Nowhere does it say election is based upon anything we do. Nowhere. Even when God told Israel why He chose them in Deuteronomy 7:7-8, it was not based on anything within them. Same with us. There was nothing in the elect that was missing in the non-elect.
Now, let us examine 2 Peter 3:9 which you alluded to, but offered no exegesis.
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.[2 Peter 3:9]
This whole letter was addressed to believers. From the very first verse to the very last one. Context here is that the ‘toward you’ is who He is not willing any should perish. And these ‘toward you’ are believers. Look at another passage that uses the same language.
”What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying? If it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish.[Matthew 18:12-14]
The Christ is telling them how unwilling He is that any of His sheep perish. He is so not willing they perish, He died for them[John 10:11, John 10:15, Ephesians 5:25]. He is so not willing they perish, He seeks them, and when He finds them, He will even carry[Luke 15:5] them back and place them into the sheep pen[John 10:16]. He is not willing one of His elect die lost is the context of 2 Peter 3:9. But He is very willing the non-elect die lost.
Let’s look at 2 Peter 2 for a second...
In 2 Peter 2, Peter was talking about how God did not spare the angels who rebelled, saved Noah(and also seven in his family) and destroyed the rest of humanity, saved Lot and destroyed everyone else in Sodom, Gomorrah and the surrounding cities. Then he wrote this...
then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptation, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment for the day of judgment, and especially those who indulge the flesh in its corrupt desires and despise authority.[
2 Peter 2:9-10] He is able to save His elect and keep the rest right where they’re at.
He not only knows how to rescue the elect, but also how to keep the non-elect right where they’re at. So He is very willing the non-elect die lost.