Talking to strangers is the best thing for mental health

[dev553344]

I read this on my browser news feed, Why Talking to Strangers Is the Best Thing You Can Do for Your Mental Health

But I live in the ghetto so it's not totally advisable. A lot of the people here are hostile and angry people. LOL! You learn to not make too much eye contact with certain types. Some of the people are friendly, but it's about 50%.

 

[Debp]

I read this on my browser news feed, Why Talking to Strangers Is the Best Thing You Can Do for Your Mental Health

But I live in the ghetto so it's not totally advisable. A lot of the people here are hostile and angry people. LOL! You learn to not make too much eye contact with certain types. Some of the people are friendly, but it's about 50%.

I can understand your situation.

I usually greet everyone. But once in a while, there might be a person that you can't greet. You discern that it might be dangerous to do so.

Btw, if you don't mind telling, what State are you in? If you prefer not to say, that's ok.

 

[Lambano]

Mom told me not to talk to strangers. I've tried to obey that all my life.

 

[Debp]

I think it helps people not to feel alone....like even saying hi to neighbors.
Some of my neighbors have become friends because I always greeted them.

Now that I'm a senior citizen, some even help me get some groceries since I don't have a car anymore.

 

[dev553344]

I can understand your situation.

I usually greet everyone. But once in a while, there might be a person that you can't greet. You discern that it might be dangerous to do so.

Btw, if you don't mind telling, what State are you in? If you prefer not to say, that's ok.

I'm near Seattle Washington. Yes we have a huge homeless person problem.

 

[dev553344]

Mom told me not to talk to strangers. I've tried to obey that all my life.

Hmmm, you talk to me and I'm a stranger.

 

[dev553344]

I think it helps people not to feel alone....like even saying hi to neighbors.
Some of my neighbors have become friends because I always greeted them.

Now that I'm a senior citizen, some even help me get some groceries since I don't have a car anymore.

That's got to be difficult. I have a car and use it to get groceries. But years ago I didn't and had to carry the groceries from the store to home. Not easy when you're carrying gallons of milk.

 

[St. SteVen]

Very interesting topic, thanks.

But I live in the ghetto so it's not totally advisable.

Yes, that makes things more challenging.

A lot of the people here are hostile and angry people. LOL!

They would be LESS hostile and angry if they knew someone cared about them.

You learn to not make too much eye contact with certain types.

Yes, you need some street smarts.
But, many will respond positively to a caring person.

Some of the people are friendly, but it's about 50%.

Well, 50% is PLENTY for helping with your mental health goal.

I have a bit of a gift when it comes to taking to strangers.
I can make friends in line at the grocer. Drives my wife crazy. - LOL

Once when I was alone at the grocer checkout I talked to the guy in front of me.
He definitely looked like someone you wouldn't want to talk to.
He was wearing a Hell's Angels style motorcycle jacket. Looked like a rough character.

I complimented him on his cool jacket, not expecting more than a sneer in return.
Surprisingly, he responded well, Filling me in on the details of the work he had done.
He was all smiles, wishing me a good day as we parted.

I haven't been afraid of anyone since.

I think the key is to GET people talking about themselves,
and KEEP them talking about themselves. In general people are very lonely.
They WANT to engage with ANYONE that will show an interest.

I KEEP the conversation moving by formulating questions about what they just said.
Rather than talk about myself, I want THEM to talk about their interests.

ANY comment they make is a pathway to MORE. Well...
unless they tell you to leave them alone. - LOL
Although, I might keep the conversation going, to find what is wrong.
But that may take all the tact and diplomacy I can muster.

Anyone that can do that has mastered the art of conversation.

But enough about me, what do you think about all this?
Was this post helpful? Love the topic. (obviously) - LOL
Let's talk!

 

[St. SteVen]

@dev553344
There's a biblical principle at work here as well.

Philippians 2:3-4 NIV
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
4 not looking to your own interests but each of you
to the interests of the others.

 

[dev553344]

Very interesting topic, thanks.

Yes, that makes things more challenging.

They would be LESS hostile and angry if they knew someone cared about them.

Yes, you need some street smarts.
But, many will respond positively to a caring person.

Well, 50% is PLENTY for helping with your mental health goal.

I have a bit of a gift when it comes to taking to strangers.
I can make friends in line at the grocer. Drives my wife crazy. - LOL

Once when I was alone at the grocer checkout I talked to the guy in front of me.
He definitely looked like someone you wouldn't want to talk to.
He was wearing a Hell's Angels style motorcycle jacket. Looked like a rough character.

