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Seeking feedback regarding Honoring your parents

Discussion in 'Christian Newbies' started by hardtotellhardtosell, Jul 2, 2021.

  1. hardtotellhardtosell

    hardtotellhardtosell New Member

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    hiiii, recently my faith has been renewed. as in the last week.

    my current struggle is honoring my parents with a new awareness regarding abuse and neglect.

    i’m learning to set healthy boundaries within all of my relationships. how do i heal, forgive, and honor without subjecting myself to more abuse or manipulation?

    i comply with their demands out of guilt and my pursuit is to comply out of love and understanding without casting judgement. am i commanded to comply or submit to all of their demands? is it ok to take some alone time?

    i have two brothers trying to navigate with the same awareness. we are all around the age of 30. sometimes it feels like i am enabling my parents who continue to harm my brothers as well. the dynamic is very perplexing. my parents are not together and profess to be believers. they also encourage each of us to side with either one of them and also try to divide (or so it seems) us as siblings.

    i go through these cycles of feeling hurt, betrayed, rage, then understanding and wanting to forgive. and i still have this hunger for their validation.

    any and all feedback welcome here. thank you for your time!
     
  2. quietthinker

    quietthinker Well-Known Member

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    Identifying healthy and non healthy is an unfolding and ongoing process, hardtotellhardtoseII. I start with not 'people pleasing' because I have found it ends up a tangled mess. As Desiderata says, speak your truth quietly and clearly with respect....and silence often goes a long way.

    You will need courage and strength from above. If they will not hear you, leave them be. Nothing constructive is achieved by force or ego assertion.

    Forgiveness for them as far as your experience of it is concerned starts with your choice as you have done and it continues with your choice. When your thoughts and emotions surface to rage and hurt, confirm again that you choose to forgive and be instant in prayer for help. The peace and clarity you seek will come in time. I speak from experience.
     
  3. GRACE ambassador

    GRACE ambassador Well-Known Member

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    Precious friend, hardtotellhardtosell, welcome to the board as a New Member!
    I was taught early in my faith walk, to forgive all "abuse and neglect" that I had
    before, forget it {so it doesn't rule my life}, And Most Important to Always
    stay With The Scriptures, regardless what men may teach and suggest...
    I hope the following "study" will be helpful And encouraging as you

    "walk in renewal of faith!": GRACE Word for infirmities

    Remember God Is FOR us, no matter what we have to suffer {#7}:

    God's ALL-Sufficient GRACE in our infirmities

    Grace And Peace to All Precious friend(s), Dear readers,
    and, diligent students of God's Holy Word! Praying Hopefully
    The Following Scriptures Will Bring God's "Peace, Hope, And
    Comfort" into your life in This Current Dispensation Of The
    Amazing GRACE Of A Wonderful God!:

    (1) In That GRACE, God, In HIS Omniscience, Had Already
    Chosen HIS Own In CHRIST, And Already Knew What
    "infirmities, trouble, trials, afflictions, sufferings, And
    persecutions we would go through,” And, Thank HIM, HE
    "Promised" HE Will Never Give us more testing than
    we can handle. (Ephesians_1:4; 1_Corinthians_10:13 KJB!)
    Amen?

    (2) Please, Precious friend(s):
    Thank God IN {easy}, And, Also, FOR {Difficult?}, ALL things!
    (1_Thessalonians_5:18; Ephesians_5:20 KJB!)

    (3) After Paul (our #"pattern"# for Today!), prayed 3 times
    for his affliction, the "Answer he Received," According To The
    Scriptures, Was:

    "And HE {CHRIST} Said Unto me, MY GRACE Is Sufficient For
    thee: For MY Strength Is Made Perfect in weakness. Most gladly
    therefore will I rather glory {cp} in my infirmities, that The
    Power Of CHRIST May Rest Upon me!"
    (2_Corinthians_12:9 KJB!) {cp 2_Corinthians_11:23-30 KJB!}

    (4) "For our light affliction, which Is But For A Moment, worketh
    for us a Far More Exceeding And Eternal weight of glory; While
    we look Not at the things which are seen, but at the things
    Which Are Not Seen: for the things which are seen [are]
    temporal; but the things Which Are Not Seen Are Eternal!"
    (2_Corinthians_4:17-18 KJB!)

