Christians mistreating other Christians over doctrinal differences

[Soverign Grace]

I've been a believer over 40 years and throughout that time I've met a lot of good people, yet I've also seen Christians become abusive to other Christians over doctrinal differences. A believer that I respect said to me a long time ago: "Christians like to cut other Christians up."

Why is this?

How can those who claim to have Christ's spirit within turn around and abuse another believer just because he or she has a difference of opinion? Why do they think it's okay as long as they think it's "for the Lord"?

It's okay to disagree yet we see people cross the line and start getting downright MEAN.

James 3:10

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”

 

[Invisibilis]

...
How can those who claim to have Christ's spirit within turn around and abuse another believer just because he or she has a difference of opinion?...

Ignorance breeds arrogance.

Ignorance ignores the truth to the point that the person can only hear themselves. Because they don't hear other peoples opinion, they think their opinion is the only one, and superior to others; hence arrogance, and self-righteousness, is born. They not only become dishonest to themselves, but expect others to agree with them and become be equally dishonest.

Christians who are not honest with themselves are prone to be ignorant and arrogant. Without consciousness of honesty, they can never become conscious of the truth, and hence, remain ignorant and arrogant _ though they generally don't think so.

 

[Soverign Grace]

Ignorance breeds arrogance.

Ignorance ignores the truth to the point that the person can only hear themselves. Because they don't hear other peoples opinion, they think their opinion is the only one, and superior to others; hence arrogance, and self-righteousness, is born. They not only become dishonest to themselves, but expect others to agree with them and become be equally dishonest.

Christians who are not honest with themselves are prone to be ignorant and arrogant. Without consciousness of honesty, they can never become conscious of the truth, and hence, remain ignorant and arrogant _ though they generally don't think so.

Isn't that exactly why Christians loathe the left? How is their being dishonest with themselves so different from the leftists who think they can shout down conservatives? I see that there is similarity. If you don't believe as I do then you're wrong, you're a troll, you're misinformed, you're a tin-foil hat wearer - yet never a trip inward to see if it is they themselves who are in error.

What about:

James 3:14

“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”

When another believer told me: "Christians like to cut other Christians up" I was younger in the faith and it didn't resonate - now it does.

 

[Invisibilis]

Isn't that exactly why Christians loathe the left? How is their being dishonest with themselves so different from the leftists who think they can shout down conservatives? I see that there is similarity. If you don't believe as I do then you're wrong, you're a troll, you're misinformed, you're a tin-foil hat wearer - yet never a trip inward to see if it is they themselves who are in error.

What about:

James 3:14

“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”

When another believer told me: "Christians like to cut other Christians up" I was younger in the faith and it didn't resonate - now it does.

As soon as a person has an issue or an agenda they are in service to their own wants and needs instead of God, or what is true. To argue, loathe, anger, and all other forms of tension, is a form of dishonesty. It arises from an issue or agenda not going THEIR way. As soon as this happens, an agitation, a disharmony, and even violence, is expressed by the dishonesty against what is honest or true.

To be honest is to surrender all personal issues and agendas (dishonesty). Hence, repentance (letting go of one's own issues and agendas). There are Christians who feel okay with repenting (being honest), and there are Christians who are not okay with it (remaining to be dishonest). However, the word 'repentance' in the worldly sense is loaded with issues and agendas. This is a false repentance, for they only let go of their own issues for someone else's issues about repentance, which is conditional. Unconditional repentance is simply being absolutely honest. In that consciousness of honesty, there is no issues or agendas for they all disappeared with their surrendered dishonesty. So, in Truth, there is no issue with repentance, left/right, when absolutely honest/true.

 

[Nancy]

A Christian can hurt deeper than an unbeliever can IMHO. We should be able to expect the Fruits of The Spirit to be emanating from them, especially to other Christians. I have seen some pretty rotten fruit from many Christians and, I have never been hurt more than the last Church I attended. Did NOT want to allow them to cause me to leave there but, after 2 plus years there, I could not take it anymore, there was no joy or love there, just condemnation and legalism. I gave it my best but when it got to the point of me crying while driving home after services each week for so long, I just knew God was calling me to another local body and let me tell you, WHAT a difference. My hurt turned to anger and am still working on the forgiveness in my heart because, what Christian ever wants to have un-forgiveness in their hearts? It's becoming easier to forgive them as knowing God forgave me for so very much, I want to extend the same to others...they can cut deep but then, Gods grace runs deeper
Some of us can be more sensitive than others...that can be both a blessing and a curse IMHO...we can SAY we forgive them every day yet, it does not feel like it so...I suppose it is yet another process to endure.

