Is There Hope After Being Assaulted?

[Orchid]

I don't have all the answers. That's something I learned after being sexually assaulted. I finally know that God is still good, even though what happened to me at the beginning of the summer was undeniably not. I want to get back to living again...truly living. I don't know what that feels like anymore. I've been asking God to show me through countless tears. I didn't know where else to go, so I came here. I don't want to share my story on Facebook, when telling anyone I know has been hard. I've only told four people. Facebook would feel like a spotlight on a still healing wound. This felt easier. I ask for kind responses, as being a sexual assault survivor feels almost unbearable some days as it is.

More days than I would like to admit, I can't even leave my home to take the trash out or get the mail. I panic every time a man comes to my door, even if it's just the maintenance man. I'm fighting to keep going, and any progress, no matter how small it may seem, matters. I have God on my side, lifting me up, reminding me that I'm not alone. No one ever tells you how hard recovering from being assaulted is. Maybe that's because none of us really want to talk about it that much. Any prayers are welcome and appreciated. If you've experienced this too, and don't mind sharing, how did you get through it? How did you trust God again?

 

[amadeus]

@Orchid Praying for you sister!

 

[Orchid]

@Orchid Praying for you sister!

Thank you. Your prayers mean a lot.

 

[Mayflower]

I don't have all the answers. That's something I learned after being sexually assaulted. I finally know that God is still good, even though what happened to me at the beginning of the summer was undeniably not. I want to get back to living again...truly living. I don't know what that feels like anymore. I've been asking God to show me through countless tears. I didn't know where else to go, so I came here. I don't want to share my story on Facebook, when telling anyone I know has been hard. I've only told four people. Facebook would feel like a spotlight on a still healing wound. This felt easier. I ask for kind responses, as being a sexual assault survivor feels almost unbearable some days as it is.

More days than I would like to admit, I can't even leave my home to take the trash out or get the mail. I panic every time a man comes to my door, even if it's just the maintenance man. I'm fighting to keep going, and any progress, no matter how small it may seem, matters. I have God on my side, lifting me up, reminding me that I'm not alone. No one ever tells you how hard recovering from being assaulted is. Maybe that's because none of us really want to talk about it that much. Any prayers are welcome and appreciated. If you've experienced this too, and don't mind sharing, how did you get through it? How did you trust God again?

This was very brave to share this here. Thank you for sharing this. I had liked it at first, just because of your bravery, but didnt want it to be confused with what had happened to you. I am so very sorry for what has happened to you.

Just a little bit of my story here, when I was a child I was sexually abused by my dad and had a mentally unstable mom who locked him in the backroom with a deadbolt and chain. It took me years to forgive when memories came back of this. When I was fifeen he came into my room and touched me. This is when my mom and dad divorced.

My only advice in this healing is forgiveness brings freedom. Bitterness sort of eats you up inside. But forgiveness sort of frees you. That hurt and fear, just crying out to God and reaffirming truth He tells you in His Word. It is something done to you but not who you are. You are deeply loved and a daughter of a high king.

I will keep you in prayer and that God strengthens and comforts you in this time.

 

[amadeus]

Thank you. Your prayers mean a lot.

You are very welcome. My closest encounter to your situation occurred more than 40 years ago while I was working. A strange man, a serial rapist, came to our home, shut our two toddlers in a closet and raped my wife. The safety of those two children concerned my wife more than what might be happening to her.

We were very young in the Lord then, but still, when one of the police officers, assigned to the case, suggested to me that they would look the other way if something not nice were to happen to the perpetrator before he was caught and brought to trial, it struck me very wrong. I could not replace God's vengeance with my own, not even for my wife. I remained silent at the suggestion telling no one about it for years other than my wife.

As a result of that event in our home we had some very difficult times. Our pastor of the moment already had ought against my wife because she had been outspoken against him on a few things. He suggested that my wife had instigated the incident which was another strike against that man and that assembly and our connection to it. We needed some help from the ministry not that kind of foolish falsehood.

Enough of that. My wife had an inner strength even before meeting the Lord. With God on her side, I held her close trying to understand her feelings and to help in any way I could. We held on and continued growing closer to each other and to God. We will be celebrating 50 years of marriage to each other this coming June.

The two toddlers now have families of their own including grandchildren of their own. Our God is able in every situation. No matter how bad things may seem, hold always onto His outstretched hand. Do not quit on God. I will have you in prayer.