    (5) "For I reckon that The Sufferings of this PRESENT Time
    are not worthy to be compared with The Glory which shall be
    revealed in us. For the earnest EXPECTation of the creature
    WAITeth for the manifestation of the sons of God...

    ...ourselves also, which have The Firstfruits Of The Spirit,
    even we ourselves groan within ourselves, WAITING for
    The Adoption, to wit, The Redemption Of our body!"
    (Romans_8:18, 19, 23 KJB!) Blessed Hope! Amen?

    (6) "Therefore being justified by faith, we have Peace with
    God through our LORD JESUS CHRIST: By Whom also we
    have access by faith into This GRACE Wherein we stand,
    and rejoice in Hope of The Glory of God.

    And not only so, but we glory {cp} in tribulations also: knowing
    that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience;
    and experience, Hope: And Hope maketh not ashamed; because
    The Love Of God Is Shed Abroad in our hearts By The Holy Ghost
    Which Is Given Unto us!"
    (Romans_5:1-5 KJB!) {cp 2_Corinthians_11:23-30 KJB!}

    (7!) ”And HE That Searcheth the hearts Knoweth What Is The
    Mind Of The Spirit, Because HE Maketh Intercession for the
    saints According To The Will Of God. Likewise The Spirit Also
    Helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray
    for as we ought: But The Spirit Itself Maketh Intercession
    For us with groanings which cannot be uttered!”
    (Romans_8:27-28 KJB!)

    (8!) "Blessed Be God, Even The Father Of our LORD JESUS CHRIST,
    The Father Of Mercies, And The God of ALL Comfort; Who Comforteth
    us in All our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which
    are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves Are
    Comforted Of God!" (2_Corinthians_1:3-4 KJB!)

    (9!) Please, always be “watching, Patiently waiting And Looking For”
    That Blessed HOPE, The Imminent Return Of our LORD To Take us
    Home To HEAVEN, In GLORIFICATION! {Thus, ENDING ALL of our
    "infirmities, trouble, trials, afflictions, sufferings, And persecutions!”}
    (Ephesians_6:18; 1_Corinthians_15:51-57; 2_Corinthians_5:1-9;
    2_Thessalonians_4:13-18 KJB!) = WONDERFUL Comfort! Amen?

    (10) ”And we know That All things Work Together For Good To
    them that love God, to them who Are The Called According To
    HIS Purpose!” (Romans_8:28 KJB!)

    (11a) Please memorize 2 Timothy_4:8 KJB!:

    "Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness,
    which The LORD, The Righteous Judge, Shall Give me At That Day:
    and not to me only, but unto all them also that love HIS Appearing!"

    (11b) Please Prayerfully/Carefully study 1_Corinthians_3:8-15 KJB!,
    And "know" that, At "That Day {The JUDGMENT Seat}” Of CHRIST,
    In HEAVEN, ALL "good works of preaching The Gospel of GRACE,
    studying The Word Of Truth, Rightly Divided, and, loving/helping others"
    WILL Surely Be "rewarded As gold, silver, And precious stones!"
    Amen?

    (12) For ALL those who humbly:
    Trust CHRIST As their Personal SAVIOUR, The Bible Says:

    a): “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of
    power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
    (2_Timothy_1:7 KJB!)

    b): “Be careful [anxious] for nothing; but in every thing by
    prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests
    be made known unto God. And the PEACE Of God, Which Passeth
    all understanding, Shall Keep your hearts and minds through
    CHRIST JESUS.

    Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are True, whatsoever
    things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever
    things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever
    things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there
    be any praise, think on these things.”
    (Philippians_4:6-8 KJB!)

    c): # “Those things, which ye have both learned, and
    received, and heard, and seen in me, [Paul!] do: # And
    The God Of PEACE Shall Be With you.”
    (Philippians_4:9 KJB!)

    Conclusion, for ALL of the “just who live BY FAITH” {NOT feelings…}:

    "For unto you It Is Given in the Behalf Of CHRIST, not only
    to believe on HIM, But Also to suffer for HIS Sake"
    (Philippians_1:29 KJB!)
    ------------------------------
    Again, Precious friend, please:
    Always Be Very RICHLY Blessed In The LORD And Saviour, JESUS CHRIST!
     
  4. MatthewG

    MatthewG Well-Known Member

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    Pray.
     
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