I feel I've fallen away from God

[Brent10123]

Hi my name is Brent and I would really appreciate your help and thoughts on this horrible experience that I had, thankyou!


For the past couple of years when I stopped going to church I drifted away from God and moved in with this girl. I got into alcohol and drugs and sex and I did alot of horrible things that I'm ashamed of. She even had an abortion. I was really deceived at the time thinking that God was out to get me and I would get angry at him alot. I would go a little ways then repent and feel ashamed for what I was doing. But I would get angry at little things in life, like work or doing something humiliating around people led me back to drinking. I would get serious about following God for a few months then i would fall off the wagon again and this kept happening.

I had quit drinking alcohol and realized my error and how horrible I have been. I think I was going through alcohol withdrawal induced psychosis which made me hear and think bizarre things. I thought I was doomed and had to kill myself, I went up to the rooftop to jump but I didn't, im hoping it was God who was protecting me. This got so bad that my brother had to call the police on me because he was afraid I would try to jump.

They brought me to the mental hospital and they put me on medication and I got back into the word of God more serious than before and even tried to read with some of the other patients and evangelize. Then I felt another alcohol withdrawal psychosis attack coming on, and the patients at the hospital looked at me and were laughing saying repeatedly abortion is wrong, it felt like every patient there was being controlled to be against me! Then I heard a voice saying sorry son but you really hurt me and I felt this bubble leave my stomach area and I was afraid this was the Holy Spirit.

I went out into the hall and one of the patients was standing down the hall. I looked at her and felt absolutely terrified and had no strength(like they had some spirit). They said call your mom and tell her to come and pick you up, and I want you and the other 5 who lost the Holy Spirit on a cross and you can say, this is my mother take care of her. She then said that I was so selfish and all she wanted to do was to love me. I went back to my room and things went really badly that night, I totally lost control and hit a patient because I heard a voice telling me what to and I thought I was dead. Then rest of the time at the hospital went by and I kept in God's words and talking to the patients about Christ despite what happened even though I was feeling really hopless.

I got out of the hospital and went like 2 months without drinking, then I fell into it again. Now I'm 100 percent done with the alcohol and have done alot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ. I'm just afraid that what happened at the hospital was really and God really did take His Holy Spirit from me and Im doomed.

I dont know who else to tell about this I feel really defeated because of this and hopless, sorry I know this is a long message but I am wondering what your thoughts are please. I dont want to lose my relationship with God, but I've been reading alot of the scriptures where if you turn away from God then you can never be brought back to repentance and other scriptures like that. And I was worse into alcohol and drugs for those years, now I have turned from alcohol and drugs and back to God but there is still this doom that hangs over me and I am trying to seek God's face buy these horrible thoughts keep popping into my mind that are against God and I hate them.

I dont know what is going on and I'm afraid it's too late and it was God at the hospital who took His spirit from me, please help

 

[An Apologetic Sheepdog]

I dont know who else to tell about this I feel really defeated because of this and hopless, sorry I know this is a long message but I am wondering what your thoughts are please. I dont want to lose my relationship with God, but I've been reading alot of the scriptures where if you turn away from God then you can never be brought back to repentance and other scriptures like that. And I was worse into alcohol and drugs for those years, now I have turned from alcohol and drugs and back to God but there is still this doom that hangs over me and I am trying to seek God's face buy these horrible thoughts keep popping into my mind that are against God and I hate them.

I dont know what is going on and I'm afraid it's too late and it was God at the hospital who took His spirit from me, please help

Assuming yours is in fact a legitimate account and plea.....

First, you have committed no sin that cannot be forgiven and no Jesus has not "abandoned' you and no its not hopeless.

what specifically are the issues in question?

 

[Brent10123]

Thankyou for the reply. Im just trying to get my zeal and passion back for God and His word that I've previously had and I feel very distant

 

[liafailrock]

Hi my name is Brent and I would really appreciate your help and thoughts on this horrible experience that I had, thankyou!


