What would you do?

[Riven]

@Riven you’ve received considerable response to your thread, and from a variety of conflicting perspectives.

The question in my mind now, and probably in the minds of others, is what are you doing about it?

Take some time to consider things.

 

[PS95]

Your baby brother dies while you are still a child. You've never really lived life, just on autopilot. You're in debt up to your eyeballs. You're addicted to alchol just to take the edge off.

I dont know what to do. Sometimes I feel like life isn't worth living. The pain of everything is just do much to endure. I think about Jesus and what he endured on the cross. It makes me want to keep going.

But it's just such an awful existence. To exist for others, but never truly live. I hate it so much. I don't know what to do. I can't rely on myself, just screw everything up.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to burden others with my problems. But it's just so hard. It wasn't supposed to be so hard. Living life shouldn't be a disaster at every waking moment. I just want to be happy. I want to be able to tell Jesus that in sorry. That I tried so hard. I tried my best to believe in him.

In my heart, that's where I am. An overwhelming sense of sadness and hopelessness. If this is what hell feels like, then I'm already there.

Hey Riven,
I'm sorry to learn of the loss of your brother. That's very sad. This life is not understandable often. I've had my share of really hard things as well. If you don't mind, I would like to share with you what has helped me. It took me a long time to get the courage but once I did, I realized that I shouldn't have waited.
Express through prayer to God just how difficult that experience was, and don't hold back- tell Him all of it. He already knows your heart anyway, but I found intimacy with Him when I was just downright honest about all things. He made you and he made your brother and he understands pain. Don't give up- keep talking to Him. Be honest about how you feel, and your doubts and your sorrows, your failings, your desire to know Him, and everything you can think of to discuss with Him. You believe Jesus is God's Son. You struggle with things and so do we all. He will hear you. Talk to Him.
We can study and read all of our lives but nothing is better than opening your heart in prayer. He isn't called Wonderful Counselor for nothing. He still heals.

I fully believe that your brother will be resurrected one day by the Lord Jesus. I know that doesn't change things now, but it is a promise to hope & rely upon.

 

[Matthias]

Take some time to consider things.

Is there all that much to consider?

27 years and counting.

 

[Matthias]

“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid doing it.”

(Manson’s Law of Avoidance)