What is on my heart today is something I never shared before.
When I first had an encounter with the Lord, he told me to give up on witchcraft and to trust him, I was led on a journey that would change my life.
I did not know there would be a battle. I fell under attack with delusions, false encounters, false signs, multiple false dreams, false signs, false hope, and went on my way filled with pride thinking I was fit to teach - and I was not. I went through concordances trying to figure out why I keep seeing this number and that one. I kept hearing, but it was not from the spirit.
I was worn out, exhausted, and felt defeated. I believed the Lord was giving up on me. I believed he was punishing me.
One day I decided I was going to teach. I was strongly rebuked. The man told me to stop what I was doing because it was occultic. And my position was from the standpoint of pride. I believed he could not possibly understand because I was in the right and the delusions I had seen.
Here was my greatest mistake: I took more confidence in signs than His sovereignty. I was living in sin and I had not fully given up on the flesh. I was not living by the spirit. I exalted in myself instead of exalting him. I was overcome with such a feeling of pride and power - let me explain this.
If you are operating by the flesh and involved in demonic work, the enemy will use a spirit of narcissism, delusions of grandeur, and a false feeling of power to control us and lead us astray from the will of God.
Here I thought I was some mighty warrior sent to change the world, and what did I actually look like? Nuts! Narcissistic, delusional, full of myself, craving attention, and crazy.
I didn't stand in obedience because I trusted what I wanted more than I trusted God.
God took me to a position of humbling myself. The Lord calls us to live in obedience. If we truly want to walk in the spirit, we must be living according to the will of God and trust that he has control. And trusting him means trusting him.
Many turn to astrology, tarot cards, different forms of magic for either escapism or some idea of hope for things to come- but it is fantasy and it is against God! And I believed what I was doing was Christian, but it was not!!!
I pray that God will use my testimony to benefit his glory, first so you can see how the Lord changes a heart through obedience to his word and how Christ fulfilled his purpose.
Do you get the underlying message here? Take confidence in the Lord, that is what the cross is for!
And second, so that all may be reminded that the Lord disciplines who he loves. Do not be afraid or think he is against you. The Lord's anger is his compassion on his children.
Hebrews 12:4-6
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons:
“My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you.
For the Lord disciplines the one He loves,
and He chastises every son He receives.”