 

[ScottA]

I've been a believer over 40 years and throughout that time I've met a lot of good people, yet I've also seen Christians become abusive to other Christians over doctrinal differences. A believer that I respect said to me a long time ago: "Christians like to cut other Christians up."

Why is this?

How can those who claim to have Christ's spirit within turn around and abuse another believer just because he or she has a difference of opinion? Why do they think it's okay as long as they think it's "for the Lord"?

It's okay to disagree yet we see people cross the line and start getting downright MEAN.

James 3:10

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”

I am confident that most Christians prefer to love one another...but given that Jesus turned over a few tables Himself, does not make such confrontations wrong.

 

[Episkopos]

What I see is that the spirit of Cain is still alive and kicking in the church. It was always this way....and until the Lord returns and separates the tares from the wheat it will always be so.

Offer people a free salvation...and people of all stripes will line up. Like a net that catches all kinds of fish. Needs sorting out.

 

[Naomi25]

I've been a believer over 40 years and throughout that time I've met a lot of good people, yet I've also seen Christians become abusive to other Christians over doctrinal differences. A believer that I respect said to me a long time ago: "Christians like to cut other Christians up."

Why is this?

How can those who claim to have Christ's spirit within turn around and abuse another believer just because he or she has a difference of opinion? Why do they think it's okay as long as they think it's "for the Lord"?

It's okay to disagree yet we see people cross the line and start getting downright MEAN.

James 3:10

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”

This is a great post, because I think its something that we can all relate to...maybe on both sides, if we're honest. Especially here on the forum, where differences of doctrine often lead to clashes. It is...oh! So easy to start off fully intending to have an earnest conversation about something, which of course leads to differences, which is fine, but as the conversation progresses its so easy to become provoked. Christians we may be, but we're still human, and no one likes to admit they're wrong! And almost no one enjoys being told that they're wrong because they're stupid or because they lack the direct line to God their opponent has!
I am learning, in my time here, that being 'right' doesn't matter. Sure...holding the correct doctrine is right and necessary. And we ought to, whenever we can, share it with clarity and conviction. But if I don't need to be right in any given conversation, then my sense of self and worth is not dependent on whether I get the one up on that fellow over there. Who cares if he thinks differently to me, or if he thinks he's 'triumphed' over me in conversational battle. In the end the real conversation will not be between him and me on who was right or wrong. It will be with someone else and there will be no debate over who is right. I think I can rest fairly easy on that. And that gives me space to shake things off and extend the sort of grace (hopefully) that was first extend to me.
It took me a while to arrive at that. But I'm fairly thankful I have. And I'm also thankful that the one who lead me here won't face/palm too hard every time I stumble...

 

[Soverign Grace]

A Christian can hurt deeper than an unbeliever can IMHO. We should be able to expect the Fruits of The Spirit to be emanating from them, especially to other Christians. I have seen some pretty rotten fruit from many Christians and, I have never been hurt more than the last Church I attended. Did NOT want to allow them to cause me to leave there but, after 2 plus years there, I could not take it anymore, there was no joy or love there, just condemnation and legalism. I gave it my best but when it got to the point of me crying while driving home after services each week for so long, I just knew God was calling me to another local body and let me tell you, WHAT a difference. My hurt turned to anger and am still working on the forgiveness in my heart because, what Christian ever wants to have un-forgiveness in their hearts? It's becoming easier to forgive them as knowing God forgave me for so very much, I want to extend the same to others...they can cut deep but then, Gods grace runs deeper
Some of us can be more sensitive than others...that can be both a blessing and a curse IMHO...we can SAY we forgive them every day yet, it does not feel like it so...I suppose it is yet another process to endure.

I've found that to be true Nancy - the worst thing ever done to me was done by a believer who should have known better, but lied to themselves.

The more I try to forgive the more it brings someone's evil deed before my mind - I've found turning away from it works the best and lets God work in my heart. I never feel to restore a relationship with someone who has deceived me or otherwise mistreated but after awhile I notice the anger has lifted. They've forever lost my trust and friendship though.

I too have been badly disappointed in a few churches - and the same thing was in operation - legalism and condemnation. Glad you found another church. God seems to use disappointment to move us out of a place and into another church.

I can tell you're sensitive like I am, and it is both a blessing and a curse!