For the past couple of years when I stopped going to church I drifted away from God and moved in with this girl. I got into alcohol and drugs and sex and I did alot of horrible things that I'm ashamed of. She even had an abortion. I was really deceived at the time thinking that God was out to get me and I would get angry at him alot. I would go a little ways then repent and feel ashamed for what I was doing. But I would get angry at little things in life, like work or doing something humiliating around people led me back to drinking. I would get serious about following God for a few months then i would fall off the wagon again and this kept happening.

I had quit drinking alcohol and realized my error and how horrible I have been. I think I was going through alcohol withdrawal induced psychosis which made me hear and think bizarre things. I thought I was doomed and had to kill myself, I went up to the rooftop to jump but I didn't, im hoping it was God who was protecting me. This got so bad that my brother had to call the police on me because he was afraid I would try to jump.

They brought me to the mental hospital and they put me on medication and I got back into the word of God more serious than before and even tried to read with some of the other patients and evangelize. Then I felt another alcohol withdrawal psychosis attack coming on, and the patients at the hospital looked at me and were laughing saying repeatedly abortion is wrong, it felt like every patient there was being controlled to be against me! Then I heard a voice saying sorry son but you really hurt me and I felt this bubble leave my stomach area and I was afraid this was the Holy Spirit.

I went out into the hall and one of the patients was standing down the hall. I looked at her and felt absolutely terrified and had no strength(like they had some spirit). They said call your mom and tell her to come and pick you up, and I want you and the other 5 who lost the Holy Spirit on a cross and you can say, this is my mother take care of her. She then said that I was so selfish and all she wanted to do was to love me. I went back to my room and things went really badly that night, I totally lost control and hit a patient because I heard a voice telling me what to and I thought I was dead. Then rest of the time at the hospital went by and I kept in God's words and talking to the patients about Christ despite what happened even though I was feeling really hopless.

I got out of the hospital and went like 2 months without drinking, then I fell into it again. Now I'm 100 percent done with the alcohol and have done alot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ. I'm just afraid that what happened at the hospital was really and God really did take His Holy Spirit from me and Im doomed.

I dont know who else to tell about this I feel really defeated because of this and hopless, sorry I know this is a long message but I am wondering what your thoughts are please. I dont want to lose my relationship with God, but I've been reading alot of the scriptures where if you turn away from God then you can never be brought back to repentance and other scriptures like that. And I was worse into alcohol and drugs for those years, now I have turned from alcohol and drugs and back to God but there is still this doom that hangs over me and I am trying to seek God's face buy these horrible thoughts keep popping into my mind that are against God and I hate them.

I dont know what is going on and I'm afraid it's too late and it was God at the hospital who took His spirit from me, please help

I'm not so sure you lost any Spirit as much as you gained one: a spirit of oppression. While you struggle to get things together, the Lord is there waiting and the sacrifice on the cross is quite adequate. You seemed to be worried about losing the Spirit of God which hints to me where your heart is at, i.e. it's toward God wanting to do His will. So God isn't going to give up on you, nor is there any amount of scripture that supports that. From the spiritual end, you need to keep studying God's Word and learn about the wiles of the devil. I used to have extreme anxiety as a young person, and over the years learning about the Lord and His Word it all has vanished -- faith DOES come by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

From the physical end of things, I heard a lot of alcohol abuse. Too much can mess up your body chemistry (such as hypoglycemia) and I would wager you probably have several health complaints and if you ordered your own blood work (like I did), you'd probably find a few things out of spec. The brain needs health, too to work right so that you can think straight. The room here does not permit me to say everything, but in a nutshell, you have to work out having proper nourishment physically as well. Do you know about proper eating, diet and maybe supplement usage? It's hard to get out of that dark cloud of yours when the mind doesn't function well.

