Internet friends and relationships

[Angelina]

Hi everyone!

My friend and I were discussing this topic the other day and I thought that it would be a good point for discussion...

I have many friends on various forums, mostly from the United States and have gotten to know them a little better over time.
I have also found that my friends on-line are just as important to me as those I know physically. When we have disagreements or argue over some point...it can cause a break in communication for a time, until someone breaks the silence and communication is restored once again. I love my on-line friends and hope to meet them in the flesh some day.

I also know that the internet can be a hostile environment where people can create an image of themselves that is not real and I personally, do not put up any pics of myself [added: or my real name] because of security reasons . Any thoughts or experiences to share? :huh:

Blessings!!!

 

[Vengle]

I am 19 years of age for forty years now come next May.

I am fit and trim but for being a little out of shape and carrying a few extra pounds.

I am 6 feet 8 inches tall when standing on a milk crate.

And I am dashingly good looking regardless of what other people say.

But I don't post my picture either, for insecurity reasons of course.

Life is not living without good friends and loved ones.

 

[Angelina]

Lol! very funny! :lol:

 

[Prentis]

I am 19 years of age for forty years now come next May.

I am fit and trim but for being a little out of shape and carrying a few extra pounds.

I am 6 feet 8 inches tall when standing on a milk crate.

And I am dashingly good looking regardless of what other people say.

But I don't post my picture either, for insecurity reasons of course.

Thanks for telling us a little about yourself, Vengle.

Let's see... I'm 19 years of age, for one year come this June.

I wear my clothes fit and trim, other than the loose inch or so.

I sit about 4 feet short.

And I posted my picture because of my naive lack of concern both for my security and insecurity.

We really don't much in common Vengle... Except for the fact we both look dashingly good, despite what everyone might say!

:lol:

 

[Angelina]

Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences to share regarding on-line friendships or relationships?

Bless you... ^_^

 

[FHII]

Well, I met the woman who would become my wife online and it worked out great! I've also had a lot of interesting conversations and debates about religion as well as other topics that I've never met and some that I ended up meeting. Two of them I'd like to tell you about involve the topic of fitness. Both of these fella's and I disagreed alot about the approach, but we were cordial. One guy I ended up meeting and the other I never did meet. Haven't heard from them in many years, but we disagreed on some things, but by staying friendly we were able to converse for about 5 years. If either of these guys emailed me today, I'd love to hear from them, talk about old times and find out what's been up with them lately.

Do I have horror stories? No, not really. Close but I knew to cut if off when things got bad. One fella used to like to IM me and he loved to talk about weird stuff and push me to the edge. When I got angry and said said something harsh (happened a few times), he'd report me to the IM service and they'd send me a nasty email. I quickly learned 1. IM is not something I should do; and 2. Don't bother with someone who pisses you off.

So overall, I think it's ok, just as long as you maintain a level head and some common sense. Is it worse than before the age of computers? In some sense yes, but only because information travels so fast. I'm 42, and can remember a time where you'd have to actually meet or talk with someone live on the phone to meet them. Even then, relationships weren't what they seemed. The net just makes it easier and quicker to be a phony person.

 

[Angelina]

Thanks FHI!

I'm glad that your on-line relationship turned out so well... and I agree, you can meet some really nice people on the net and also some crazy characters.

Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

Bless you!

 

[FHII]

Thanks FHI!

I'm glad that your on-line relationship turned out so well... and I agree, you can meet some really nice people on the net and also some crazy characters.

Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

Bless you!

No problem.... I forgot to add that if I had children that were 17 and under, I'd monitor and/or limit them in such situations. However, I'd do the same in personal meetings as well. If a boy wants to take out a daughter of mine, I'm gonna meet him first!

("What if a son of mine wants to take out a girl" you may ask? Well..... )

 

[biggandyy]

Hey Angie, if I can find out your real name do I win a prize? Wait, is that cyber stalking? I suppose if I have to ask the question it is already answered

But to answer your question, I don't know. I am a guy, and by default we can generally turn on and off relationships like a light switch (much to the chagrin of those who love us). I am not saying in a permanent fashion, but we can just as easily invest time and care and tenderness into someone as we can ignore, underappreciate, and be downright mean.

That is also to say we don't hurt when we are hurt by someone we care for, it can tear me up inside. But I can also put aside those feelings and trust that I've made a commitment and I don't have to feel all warm and fuzzy in order to honor that commitment.

 

[rockytopva]

I think that there are general levels of relationship

1. Strangers
2. Friends
3. Best Friends
4. Engagement
5. Marriage

I think before upgrading a relationship into the upper escutcheons people should at least consider meeting at church or Starbucks or somewhere to see if the chemistry is there. I would be totally cautious with strangers as you never know what they are exaggerating, or even, what they may hide in closed closets! I discussed this at work to a friend of mine who said that his parents dated for two years before tying the knot. If you can find someone who is honest with you and you with them, and the chemistry is there... You have found a precious gem indeed!

 

[Angelina]

But to answer your question, I don't know. I am a guy, and by default we can generally turn on and off relationships like a light switch (much to the chagrin of those who love us). I am not saying in a permanent fashion, but we can just as easily invest time and care and tenderness into someone as we can ignore, underappreciate, and be downright mean.

