I was a Christian for 18 years. I gave my life over to God was baptized in Christ believed, studied and followed the teachings of Jesus as best I could. I went to a biblical based church where we discussed the bible twice a week with ministers and other Christians. I prayed and studied the bible almost every day and taught others about Jesus. Participated in my church, went on mission trips, lead a youth bible group etc. etc.
You never received the Holy Spirit...? Did you speak with others about that? More importantly, did you ask God for the Spirit?
I have heard a man say he asked but got no answer. I puzzled over it at the time. I believed he was being sincere and I remember thinking that if he got no answer, maybe it was because he wasn't ready to turn from the world and God knew that.
I think if you are here, you might be ready. If I were you, I would read the book of John and ask Him again.
I think...we all have to hit some point in time where the world loses its lure for us, where we see that it's not sufficient, where we begin to wonder why all the things that others think make them happy do not make us happy.
I was somewhat like you except that I was 14 and went to church with my dad one day and went forward at the "altar call." Then I was baptized and went to church for a while. But then I met a boy and didn't return to church.
I was 42 before I had some sort of...crisis moment, although it was not a dramatic crisis. I just got tired of doing all the things I was supposed to do because they left me empty while others seemed to be content and happy. College, marriage, workplace, buy a house, nice car, exotic vacations, save money, have nice dinners out, redecorate the house, blah, blah, blah.
I came to a point where I saw that if its all there was and the pain outweighed any brief happiness and then I would die in the end anyway, then those who committed suicide were the smartest among us.
That was when God put a bible in my hands and I read the gospel and could suddenly see. Even though I had heard the gospel before when I was 14, and even though I had done church for a while, and even though I was taught to say the right things and was accepted by the church, I never received the Holy Spirit and they baptized me anyway. I don't think they should have...I think someone should have been able to see I didn't receive the Spirit and refuse to baptize me. I don't know...