 

[An Apologetic Sheepdog]

Thankyou for the reply. Im just trying to get my zeal and passion back for God and His word that I've previously had and I feel very distant

Very well, first- don't trust your "feelings" or use them to gauge any relationship you think you have with the Lord.

Same thing with zeal and passion. They are not required and will come later if needed.

You need to focus on stability and order- then all things will come.

That is both for the aspects of your life and your spiritual relationship. (build the infrastructure)

Start at the beginning. Repent, atone ( as reasonable) and reaffirm your relationship with the Lord.

Then start building on that as applicable.

Do the same with your life.

That's a decent generic starter kit

 

[Nancy]

Hi my name is Brent and I would really appreciate your help and thoughts on this horrible experience that I had, thankyou!


For the past couple of years when I stopped going to church I drifted away from God and moved in with this girl. I got into alcohol and drugs and sex and I did alot of horrible things that I'm ashamed of. She even had an abortion. I was really deceived at the time thinking that God was out to get me and I would get angry at him alot. I would go a little ways then repent and feel ashamed for what I was doing. But I would get angry at little things in life, like work or doing something humiliating around people led me back to drinking. I would get serious about following God for a few months then i would fall off the wagon again and this kept happening.

I had quit drinking alcohol and realized my error and how horrible I have been. I think I was going through alcohol withdrawal induced psychosis which made me hear and think bizarre things. I thought I was doomed and had to kill myself, I went up to the rooftop to jump but I didn't, im hoping it was God who was protecting me. This got so bad that my brother had to call the police on me because he was afraid I would try to jump.

They brought me to the mental hospital and they put me on medication and I got back into the word of God more serious than before and even tried to read with some of the other patients and evangelize. Then I felt another alcohol withdrawal psychosis attack coming on, and the patients at the hospital looked at me and were laughing saying repeatedly abortion is wrong, it felt like every patient there was being controlled to be against me! Then I heard a voice saying sorry son but you really hurt me and I felt this bubble leave my stomach area and I was afraid this was the Holy Spirit.

I went out into the hall and one of the patients was standing down the hall. I looked at her and felt absolutely terrified and had no strength(like they had some spirit). They said call your mom and tell her to come and pick you up, and I want you and the other 5 who lost the Holy Spirit on a cross and you can say, this is my mother take care of her. She then said that I was so selfish and all she wanted to do was to love me. I went back to my room and things went really badly that night, I totally lost control and hit a patient because I heard a voice telling me what to and I thought I was dead. Then rest of the time at the hospital went by and I kept in God's words and talking to the patients about Christ despite what happened even though I was feeling really hopless.

I got out of the hospital and went like 2 months without drinking, then I fell into it again. Now I'm 100 percent done with the alcohol and have done alot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ. I'm just afraid that what happened at the hospital was really and God really did take His Holy Spirit from me and Im doomed.

I dont know who else to tell about this I feel really defeated because of this and hopless, sorry I know this is a long message but I am wondering what your thoughts are please. I dont want to lose my relationship with God, but I've been reading alot of the scriptures where if you turn away from God then you can never be brought back to repentance and other scriptures like that. And I was worse into alcohol and drugs for those years, now I have turned from alcohol and drugs and back to God but there is still this doom that hangs over me and I am trying to seek God's face buy these horrible thoughts keep popping into my mind that are against God and I hate them.

I dont know what is going on and I'm afraid it's too late and it was God at the hospital who took His spirit from me, please help

Hi @Brent10123
Welcome here!
Sounds like spiritual attack, for sure. These things you experienced are not from God brother...the evil one sows doubt and questioning more than anything, especially against a Christian's peace!

The enemy wants to consume us any way he can, through sex, drugs, unclean living...or anything really, that takes our focus off of Jesus.

"I got out of the hospital and went like 2 months without drinking, then I fell into it again. Now I'm 100 percent done with the alcohol and have done a lot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ. I'm just afraid that what happened at the hospital was really and God really did take His Holy Spirit from me and I'm doomed."