That is also to say we don't hurt when we are hurt by someone we care for, it can tear me up inside. But I can also put aside those feelings and trust that I've made a commitment and I don't have to feel all warm and fuzzy in order to honor that commitment.

Well said Andy!
Mars and Venus I guess...

I think before upgrading a relationship into the upper escutcheons people should at least consider meeting at church or Starbucks or somewhere to see if the chemistry is there. I would be totally cautious with strangers as you never know what they are exaggerating, or even, what they may hide in closed closets! I discussed this at work to a friend of mine who said that his parents dated for two years before tying the knot. If you can find someone who is honest with you and you with them, and the chemistry is there... You have found a precious gem indeed!

Thanks Rocky for your input...there seems to be some distance between on-line friends and what you are describing here....I guess it all depends on how each person perceives it to be.... :huh:

Blessings!!!

 

[THE Gypsy]

Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences to share regarding on-line friendships or relationships?

Bless you... ^_^

During a very busy hurricane season, my sister bought a house in FL. She took possession of it shortly before Hurricane Charlie hit. Due to her failing health, I was staying with her to nurse her through open heart surgery. ANYHOW...A result of just getting the house right before the hurricane, we were not prepared. I went to the local Home Depot for some water proof tape (so we could secure the doors and windows), and some Tapcon screws so we could secure plywood over the huge sliding glass doors. They were sold out, as was Lowes, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and anyone else you want to throw in there.

Discouraged, depressed, and yes...somewhat fearful of the impending doom...I went home and signed onto a forum I had been on for awhile, mainly to just vent, and in about 5 minutes one of the guys PM'd me asking for my address. The next day, via FedEx, I received a box of duct tape, waterproof tape and Tapcon screws, from Ohio! About 3 hours after we finished getting everything braced, the first rains started.

God bless 'em...We would have been toast without those items.

 

[Shirley]

HalleluYAH Awesome report Gypsy. I've only just recently got on line and found Christian friends. What a blessing it has been to me! In most cases these Christian friends found me. I'm delighted and so thankful to our Father! My whole life is better b/c of Gods people I found on line.

 

[Prentis]

During a very busy hurricane season, my sister bought a house in FL. She took possession of it shortly before Hurricane Charlie hit. Due to her failing health, I was staying with her to nurse her through open heart surgery. ANYHOW...A result of just getting the house right before the hurricane, we were not prepared. I went to the local Home Depot for some water proof tape (so we could secure the doors and windows), and some Tapcon screws so we could secure plywood over the huge sliding glass doors. They were sold out, as was Lowes, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and anyone else you want to throw in there.

Discouraged, depressed, and yes...somewhat fearful of the impending doom...I went home and signed onto a forum I had been on for awhile, mainly to just vent, and in about 5 minutes one of the guys PM'd me asking for my address. The next day, via FedEx, I received a box of duct tape, waterproof tape and Tapcon screws, from Ohio! About 3 hours after we finished getting everything braced, the first rains started.

God bless 'em...We would have been toast without those items.

Wow... Neat story, Gypsy, the Lord provides! Blessings to you!

I agree Shirley, what would we be without our brothers and sisters? They have saved me from death!

 

[Angelina]

Amen Gypsy!

I use to be part of a forum that went down 2 years ago and I'm so grateful to God that just about every member found each other again. That is because we became like family....

Blessings!!!

 

[Comm.Arnold]

During a very busy hurricane season, my sister bought a house in FL. She took possession of it shortly before Hurricane Charlie hit. Due to her failing health, I was staying with her to nurse her through open heart surgery. ANYHOW...A result of just getting the house right before the hurricane, we were not prepared. I went to the local Home Depot for some water proof tape (so we could secure the doors and windows), and some Tapcon screws so we could secure plywood over the huge sliding glass doors. They were sold out, as was Lowes, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and anyone else you want to throw in there.

Discouraged, depressed, and yes...somewhat fearful of the impending doom...I went home and signed onto a forum I had been on for awhile, mainly to just vent, and in about 5 minutes one of the guys PM'd me asking for my address. The next day, via FedEx, I received a box of duct tape, waterproof tape and Tapcon screws, from Ohio! About 3 hours after we finished getting everything braced, the first rains started.

God bless 'em...We would have been toast without those items.

Epic Jesus win ! That is awesome.

I like meeting people on this internet, as I have a hard time comnnecting with people face to face nobody annoys me that much on this forum. I've met a few interesting blokes from England and New Zealand over the years they are so friendly they always tell me "you got a place to stay if you wanna come visit".

 

[Redeemed86]

I think it depends on the context of the friendship. If you are looking to make a best friend, it's just more practical to meet someone in person at a job/church/hobbie spot. I have personally met someone I called a friend online and we talked for years and then would have it out, every so often, and not speak for a while. We'd always start talking again and then the same thing would occur after a while. I finally realized that I was just tolerating this person, rather than looking forward to speaking with them. After a while, the hidden side came out and I feel that God pointed me towards the exit . This was over a year ago and we haven't spoken since.

It's a lesson learned that I don't regret, but I am more realistic in my expectations for people I can't meet in person. No matter how compatible you think you are, online chemistry doesn't compare to physical chemistry. Not to say you can't potentially find a significant other or close friend, but you can't really call them that until you meet in person anyway. At least, not in what I define as close.

If they were made online and don't live near you, I think it's wise to preface whatever title you've given them with "online".