I don't want to disrespect anyone because I get it. I get that no one can judge or decide for another when they have no idea what a person goes through daily. So, my questions are just that, questions I ask pertaining to me; not meant to force it on another. My life has been "manageable" through an antidepressant. I get by. But it has been no life. Yet He promises life in abundance. Joy. Peace. Health to bones.
Why am I so miserable that I must turn to a pill to get through a single day? It is a legitimate question. I have experienced panic attacks for the twenty years I have been on an antidepressant which was supposed to be corrected by the medicine. Sometimes it work. Sometimes not. Panic attacks caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain were still a part of me. The panic attacks are completely gone now. And I know how: my internal monologue changed. It went from "you have everything to fear" to "you have nothing to fear, because He is in control." He promises if I continued in His word the truth would set me free. He promised things would change with a renewed mind.
Lately, God has been telling me I don't need a pill to hope for joy and peace. His word says: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." (Php. 4:8) Virtue is strength. Virtue is what went out of Jesus when He was touched by someone in need of healing. His virtue. His strength. Are we not supposed to have it? "For the joy of the Lord is your strength"
We now have autoimmune diseases that doctors can not even understand why they happen. So many illnesses. We blame it on diet and pesticides. But what if a large part of our sicknesses is from being... sad. A large part of the world is sad, and on antidepressants. Show me a teenager on heavy meds for their "cutting" themselves...and you will see someone miserable and in torment. Like Legion. There is a heavy sadness in the world that, I look around and I don't really see anyone experiencing joy of any kind. Depression seems to be a commonality. But we are called to be the light? If I can't walk in joy and peace; in praise that I am free...how can I model it to those without the gate, without the city? It is a fact that endorphins and dopamine play a key part in health and ward off stress. Without joy; our body becomes susceptible to cancer, disease, and autoimmune. When our dopamine is out of wack...we search for all sorts of ways to receive a "pick me up". But what if the enemy has us seeking the wrong cure. What if it is "His joy" which arms us? What if the enemy wants us numb and juggling doses to feel half-way normal...to keep us from seeing there is more freedom for those that are His, than living "manageable".
I realize sin brings suffering. Yet shall not the crooked path be made straight, and the rough ways smooth...