THAT is wonderful brother, praise God as His grace is sufficient for all of us (His children) instead of reaching for these things of the world, we reach out to Him and, watch and see what He does

"a lot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ." The Spirit of God still lives in you brother or, you would be doing NONE of those 3 things.

He said that He would never leave nor forsake you and if you are a believer then, that was NOT The Holy Spirit leaving you from your belly! Don't believe the lie...read the scriptures without distraction...stay close and ALWAYS look up, reach up...trust in what He say's about you in His word.

God bless and restore a sound mind and heart to you bro!

 

[Brent10123]

I'm not so sure you lost any Spirit as much as you gained one: a spirit of oppression. While you struggle to get things together, the Lord is there waiting and the sacrifice on the cross is quite adequate. You seemed to be worried about losing the Spirit of God which hints to me where your heart is at, i.e. it's toward God wanting to do His will. So God isn't going to give up on you, nor is there any amount of scripture that supports that. From the spiritual end, you need to keep studying God's Word and learn about the wiles of the devil. I used to have extreme anxiety as a young person, and over the years learning about the Lord and His Word it all has vanished -- faith DOES come by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

From the physical end of things, I heard a lot of alcohol abuse. Too much can mess up your body chemistry (such as hypoglycemia) and I would wager you probably have several health complaints and if you ordered your own blood work (like I did), you'd probably find a few things out of spec. The brain needs health, too to work right so that you can think straight. The room here does not permit me to say everything, but in a nutshell, you have to work out having proper nourishment physically as well. Do you know about proper eating, diet and maybe supplement usage? It's hard to get out of that dark cloud of yours when the mind doesn't function well.

Thankyou for the reply! Ok I will continue in His word and nourish my body better. Thankyou for the support

 

[Brent10123]

Hi @Brent10123
Welcome here!
Sounds like spiritual attack, for sure. These things you experienced are not from God brother...the evil one sows doubt and questioning more than anything, especially against a Christian's peace!

The enemy wants to consume us any way he can, through sex, drugs, unclean living...or anything really, that takes our focus off of Jesus.

"I got out of the hospital and went like 2 months without drinking, then I fell into it again. Now I'm 100 percent done with the alcohol and have done a lot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ. I'm just afraid that what happened at the hospital was really and God really did take His Holy Spirit from me and I'm doomed."

THAT is wonderful brother, praise God as His grace is sufficient for all of us (His children) instead of reaching for these things of the world, we reach out to Him and, watch and see what He does

"a lot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ." The Spirit of God still lives in you brother or, you would be doing NONE of those 3 things.

He said that He would never leave nor forsake you and if you are a believer then, that was NOT The Holy Spirit leaving you from your belly! Don't believe the lie...read the scriptures without distraction...stay close and ALWAYS look up, reach up...trust in what He say's about you in His word.

God bless and restore a sound mind and heart to you bro!

Thankyou for the reply! Yes I will continue to stay in God's word!

 

[Brent10123]

I'm not so sure you lost any Spirit as much as you gained one: a spirit of oppression. While you struggle to get things together, the Lord is there waiting and the sacrifice on the cross is quite adequate. You seemed to be worried about losing the Spirit of God which hints to me where your heart is at, i.e. it's toward God wanting to do His will. So God isn't going to give up on you, nor is there any amount of scripture that supports that. From the spiritual end, you need to keep studying God's Word and learn about the wiles of the devil. I used to have extreme anxiety as a young person, and over the years learning about the Lord and His Word it all has vanished -- faith DOES come by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

From the physical end of things, I heard a lot of alcohol abuse. Too much can mess up your body chemistry (such as hypoglycemia) and I would wager you probably have several health complaints and if you ordered your own blood work (like I did), you'd probably find a few things out of spec. The brain needs health, too to work right so that you can think straight. The room here does not permit me to say everything, but in a nutshell, you have to work out having proper nourishment physically as well. Do you know about proper eating, diet and maybe supplement usage? It's hard to get out of that dark cloud of yours when the mind doesn't function well.