 

[Soverign Grace]

This is a great post, because I think its something that we can all relate to...maybe on both sides, if we're honest. Especially here on the forum, where differences of doctrine often lead to clashes. It is...oh! So easy to start off fully intending to have an earnest conversation about something, which of course leads to differences, which is fine, but as the conversation progresses its so easy to become provoked. Christians we may be, but we're still human, and no one likes to admit they're wrong! And almost no one enjoys being told that they're wrong because they're stupid or because they lack the direct line to God their opponent has!
I am learning, in my time here, that being 'right' doesn't matter. Sure...holding the correct doctrine is right and necessary. And we ought to, whenever we can, share it with clarity and conviction. But if I don't need to be right in any given conversation, then my sense of self and worth is not dependent on whether I get the one up on that fellow over there. Who cares if he thinks differently to me, or if he thinks he's 'triumphed' over me in conversational battle. In the end the real conversation will not be between him and me on who was right or wrong. It will be with someone else and there will be no debate over who is right. I think I can rest fairly easy on that. And that gives me space to shake things off and extend the sort of grace (hopefully) that was first extend to me.
It took me a while to arrive at that. But I'm fairly thankful I have. And I'm also thankful that the one who lead me here won't face/palm too hard every time I stumble...

You made a very good point: that we can relate to on both sides if we're honest. It made me think.

There is much wisdom in your words.

 

[Willie T]

I seldom ever have many disputes over Doctrine. It is blind bigotry and close-mindedness that seem to be what I am drawn to object to the most.

 

[Nancy]

I've found that to be true Nancy - the worst thing ever done to me was done by a believer who should have known better, but lied to themselves.

The more I try to forgive the more it brings someone's evil deed before my mind - I've found turning away from it works the best and lets God work in my heart. I never feel to restore a relationship with someone who has deceived me or otherwise mistreated but after awhile I notice the anger has lifted. They've forever lost my trust and friendship though.

I too have been badly disappointed in a few churches - and the same thing was in operation - legalism and condemnation. Glad you found another church. God seems to use disappointment to move us out of a place and into another church.

I can tell you're sensitive like I am, and it is both a blessing and a curse!

"I can tell you're sensitive like I am, and it is both a blessing and a curse!"

Yes, you have good discernment, lol...I am pretty sensitive. I think people like you and I expect to be treated as we treat others but then, we have the scriptures telling us to treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated. I can tell you one thing, God knows we want to forgive (and i'm the same as you when you say that when trying to forgive the person or persons, it all comes back and anger all over again so...you are right..we need to walk away from it so as not to get angry all over again...let God do His work) There is nothing wrong with not re-establishing a relationship with them, I would not trust some as far as I could kick a mountain into the sea! It would be foolish. From now on, I will not ignore the red flags waving in my face anymore when they come up with certain people I meet...does not mean I will shun them but, will hold them at arms length. God had to bring me through all this stuff I now believe, so as to hone my discernment perhaps?
All in His time I suppose...cannot force a "feeling" in our hearts, He has to put it there because, right now, I just can't.

 

[Episkopos]

There is such a thing as the truth. And God is in it. There are also lies...sown as tares among wheat that cause people to miss the truth and a chance at life.
Of course a person can believe whatever they want. But how many are really fit to teach doctrine. Mostly people will just parrot what they've heard or read..without the effort to prove it by experience and inspection by God. These are they who are superficial...and petty in their defense of their various man inspired doctrines.
The truth IS hard to hear....and the bible can be difficult to understand given that it is a difficult subject matter and we are dealing with a translation.

So we ought to go easy on the rhetoric...and come to an agreement wherever possible.

A discussion is not about one person being right....but about both getting at the truth. It's about unity...and instruction in God's ways. This is about God not us. There is a spiritual war going on....and there are no neutral parties in this war. We do need to stand up for the truth...as God has shown us.

 

[amadeus]

I've been a believer over 40 years and throughout that time I've met a lot of good people, yet I've also seen Christians become abusive to other Christians over doctrinal differences. A believer that I respect said to me a long time ago: "Christians like to cut other Christians up."

Why is this?

How can those who claim to have Christ's spirit within turn around and abuse another believer just because he or she has a difference of opinion? Why do they think it's okay as long as they think it's "for the Lord"?

It's okay to disagree yet we see people cross the line and start getting downright MEAN.