 

[Lambano]

Orchid, here's some folks you can talk to:

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN): 800-656-HOPE (4673).
Online: RAINN | The nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization

I have God on my side, lifting me up, reminding me that I'm not alone.

You're right; you do have God on your side. You can trust him. I'm praying you find healing, dear sister in Christ.

 

[Orchid]

This was very brave to share this here. Thank you for sharing this. I had liked it at first, just because of your bravery, but didnt want it to be confused with what had happened to you. I am so very sorry for what has happened to you.

Just a little bit of my story here, when I was a child I was sexually abused by my dad and had a mentally unstable mom who locked him in the backroom with a deadbolt and chain. It took me years to forgive when memories came back of this. When I was fifeen he came into my room and touched me. This is when my mom and dad divorced.

My only advice in this healing is forgiveness brings freedom. Bitterness sort of eats you up inside. But forgiveness sort of frees you. That hurt and fear, just crying out to God and reaffirming truth He tells you in His Word. It is something done to you but not who you are. You are deeply loved and a daughter of a high king.

I will keep you in prayer and that God strengthens and comforts you in this time.

Thank you for sharing your story as well, and for your kind words. I had a lot of abuse in my childhood, unfortunately too. I'm sorry you went through all of that. I know being abused is awful. My dad was a wonderful man, but he passed away from Leukemia when I was only 10. He never abused me, but my mother and older sister did. I feel like I've forgiven them, but I'm still working on forgiving the man who sexually assaulted me. It happened in my home...That makes it harder.

I had to see him in court in October, and that was very painful. I felt God's love and presence for me the entire time I was giving my testimony though. God's strength and love are the only way I got through that day. I collapsed in tears as soon as I got out the door into the hallway after giving my testimony. Now I'm waiting for the trial in Circuit court. I'm trying not to focus on it. It's not even scheduled yet because of the pandemic. In a way, that's a relief, because I won't have to see him again for probably well over a year. At least that's what I've been told by my victim advocate and the prosecuting attorney.

 

[Mayflower]

Thank you for sharing your story as well, and for your kind words. I had a lot of abuse in my childhood, unfortunately too. I'm sorry you went through all of that. I know being abused is awful. My dad was a wonderful man, but he passed away from Leukemia when I was only 10. He never abused me, but my mother and older sister did. I feel like I've forgiven them, but I'm still working on forgiving the man who sexually assaulted me. It happened in my home...That makes it harder.

I had to see him in court in October, and that was very painful. I felt God's love and presence for me the entire time I was giving my testimony though. God's strength and love are the only way I got through that day. I collapsed in tears as soon as I got out the door into the hallway after giving my testimony. Now I'm waiting for the trial in Circuit court. I'm trying not to focus on it. It's not even scheduled yet because of the pandemic. In a way, that's a relief, because I won't have to see him again for probably well over a year. At least that's what I've been told by my victim advocate and the prosecuting attorney.

I pray justice is served here and you can find healing, Orchid.

 

[Orchid]

You are very welcome. My closest encounter to your situation occurred more than 40 years ago while I was working. A strange man, a serial rapist, came to our home, shut our two toddlers in a closet and raped my wife. The safety of those two children concerned my wife more than what might be happening to her.

We were very young in the Lord then, but still, when one of the police officers, assigned to the case, suggested to me that they would look the other way if something not nice were to happen to the perpetrator before he was caught and brought to trial, it struck me very wrong. I could not replace God's vengeance with my own, not even for my wife. I remained silent at the suggestion telling no one about it for years other than my wife.

As a result of that event in our home we had some very difficult times. Our pastor of the moment already had ought against my wife because she had been outspoken against him on a few things. He suggested that my wife had instigated the incident which was another strike against that man and that assembly and our connection to it. We needed some help from the ministry not that kind of foolish falsehood.

Enough of that. My wife had an inner strength even before meeting the Lord. With God on her side, I held her close trying to understand her feelings and to help in any way I could. We held on and continued growing closer to each other and to God. We will be celebrating 50 years of marriage to each other this coming June.

The two toddlers now have families of their own including grandchildren of their own. Our God is able in every situation. No matter how bad things may seem, hold always onto His outstretched hand. Do not quit on God. I will have you in prayer.

Thank you for your encouraging words, and congratulations on 50 years together.