Thankyou for the reply

Very well, first- don't trust your "feelings" or use them to gauge any relationship you think you have with the Lord.

Same thing with zeal and passion. They are not required and will come later if needed.

You need to focus on stability and order- then all things will come.

That is both for the aspects of your life and your spiritual relationship. (build the infrastructure)

Start at the beginning. Repent, atone ( as reasonable) and reaffirm your relationship with the Lord.

Then start building on that as applicable.

Do the same with your life.

That's a decent generic starter kit

Thankyou for the reply and thsnkyou for the insight. Yeah I agree I need to work on my mental and physical health

 

[GRACE ambassador]

I'm afraid it's too late and it was God at the hospital who took His spirit from me, please help

Precious friend, Brent, I will pray for you. God Does NOT Take HIS ETERNAL
Spirit From HIS children:

Precious friend(s), Is not the Solution to Confusion recognizing
God's Differences Between "HIS Relationship With us," And
"our fellowship with HIM!"?

God's Will, Today, Under HIS PURE GRACE? Very Simply:

(1) God Establishes HIS Eternal Relationship With those who humbly:
believe, 100% trust, place Total faith, In The LORD JESUS CHRIST, HIS
Death {Precious BLOOD}, Burial, And HIS Resurrection, According To The
Scriptures! (1 Corinthians 15:3-4; cp Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 3-5 KJB!)

"GRACE Through faith" In The Merits Of HIS
Precious And ALL-Sufficient BLOOD Results:

All sins Forgiven, HIS Eternal Life, And, Peace With God!
{This Is Eternal DELIVERANCE From the PENALTY of sin!}
Justification First, And, THEN:

(2) The believer SHOULD do "good works" {Which will NEVER
EQUAL CHRIST's TOTAL PAYMENT For the above PENALTY of sin!},
for Which we Are Created In CHRIST JESUS, to perform for HIM,
having "been Called into fellowship With HIM!" Amen?:

We "work out OUR OWN salvation" {This SHOULD Be a
lifetime of DELIVERANCE From the POWER of sin!}
Sanctification:

(2a) Fulfil ALL Of His Law, In "ONE Word: LOVE your neighbor
as yourself!" (Galatians 5:14; Romans 13:8-10 KJB!)

(2b) Study HIS Word Of Truth, Rightly Divided, to show
yourself Approved Unto God! (2 Timothy 2:15 KJB!)

Eternal Results: reward {or loss} (1 Corinthians 3 : 8-15 KJB!),
ruling and reigning With CHRIST, Which Will FINALLY Be At
The Judgment Day:

(3) CHRIST's GLORIFICATION of All "members" Of HIS Body!!
{This Is Eternal DELIVERANCE From the PRESENCE of sin!}
Amen?
----------------------------------
Conclusion:
BIG Differences Between God's Relationship And our fellowship!
Correct?

 

[Brent10123]

Thankyou all for the responses! I appreciate you all taking the time for writing. I definitely do struggle with trusting my feelings over God's word this I will continue to work on

 

[Brent10123]

Precious friend, Brent, I will pray for you. God Does NOT Take HIS ETERNAL
Spirit From HIS children:

Precious friend(s), Is not the Solution to Confusion recognizing
God's Differences Between "HIS Relationship With us," And
"our fellowship with HIM!"?

God's Will, Today, Under HIS PURE GRACE? Very Simply:

(1) God Establishes HIS Eternal Relationship With those who humbly:
believe, 100% trust, place Total faith, In The LORD JESUS CHRIST, HIS
Death {Precious BLOOD}, Burial, And HIS Resurrection, According To The
Scriptures! (1 Corinthians 15:3-4; cp Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 3-5 KJB!)