James 3:10

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”

Where does it all start? Consider the time you are attending a church and the minister especially that day teaches something truly wonderful and you react as the Spirit stirs you up and give God the glory. Soon it is time to leave and go about whatever else the day holds for you. Out onto the highway you direct your vehicle and some guy in a big car cuts you off causing you to react by slamming on the brakes and turning your car away into a ditch. I guess he has just finished hearing a good message in church as well. Of course, at
the time you open your mouth that bless that man for his road courtesy, right?

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Rom 8:28

"Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice." Phil 4:4

 

[DoveSpirit05]

Christians don't abuse people let alone other Christians, if their doing dis their not Christians simple as!!

 

[Sabertooth]

How can those who claim to have Christ's spirit within turn around and abuse another believer just because he or she has a difference of opinion? Why do they think it's okay as long as they think it's "for the Lord"?

I think that it is complicated. We have Tares [Matthew 13:24-30, Matthew 13:36-43] in our midst.

Sometimes it is the Tares who are doing the abuse in the name of Jesus.

Other times, Tares claim abuse when someone calls them on their pretense.

The rest of the time, they are both real Christians who just rub each other the wrong way in this rock-tumbler turmoil as God builds His Church from dynamic members. Love covers a multitude of sins [1 Peter 4:8].

 

[Naomi25]

You made a very good point: that we can relate to on both sides if we're honest. It made me think.

There is much wisdom in your words.

I'm not sure about wisdom...but it's certainly an insight from experience. I never go into something with the intent to get into a rumble...and yet often end up there anyway. And while, sure, sometimes its because of issues from the other side, I have to own a certain stubbornness and pride on my own. I don't think its wrong to want to hold true and faithful to the word of God (which is where most of us start out from), but ego's and and one-up-man-ship (if there is such a word!) get in the way, and the ability...or lack of it, to take criticism. I still have a loooong way to grow in all this, I think.

 

[Willie T]

For you kids...… This would be CLASSIC Religious Rock, not that new stuff all of you are talking about. LOL

(The music will start at about 2:15, but listen to the first part, too.)

 

[Soverign Grace]

"I can tell you're sensitive like I am, and it is both a blessing and a curse!"

Yes, you have good discernment, lol...I am pretty sensitive. I think people like you and I expect to be treated as we treat others but then, we have the scriptures telling us to treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated. I can tell you one thing, God knows we want to forgive (and i'm the same as you when you say that when trying to forgive the person or persons, it all comes back and anger all over again so...you are right..we need to walk away from it so as not to get angry all over again...let God do His work) There is nothing wrong with not re-establishing a relationship with them, I would not trust some as far as I could kick a mountain into the sea! It would be foolish. From now on, I will not ignore the red flags waving in my face anymore when they come up with certain people I meet...does not mean I will shun them but, will hold them at arms length. God had to bring me through all this stuff I now believe, so as to hone my discernment perhaps?
All in His time I suppose...cannot force a "feeling" in our hearts, He has to put it there because, right now, I just can't.

Yes you expect better of other believers. But it also makes me double-check what I'm doing because I never want anyone to hurt the way I am. People seem to have a sixth sense and know who has a soft heart so I think you're a walking bullseye Nancy. It's good because it draws others to you but then it also draws those who want to exploit that kindness. I was writing to prisoners and one of my family members got upset thinking they were going to try to deceive me somehow. I think there is a balance there of trying to do what we think God wants while also protecting ourselves.

It could be to hone your discernment - sometimes it's hard to figure out what God is doing. But after you've walked with God awhile you learn that not all those who call me Lord! Lord!...are trustworthy.

 

[Soverign Grace]

There is such a thing as the truth. And God is in it. There are also lies...sown as tares among wheat that cause people to miss the truth and a chance at life.
Of course a person can believe whatever they want. But how many are really fit to teach doctrine. Mostly people will just parrot what they've heard or read..without the effort to prove it by experience and inspection by God. These are they who are superficial...and petty in their defense of their various man inspired doctrines.
The truth IS hard to hear....and the bible can be difficult to understand given that it is a difficult subject matter and we are dealing with a translation.

So we ought to go easy on the rhetoric...and come to an agreement wherever possible.

A discussion is not about one person being right....but about both getting at the truth. It's about unity...and instruction in God's ways. This is about God not us. There is a spiritual war going on....and there are no neutral parties in this war. We do need to stand up for the truth...as God has shown us.

That's insightful. It should be about both getting at the truth. I wonder what to do when one person isn't ready to hear the truth yet.