Maybe try fasting (and at the same time, praying constantly, repenting of all sins, being energetic in doing charity, etc.), I think it is the secret to unlocking the door.
Weird things started happening when I was fasting for several days in a row. I had to break my fast because I was starting to worry I was driving myself crazy... for example, I felt an evil presence coming from my cellphone, I looked through it and realized I had hundreds of hateful images saved, I started to delete them one by one, and I cried out loud "I can't believe that I had so much hatred for others... this is not who I am!" and right away as soon as I said that, my phone froze up and stopped responding to me, and it took me to a profile menu, tagged a bunch of hateful pictures, with the message "Who is this?" on screen, then it selected my profile with the message "You", before unfreezing, as if to say "these hateful things are who you are" in mockery of me. At the height of the experience, I was so shaken that I told my wife "I will never eat again, I would rather starve to death" because I knew that I would return to normal when I broke my fast, and I didn't want my eyes to be closed. Obviously she talked me into eating and I went back to normal. I haven't fasted since because it was an intense experience and I'm still recovering from it all.
I dunno, maybe you'll have a wild ride too if you can put in 110% effort into religious zeal.