"GRACE Through faith" In The Merits Of HIS
Precious And ALL-Sufficient BLOOD Results:

All sins Forgiven, HIS Eternal Life, And, Peace With God!
{This Is Eternal DELIVERANCE From the PENALTY of sin!}
Justification First, And, THEN:

(2) The believer SHOULD do "good works" {Which will NEVER
EQUAL CHRIST's TOTAL PAYMENT For the above PENALTY of sin!},
for Which we Are Created In CHRIST JESUS, to perform for HIM,
having "been Called into fellowship With HIM!" Amen?:

We "work out OUR OWN salvation" {This SHOULD Be a
lifetime of DELIVERANCE From the POWER of sin!}
Sanctification:

(2a) Fulfil ALL Of His Law, In "ONE Word: LOVE your neighbor
as yourself!" (Galatians 5:14; Romans 13:8-10 KJB!)

(2b) Study HIS Word Of Truth, Rightly Divided, to show
yourself Approved Unto God! (2 Timothy 2:15 KJB!)

Eternal Results: reward {or loss} (1 Corinthians 3 : 8-15 KJB!),
ruling and reigning With CHRIST, Which Will FINALLY Be At
The Judgment Day:

(3) CHRIST's GLORIFICATION of All "members" Of HIS Body!!
{This Is Eternal DELIVERANCE From the PRESENCE of sin!}
Amen?
----------------------------------
Conclusion:
BIG Differences Between God's Relationship And our fellowship!
Correct?

Praise God! Thankyou for taking the time to respond!

 

[Wynona]

Hey Brent,

I don't think you lost the Holy Spirit but I agree that feelings should not be the guage of how well you are doing.

As you discipline yourself to read God's Word, evangelize, pray, and cut out sin, you will feed the Spirit-man and overcome the deeds of the flesh. You don't read your Bible only when you feel like it because the flesh part of you will rise up and say you don't feel like reading it.

Feed your Spirit and stay with that consistently as a discipline. Then allow God to transform you. When you pray, make sure you are listening to His voice. This can take a few minutes. But His voice will give you the assurance that you are God's child. The assurance you need.

Ill be praying for you.

 

[Brent10123]

Hey Brent,

I don't think you lost the Holy Spirit but I agree that feelings should not be the guage of how well you are doing.

As you discipline yourself to read God's Word, evangelize, pray, and cut out sin, you will feed the Spirit-man and overcome the deeds of the flesh. You don't read your Bible only when you feel like it because the flesh part of you will rise up and say you don't feel like reading it.

Feed your Spirit and stay with that consistently as a discipline. Then allow God to transform you. When you pray, make sure you are listening to His voice. This can take a few minutes. But His voice will give you the assurance that you are God's child. The assurance you need.

Ill be praying for you.

Thankyou for the reply and prayers. Yeah I hope as I continue in God's word and prayer and spreading the Gospel I will grow closer to God

 

[farouk]

Thankyou for the reply and prayers. Yeah I hope as I continue in God's word and prayer and spreading the Gospel I will grow closer to God

Hi @Brent10123 Good to see you; make sure that a trusting reading of Scripture is part of your daily routine, as you prayerfully depend on what God says in His Word. John's Gospel and John's First Epistle are truly outstanding. (John's First Epistle is short: only 5 chapters but it's content is so assuring and searching to the believer.)

 

[Heart2Soul]

Hi my name is Brent and I would really appreciate your help and thoughts on this horrible experience that I had, thankyou!


For the past couple of years when I stopped going to church I drifted away from God and moved in with this girl. I got into alcohol and drugs and sex and I did alot of horrible things that I'm ashamed of. She even had an abortion. I was really deceived at the time thinking that God was out to get me and I would get angry at him alot. I would go a little ways then repent and feel ashamed for what I was doing. But I would get angry at little things in life, like work or doing something humiliating around people led me back to drinking. I would get serious about following God for a few months then i would fall off the wagon again and this kept happening.

