I’m a Christian addicted to writing evil songs, please help.

[Dale33]

This may sound silly to some. But it is literally ruining my life and destroying my relationships with God and other people. I’ve been a Christian since I was eight.

I’ve been playing piano since middle school (I’m 33 now), but I’ve started in the last six or so years writing/composing very sinister songs on the piano. Not just are the Melodies dark, but the lyrics are violent and demonic. I can’t explain why I even started dabbling in such songwriting, I started for no reason about six years ago and was initially shocked by what I composed, but I slowly became desensitized to it and wrote more and more dark material and lost the sense of shock.

The dark song writing has hurt my family, romantic relationships, my relationship with church members, and cost me jobs in the past.

I think most would agree it’s problematic, but why is it an addiction? Because I literally can’t stop. I’m at the point where I abhorr my music but I can’t stop. I get a feeling of being high when I compose music, and I experience deep depression and get suicidal when I withdraw from it. I pray and pray that God will help me and take away the desire to write these songs, but I feel hopeless about the situation.

Please pray for me and any advice is welcome. Thanks.

 

[St. Joseph]

This may sound silly to some. But it is literally ruining my life and destroying my relationships with God and other people. I’ve been a Christian since I was eight.

I’ve been playing piano since middle school (I’m 33 now), but I’ve started in the last six or so years writing/composing very sinister songs on the piano. Not just are the Melodies dark, but the lyrics are violent and demonic. I can’t explain why I even started dabbling in such songwriting, I started for no reason about six years ago and was initially shocked by what I composed, but I slowly became desensitized to it and wrote more and more dark material and lost the sense of shock.

The dark song writing has hurt my family, romantic relationships, my relationship with church members, and cost me jobs in the past.

I think most would agree it’s problematic, but why is it an addiction? Because I literally can’t stop. I’m at the point where I abhorr my music but I can’t stop. I get a feeling of being high when I compose music, and I experience deep depression and get suicidal when I withdraw from it. I pray and pray that God will help me and take away the desire to write these songs, but I feel hopeless about the situation.

Please pray for me and any advice is welcome. Thanks.

I dont know the answer. Is it truly evil or is like rock music and you feel guilt by judging yourself. I am Chritian been one a while,but i still love Eric Clapton.And see nothing wrong in it. Anymore than watching t.v.....the great demon

 

[Aunty Jane]

This may sound silly to some. But it is literally ruining my life and destroying my relationships with God and other people. I’ve been a Christian since I was eight.

I’ve been playing piano since middle school (I’m 33 now), but I’ve started in the last six or so years writing/composing very sinister songs on the piano. Not just are the Melodies dark, but the lyrics are violent and demonic. I can’t explain why I even started dabbling in such songwriting, I started for no reason about six years ago and was initially shocked by what I composed, but I slowly became desensitized to it and wrote more and more dark material and lost the sense of shock.

The dark song writing has hurt my family, romantic relationships, my relationship with church members, and cost me jobs in the past.

I think most would agree it’s problematic, but why is it an addiction? Because I literally can’t stop. I’m at the point where I abhorr my music but I can’t stop. I get a feeling of being high when I compose music, and I experience deep depression and get suicidal when I withdraw from it. I pray and pray that God will help me and take away the desire to write these songs, but I feel hopeless about the situation.

Please pray for me and any advice is welcome. Thanks.

That is indeed a sad story, but I cannot help but wonder about your mental health and the fact that satan and his demons prey on those who have such weaknesses.

Have you sought help from mental health professionals, as it sounds like an OCD (obsessive compulsive) behavior.
I have friends who suffer with this disorder and it is a burden for them to carry. Both sought mental health assistance and have since received help and counseling.

I wish you well....

 

[sheariah07]

This may sound silly to some. But it is literally ruining my life and destroying my relationships with God and other people. I’ve been a Christian since I was eight.

I’ve been playing piano since middle school (I’m 33 now), but I’ve started in the last six or so years writing/composing very sinister songs on the piano. Not just are the Melodies dark, but the lyrics are violent and demonic. I can’t explain why I even started dabbling in such songwriting, I started for no reason about six years ago and was initially shocked by what I composed, but I slowly became desensitized to it and wrote more and more dark material and lost the sense of shock.

The dark song writing has hurt my family, romantic relationships, my relationship with church members, and cost me jobs in the past.

I think most would agree it’s problematic, but why is it an addiction? Because I literally can’t stop. I’m at the point where I abhorr my music but I can’t stop. I get a feeling of being high when I compose music, and I experience deep depression and get suicidal when I withdraw from it. I pray and pray that God will help me and take away the desire to write these songs, but I feel hopeless about the situation.

Please pray for me and any advice is welcome. Thanks.

You do the right thing to ask God alone for help to remove the desire. That's the right thing to do. We only need to cry to him in order to be saved, no one else could help us but him. He helps the hopeless and miserable. You should wait and be still and he will save you. I will pray for you. Would you mind telling me if you spend time reading his word?

 

[Gottservant]

This may sound silly to some. But it is literally ruining my life and destroying my relationships with God and other people. I’ve been a Christian since I was eight.

I’ve been playing piano since middle school (I’m 33 now), but I’ve started in the last six or so years writing/composing very sinister songs on the piano. Not just are the Melodies dark, but the lyrics are violent and demonic. I can’t explain why I even started dabbling in such songwriting, I started for no reason about six years ago and was initially shocked by what I composed, but I slowly became desensitized to it and wrote more and more dark material and lost the sense of shock.

The dark song writing has hurt my family, romantic relationships, my relationship with church members, and cost me jobs in the past.

I think most would agree it’s problematic, but why is it an addiction? Because I literally can’t stop. I’m at the point where I abhorr my music but I can’t stop. I get a feeling of being high when I compose music, and I experience deep depression and get suicidal when I withdraw from it. I pray and pray that God will help me and take away the desire to write these songs, but I feel hopeless about the situation.

Please pray for me and any advice is welcome. Thanks.

"live for imagination, but don't die for glory"

or as the Jews put it "better a cowardly dog, than a dead lion" (from the OT, from memory)

There is a ordinant prayer you can pray also: "Lord I am angry that I have sinned; Lord Iam bitter that others learned to sin from my sin the way they did; and Lord I want the Holy Spirit to have peace beyond this life that I have created for myself, have mercy" - the point being, that when you pray this, you take responsibility for your sin in a way that is emotional and coherent.

Don't be afraid to ask people to pray for you, either (I have prayed for you and it has helped me as well, thankyou)

 

[Dale33]

That is indeed a sad story, but I cannot help but wonder about your mental health and the fact that satan and his demons prey on those who have such weaknesses.

Have you sought help from mental health professionals, as it sounds like an OCD (obsessive compulsive) behavior.
I have friends who suffer with this disorder and it is a burden for them to carry. Both sought mental health assistance and have since received help and counseling.

I wish you well....

I’ve recently been diagnosed with ocd. On medication and therapy, it’s helping marginally. Thanks.

 

[Dale33]

You do the right thing to ask God alone for help to remove the desire. That's the right thing to do. We only need to cry to him in order to be saved, no one else could help us but him. He helps the hopeless and miserable. You should wait and be still and he will save you. I will pray for you. Would you mind telling me if you spend time reading his word?

Thank you. I do read his Word, I need to more often though.

 

[MatthewG]

Thank you. I do read his Word, I need to more often though.

Same I make songs on bandlab. Some Christian some not: