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A rough road you've had to travel, but I'm glad that you are an essential part of the Body of Christ.Well, I could say it was due to the fact that enough Christians told me what a stupid, evil, liar I am and that all I ever do is make excuses and lead people to Hell with my nonsense about love. And it was only then that I realized that sarcasm and resentment and bitterness and just plain nastiness was the real path to Heaven! But that would not be accurate. ;)
I have been lead by the Spirit into a deeper relationship with God, as the years of my life have passed. After experiencing God in prayer a couple of years ago, I realized that God has been with me throughout my life and has always wanted me to be apart of His Body - just like He longs to be in communion with all of us.
http://youtu.be/EAuh33_G5D0A rough road you've had to travel, but I'm glad that you are an essential part of the Body of Christ.
A rough road you've had to travel, but I'm glad that you are an essential part of the Body of Christ.
Wow, what an amazing testimony of how uniquely God draws us to Himself...He uses everything in our life to point us unto Him. He used your father's abuse to give you a longing for a friend, He gave you a friend that knew Him and was'nt afraid to show it, He used your gift for music to keep you involved in the church, He showed you the words "believe" and "repent" , the Holy Spirit prompted you to do so in your bedroom and the rest is history. If any one of these things had'nt happened, the projectory of your life could have been different as is the case with each individual testimony of how we came to know the Lord. God's timing and design is perfect, He is the lover of our souls and there is nothing He would'nt do to get us safely in His arms and for us to finally realize that it is real.I'll try to give you the shortened version, but I need to give you a little history first. Thanks to an abusive dad, I grew up shy and withdrawn and had no friends. Thanks to my dad, I had a sever stutter because of m y fear of him. When I was 16, I met a 15-year-old boy who was a Christian who wasn't afraid to witness--even on a street corner with other teens laughing at him.
One day he invited me to his church. I didn't want to go, but I was afraid he wouldn't want to be my friend if I said no. I was so desperate for a friend that i was even willing to have a Christian as my friend.
My first Sunday there, he asked me during the invitation after the service (which northern Baptist churches do), "Are you saved?" I had no idea what that meant, chuckled and replied, "Hard telling." He said, "It's no laughing matter!" It was to me. Saved? Saved from what? After the service, I was taken to a back room, told to get down on my knees and someone said, "Repeat these words after me." Being afraid of adults and afraid to say that I had no idea what was going on, I did as I was told--not knowing what the words meant. They were just words to me and had no meaning to me.
When I went home after the service, my dad jokingly asked me, "Well, did you get saved?" He was rasied a 7th Day Adventist, but he certainly was not a Christian. A lot of non-Christians know the words but don't take them to heart. I said, "Yes, but I don't know what from." At my reply to his question, we all laughed.
However, I found something at that church that I wasn't getting from my dad, love and acceptance, and I kept going. I don't know when i started thinking of myself as a Christian, but I certainly wasn't saved. I found that I had a talent for singing and got involved in the music ministry. The praises I got for my singing caused my head to swell, and I loved the attention I was getting. I went to every service and even went to special services at other Baptist churches that that church was involved with and even skipped school a lot to do it. For the next year (almost a year), I had doubts in my mind that I was saved once I learned what "saved" meant.
Now, jump forward nearly a year to May 18, 1963 when I was 17. I was in my bedroolm just after midnight on a Friday night/Saturday morning. I was reading in the New Testament and came across the words "believe" and "repent". I thought back to that day on June 1 of the previous year and realized that I had done neither of those, and suddenly I became more afraid and felt such terror as I had never felt even with my dad's abuse. I was still LOST in my sins! I thought, "What if I step out in the road and get run over by a car (Yes, that actually went through my mind)?
I got on my knees at my bedside and softly called out (My parents were in bed next to my room), "Lord, please forgive me and save me!" Suddenly, I literally felt a heavy load being lifted from my shoulders, and such peace as I had never known flooded through me! At that moment, all fear and doubts left me, and I knew I was truly forgiven and saved. I no longer had to fear death, for I was safely in Christ.
I had heard the gospel for that year (minus 2 weeks), but I thought I was a Christian. Satan had been telling me I was saved, and the Holy Spirit was telling me I wasn't, but I thought it was the other way around--until that night in my bedroom when the Holy Spirit finally won, and my eyes and mind were opened to the truth that I was still lost in my sins. My "conversion" had been a lie, because I had not believed, trusted by faith, or repented that day nearly a year earlier.
Now I often think of the song "I Know It's Real!" "The doubts are gone, and I know, I know it's real! I was safely in Christ and KNEW it!
I think I've seen Tony Campollo a couple of times on TBN...good teacherI actually accepted Jesus as my Savior as a kid in a first grade class in a Christian school - unfortunately, my teacher was a bit on the zealous side - she gave us the opportunity to accept Jesus every day. And I took it! I really thought God was senile like my grandfather. Then I forgot about God until I went to hear Tony Campollo speak at Arco Arena. - then I got saved again. Then when I was listening to Dawson McAllister and I got saved again at an alter call - and then again the next year I heard him speak. Then in HS I got saved about twenty times at daily chapel alter calls.
It was only when I decided to become Catholic and stopped worrying about whether I am saved that I started engaging in a deep relationship with God