I had quit drinking alcohol and realized my error and how horrible I have been. I think I was going through alcohol withdrawal induced psychosis which made me hear and think bizarre things. I thought I was doomed and had to kill myself, I went up to the rooftop to jump but I didn't, im hoping it was God who was protecting me. This got so bad that my brother had to call the police on me because he was afraid I would try to jump.

They brought me to the mental hospital and they put me on medication and I got back into the word of God more serious than before and even tried to read with some of the other patients and evangelize. Then I felt another alcohol withdrawal psychosis attack coming on, and the patients at the hospital looked at me and were laughing saying repeatedly abortion is wrong, it felt like every patient there was being controlled to be against me! Then I heard a voice saying sorry son but you really hurt me and I felt this bubble leave my stomach area and I was afraid this was the Holy Spirit.

I went out into the hall and one of the patients was standing down the hall. I looked at her and felt absolutely terrified and had no strength(like they had some spirit). They said call your mom and tell her to come and pick you up, and I want you and the other 5 who lost the Holy Spirit on a cross and you can say, this is my mother take care of her. She then said that I was so selfish and all she wanted to do was to love me. I went back to my room and things went really badly that night, I totally lost control and hit a patient because I heard a voice telling me what to and I thought I was dead. Then rest of the time at the hospital went by and I kept in God's words and talking to the patients about Christ despite what happened even though I was feeling really hopless.

I got out of the hospital and went like 2 months without drinking, then I fell into it again. Now I'm 100 percent done with the alcohol and have done alot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ. I'm just afraid that what happened at the hospital was really and God really did take His Holy Spirit from me and Im doomed.

I dont know who else to tell about this I feel really defeated because of this and hopless, sorry I know this is a long message but I am wondering what your thoughts are please. I dont want to lose my relationship with God, but I've been reading alot of the scriptures where if you turn away from God then you can never be brought back to repentance and other scriptures like that. And I was worse into alcohol and drugs for those years, now I have turned from alcohol and drugs and back to God but there is still this doom that hangs over me and I am trying to seek God's face buy these horrible thoughts keep popping into my mind that are against God and I hate them.

I dont know what is going on and I'm afraid it's too late and it was God at the hospital who took His spirit from me, please help

Brent, first thing is to call out to God and ask for forgiveness....repent. Ask Jesus into your heart.
Then began to speak His Word over yourself....
Isaiah 54:17
“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.”
— Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
1 John 1 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
⁸ If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

These are just a couple...
And know that He never left you or forsook you....you left Him
..but He is still where He was before you left Him. Waiting with open arms to bring you back into His fold.

God Bless

 

[Curtis]

Hi my name is Brent and I would really appreciate your help and thoughts on this horrible experience that I had, thankyou!


For the past couple of years when I stopped going to church I drifted away from God and moved in with this girl. I got into alcohol and drugs and sex and I did alot of horrible things that I'm ashamed of. She even had an abortion. I was really deceived at the time thinking that God was out to get me and I would get angry at him alot. I would go a little ways then repent and feel ashamed for what I was doing. But I would get angry at little things in life, like work or doing something humiliating around people led me back to drinking. I would get serious about following God for a few months then i would fall off the wagon again and this kept happening.

I had quit drinking alcohol and realized my error and how horrible I have been. I think I was going through alcohol withdrawal induced psychosis which made me hear and think bizarre things. I thought I was doomed and had to kill myself, I went up to the rooftop to jump but I didn't, im hoping it was God who was protecting me. This got so bad that my brother had to call the police on me because he was afraid I would try to jump.

They brought me to the mental hospital and they put me on medication and I got back into the word of God more serious than before and even tried to read with some of the other patients and evangelize. Then I felt another alcohol withdrawal psychosis attack coming on, and the patients at the hospital looked at me and were laughing saying repeatedly abortion is wrong, it felt like every patient there was being controlled to be against me! Then I heard a voice saying sorry son but you really hurt me and I felt this bubble leave my stomach area and I was afraid this was the Holy Spirit.

