I have not been out since 16th March. So far I feel totally at peace with staying home and believe that such deep peace can only come from God. I feel that I will know when it is safe for me to go out again. My grandaughter tested positive last week so my daughter, husband and two grown children are in quarantine. Also three others in my extended family have had it and two have died. The only people we see are my son, little grandaughter and her mum because they are our 'bubble'. I have found a deep contentment during the last few months and it has simplified mu life. I will be glad when it's all over though, so that I can see my family again and my new great grandson who is now nine months old.
It's good to hear that you have been able to find that peace to be able to endure staying at home for 8 months...
I know from my time in prison that torment can only be eased by the presence of God.
We're all in different places dealing with different situations so we can only tell our experiences...
In Melbourne here i haven't worked for 8 months. Iv moved back with my parents to avoid spiraling into debt. Whoever savings and plans i had are gone, o own nothing but my vehicle... Covid wise i still have not heard of anyone who has had it but everyone i know has been damaged by this 8 month continual lockdown including the suicide of 3 people including my cousin age 38yo... I know families who are homeless and have nothing but the grace of friends to keep them sheltered for now, others are spiraling into huge debt still paying all the bills without working....
All this for what i ask. I don't see any devastation here from covid. The devastation i see is from locking down 5 million healthy people in a city that has had 0 cases for weeks now... The term selfish gets thrower around too much i think... How long are we expected to stay here, how many more of my friends need to walk off a bridge and for what, for who, a number on a TV thats all i see about covid here, numbers on a TV...
So much of it makes no sense at all... Lockdowns have never been proven to solve anything... Why are millions of healthy people being isolated, quarantine the sick not us healthy people and call me selfish for worrying about where im going to live tmrw or which one of my mates will break sanity next... Why do i have to weak a mask stilll here, outside in the park on my own,,, Why... Ok yes i am selfish im not wearing no stoopid muzzle outside on my own, thats not logical and forcing us to do so is a violation... What ever happened to covering our mouths when we coughed and sneezed... remember that old safety measure that worked for 8 thousand years??? Anyone remember that??? But now im not trusted to do that. I must wear a mask for that one rare moment where i might sneeze in someone's face... What dio guys think we are, barbarians...
Then there is the whole vaccine scandal... They want to vaccinate me against a virus that is so mild to me that my chances of death are 0.05%.
This vaccine is only 50% effective, my immune system is 99.95% effective.
The vaccine will stop symptoms but not infection... Then what is the use. Im meant to be getting vaxed for everyone else yet it won't stop transmission... What is the use then...
The vax will kill and maime millions of people. And the makers are exempt from litigation...
So i must take this vaxine for a virus that is not dangerous to me. Yet it won't stop transmission and is only 50% effective compared to 99.95% effectiveness of my immune system. Oh and if the vaccine cripples you thats just bad luck, its not our fault. You will be left to suffer without litigation... What kind of insane prospect is that... And im the selfish one... Get lost
My challenge now is to look ahead, forget about the last 20 years of my life try to be positive looking forward... My industry in this state is destroyed and my previous jail time means that they'll throw mre back in for a traffic offence again... I can't do that, go back to jail without even committing a crime, the torment is already too much at times, PTSD... So i need to find peace in leaving my state, family, friends and moving state, living, sleeping out of my car as i try to find work, start over, etc... Im afraid, i will miss everyone and i must try to let go of any resentment towards society, again...
Forgiving people is easy compared to a system. How do u forgive a system that has done nothing but destroy your life and your loved ones... Apathetic is what i need to find, peace and happiness with nothingness