I complimented him on his cool jacket, not expecting more than a sneer in return.
Surprisingly, he responded well, Filling me in on the details of the work he had done.
He was all smiles, wishing me a good day as we parted.

I haven't been afraid of anyone since.

I think the key is to GET people talking about themselves,
and KEEP them talking about themselves. In general people are very lonely.
They WANT to engage with ANYONE that will show an interest.

I KEEP the conversation moving by formulating questions about what they just said.
Rather than talk about myself, I want THEM to talk about their interests.

ANY comment they make is a pathway to MORE. Well...
unless they tell you to leave them alone. - LOL
Although, I might keep the conversation going, to find what is wrong.
But that may take all the tact and diplomacy I can muster.

Anyone that can do that has mastered the art of conversation.

But enough about me, what do you think about all this?
Was this post helpful? Love the topic. (obviously) - LOL
Let's talk!

This doesn't apply here, but is also sound advice. The problem we have here is that 25% of the people here are mentally ill and violently dangerous. They don't take their mental health meds and scream out bloody murder as they walk by. It's quite a different story. If you talk to them they become hostile and dangerous. They usually end up in jail because of that.

 

[dev553344]

BTW, I know who to approach and talk to. It is something you learn from living here. The types that are dangerous and hostile you can see from a distance. They have a usual behavior pattern.

 

[St. SteVen]

BTW, I know who to approach and talk to. It is something you learn from living here. The types that are dangerous and hostile you can see from a distance. They have a usual behavior pattern.

Okay...
In the interest of your mental health, have you increased your interaction with strangers yet?
Or is the topic simply a cognitive exercise in interesting theories?

Perhaps I missed your point entirely...
Maybe you were trying to say that talking to strangers will simply NOT work for you?
So... what will work for you then? Should we discuss that?

 

[dev553344]

Okay...
In the interest of your mental health, have you increased your interaction with strangers yet?
Or is the topic simply a cognitive exercise in interesting theories?

Perhaps I missed your point entirely...
Maybe you were trying to say that talking to strangers will simply NOT work for you?
So... what will work for you then? Should we discuss that?

Funny. Yes I am mentally ill, and when I am not on meds I am aggressive and dangerous. I spent a year in prison because of that. So now I never get off my meds. I have been out of prison for over 10 years now.

I have increased my communication with people. It is usually the guy at the grocery store and a little to the people on my walks. But the walks are full of mentally ill people that don't take their meds. I'm not sure if you comprehend that aspect as you haven't experienced mental illness yourself.

 

[dev553344]

PS I don't think it's just strangers. Just having family around can improve mental health also.

 

[St. SteVen]

I'm not sure if you comprehend that aspect as you haven't experienced mental illness yourself.

I believe we all have mental illness to one degree or another.

I used to have a close church friend who I discovered was schizophrenic.
The relationship became so bad that my wife and a pastor forbid me contact with that person any more.
Too bad, really. We were great friends at the beginning. But then... years later... (best not to discuss it)

 

[dev553344]

I believe we all have mental illness to one degree or another.

I used to have a close church friend who I discovered was schizophrenic.
The relationship became so bad that my wife and a pastor forbid me contact with that person any more.
Too bad, really. We were great friends at the beginning. But then... years later... (best not to discuss it)

Yes well it is good to open up to the right person. But opening up to the wrong person could be more damaging than productive.

 

[St. SteVen]

Yes well it is good to open up to the right person. But opening up to the wrong person could be more damaging than productive.

Before we parted ways, he thanked me for what I had done for him.
Saying, "I don't know where I would have ended up without your friendship." (from memory)
He had moved to the USA after a messy divorce.

I have been a support for many divorced men over the years.
The key to my success in that area is to just be friends with them. No talk about divorce, unless they ask.
I think they just need someone to be their friend, with no talk about divorce.

 

[St. SteVen]

PS I don't think it's just strangers. Just having family around can improve mental health also.

Can I call you "friend"?

 

[dev553344]

Can I call you "friend"?

Sure, we don't share the same theology I see, but we can be friendly.

 

[St. SteVen]

... we don't share the same theology...

Who does?
We should ALL disagree on at least one point of theology.
Doctrine is man-made, after all. There is no consensus.
Volumes have been published about the differences.

Unless you are in favor of the tyranny of "doctrinal unity".
But then who decides what you will believe?
Shouldn't it be you?