I went out into the hall and one of the patients was standing down the hall. I looked at her and felt absolutely terrified and had no strength(like they had some spirit). They said call your mom and tell her to come and pick you up, and I want you and the other 5 who lost the Holy Spirit on a cross and you can say, this is my mother take care of her. She then said that I was so selfish and all she wanted to do was to love me. I went back to my room and things went really badly that night, I totally lost control and hit a patient because I heard a voice telling me what to and I thought I was dead. Then rest of the time at the hospital went by and I kept in God's words and talking to the patients about Christ despite what happened even though I was feeling really hopless.

I got out of the hospital and went like 2 months without drinking, then I fell into it again. Now I'm 100 percent done with the alcohol and have done alot of praying and reading God's word and telling my brother about Christ. I'm just afraid that what happened at the hospital was really and God really did take His Holy Spirit from me and Im doomed.

I dont know who else to tell about this I feel really defeated because of this and hopless, sorry I know this is a long message but I am wondering what your thoughts are please. I dont want to lose my relationship with God, but I've been reading alot of the scriptures where if you turn away from God then you can never be brought back to repentance and other scriptures like that. And I was worse into alcohol and drugs for those years, now I have turned from alcohol and drugs and back to God but there is still this doom that hangs over me and I am trying to seek God's face buy these horrible thoughts keep popping into my mind that are against God and I hate them.

I dont know what is going on and I'm afraid it's too late and it was God at the hospital who took His spirit from me, please help

1 John 1:9 states that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Whatever sins you’ve committed are forgiven and forgotten by God when you sincerely repent.

While it’s possible to grieve the Holy Spirit and fail to remain in Christ by living a lifestyle of unrepentant sin, the cure for that is repentance and re-dedicating your life to Jesus.

However, many people believe in Jesus but never actually receive Jesus as their savior, so if you've never prayed to receive Him as your savior, this prayer is effective, and biblical:

Lord Jesus, I believe you died on a cross for our sins, and then rose from the dead - please come into my heart, forgive my sins, save my soul, and make me a new creature.

This prayer combines relevant scriptures from Romans 10:8-13, John 1:12, Acts 3:19, Revelation 3:20 and Ephesians 3:17.

Blessings.

 

[quietthinker]

Thankyou for the reply. Im just trying to get my zeal and passion back for God and His word that I've previously had and I feel very distant

Hello Brent, I say what I’m about to say with respect. It’s time you stopped talking about God to others till you have learnt to listen because there’s every chance you don’t know what your talking about.

The condemning voices are not God’s, you can be certain of that. In quietness you can ask God to enable your ears to hear the things you need to hear.

Be patient and get in touch with Alcholics Anonymous .... listen and do what they ask you to do... in fact, listen up big.

You are loved brother!

 

[An Apologetic Sheepdog]

Thankyou for the reply and prayers. Yeah I hope as I continue in God's word and prayer and spreading the Gospel I will grow closer to God

Just an observation based on the aggregate of your posts but frankly I do not believe at this point ( based on your own account) that you are either qualified or capable of "spreading the Gospel" or actively doing "anything" for the Lord. I advise you even attempting it at the moment.

If your account and details are correct, you need to have a "Come to Jesus" event for yourself and get your own house in order ( internally and externally) before you attempt anything service related.

Nowhere in Scripture did God ever send anyone out until they were trained and prepared for the task and you are not going too be the first.

 

[MatthewG]

James 5:8 You too, be patient; strengthen your hearts [keep them energized and firmly committed to God], because the coming of the Lord is near.

Remember that God is a loving, merciful, forgiving God. Your Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is what overcomes the world itself even God is greater than our hearts.

1 John 5:4
For whosoever is born of God overcometh the world. And this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.

1 John 3: 18Little children, let us love not in word and speech, but in action and truth. 19And by this we will know that we belong to the truth, and will assure our hearts in His presence: 20Even if our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and He knows all things.


Take care. Thank you all for the encouraging posts.