It's possible to influence change for the better.
How though? Do you have any suggestions for pastors as a whole?
I knew a counselor who told me that she worked with a local college and handed out an anonymous survey to students there, asking them if they'd ever been sexually assaulted. She was shocked to learn that more than half the class stated that they were. That's not a good sign in our culture - I think it shows an abhorrent decline in morals that I don't know if we can recover from. America has become an unhealthy society. One of my family members runs a business and said that the people he deals with are so corrupt and he constantly has to be on guard.
That's why I think it's good to get your finger on the pulse of churches to see how we're doing as a whole. I don't think we're doing so good. I'm going to give any suggestions to several pastors to see if it can possibly spread beyond them. My pastor routinely meets with other pastors. We have to have vision. I don't think we should sit back and shake our heads - we should try to change things. There are people who are hurt by the world and then go to church and are hurt worse. I think the wounding in the church is worse because you expect better.
We personally have been in three separate churches where we were hurt. One was a strict Presbyterian church where there was an overt "caste" system. I'll never forget the time we sat in a pew reserved for certain members by accident. I turned around and the look of absolute HATE was on the face of an usher. He marched over to us and DEMANDED that we get up and move. He looked ready to blow a gasket. The pastor would preen the feathers of certain members publicly. It was so obvious what he was doing. They fed pride in that church. I recall everyone backbiting a member because he took his kids to McDonalds on a Sunday and that was forbidden because you're making someone else work on a Sunday. My husband said it was legalistic and we left. The pastor's wife heartbreakingly committed suicide. I didn't blame her - I would not want to be stuck with those uppity, snooty, people.
The next church my husband got us to go to was a disaster. It was the exact opposite. Loosey-goosey. Our daughter took one of her friends to church and sat at a different table than us for bible study. She said that a woman came up to them and told them they had to move because this was where the Sullivans sat. My daughter was independent and said that there were other empty tables. The woman became irate and shouted "This is where the Sullivans sit now you and your fat little friend get up and MOVE!" - in church. The family that owned the church were corrupt. They hurt me deeply by something corrupt they did. They had hoodwinked my husband and I couldn't convince him what they were until he found out for himself - but not before costing us a lot of money. They were later shamed nationwide for something corrupt.
The next church gave me a bad feeling from the start. I wish I had listened to my instincts. The hoity-toity pastors were partial and said that we had to "submit" to them because God put them in the positions they were in. They turned one of my children off so badly that she refuses to go to an independent bible church today. I asked the opinions of 11 other pastors online and every single one agreed with me. I gave the pastors a copy of the responses and the head pastor said I "told them what I wanted them to hear." I was an open book. I told him to email each of the pastors telling the story from HIS side - he refused. He didn't want the light of others who were in the same position as him to shine on his behavior and the behavior of his cronies. He super-spiritualized his sin and the sin of his crony pastors.
One of the elders who they held in high esteem used to want to give me a "Christian hug" a lot. A woman knows when something isn't a "Christian hug." I knew he had cheated on his wife and he was on the hunt. The wife puffed herself up because she was in some position. I would have liked to tell her what her husband was up to. She probably would have dismissed it or tried to spiritualize it or blame me for her husband's sinful behavior. Deep down, I think she knew at some level - she just didn't want to face it. She built her little house of cards in the little kingdom they built where they were the kings and queens. We left and later learned that the prideful main pastor left. After pulling their prideful acts on members of the church, I guess they turned their guns on each other.
This is just an overview - the specifics are actually worse. I just wonder how many people are wounded in churches and write them off? How many people forego fellowship and iron-sharpening-iron because of sinful pride, or other sinful behavior of church members?
In each of the above cases, it looked like God dealt with at least some of them. I've been reading a book title "Into Battle" by Arthur Wallace. He said that churches are anemic today because Christians don't face that we're in a battle. I wonder how much Satan is at work in these churches and Christians don't realize it. We already know sinful flesh is in this type of behavior. I just wonder if it's something that Christians should bring up to their individual church leadership. If we did this, the church would probably hold a lot more power than it does. I see a lackadaisical way in people - they claim that things are going to get worse and accept it. I think this is the time for Christians to get stronger.
I see the country getting worse and my family is in it, and I have concern for these next generations. We all seem to accept that it's going to get worse but the church isn't being the restraining power that it should be. Does anyone else feel this?