepts of faith than what I had?

Okay; we can explore what faith is and what is not.

First thing:

The big problem with my faith is that I don't think God cares about me.

Faith trusts the God DOES care about you. To me, that's non-negotiable. Then the next question is, on what basis can you trust that God cares about you?

For me, people whom I did trust told me I could trust that God cares about me. My grandparents. A trusted pastor. Some dear friends from my Bible Study group. I decided to believe them. I decided to believe what Jesus told us. The alternative was despair.

 

[Lambano]

I want justice and I know it probably won't happen in this life (maybe not even in the next).

Faith trusts that God will redeem this world, and in the World-To-Come, things will be set right. That's what Jesus was talking about when He described the Kingdom of God.

"Set right" doesn't mean getting revenge on your enemies. That just leads to more sickness. It looks more like being able to let go of the anger and hatred.

 

[Wrangler]

Sometimes I feel like God doesn't want a relationship with me even though I know otherwise.

For the past few days my problems haven't been bothering me and I have been feeling close to God but I know it won't last.

One moment at a time, my friend.

It sounds crazy and my motives will sound completely wrong but I was thinking of being a better Christian to please God as a way of getting back at my enemies. If I am rewarded higher in judgement day it will make them very angry, even though I am sure they are atheists and will probably be thrown into the lake of fire anyway.

It sounds like you have an opportunity to spiritually grow, to let go of your anger, resentment and attachment to unhealthy things of the past.

Although in normal life, we have to plan. In spiritual life, it's all about remaining in the present. A song lyrics go like this, "I don't know what the day will bring but I know who brings the day."