Hi Grailhunter,
I had asked in another thread, I forget which one now, but who gives mortal man to marry anyone, if a couple live together and have taken vows to stay together is that not marriage in the eyes of God, instead of filling out a piece of paper which to me is like signing a contract, and then having to pay whatever Church you choose to marry you, can one not take their vows and promise the Lord that they are forever one?
Here is some posts in this thread to catch you up....241....242....248
Well the simple answer is that, from the moment a couple lays eyes on each other....to the moment they are on their front porch sitting on twin rocking chairs watching the traffic go by and their grandchildren playing on the swing....no sin occurred whether they had a wedding or not.
Contracts, vows, and weddings do not keep couples together.....love and respect and the appreciation of home and family and a devotion to God keep couples together.
In the Old Testament women were treated like property so in some cases contracts were written and "money" exchanged. There were no weddings or vows....per say. That does not mean that they did not have traditions and marriage celebrations, but how often all that occurred, no one knows.
The first documented Christian wedding occurred in the 9th century AD. But that does not mean that none occurred before that. The Gentiles took over the helm of the Church in the 2nd or 3rd century and they come from a long history of weddings. Publicly known weddings in the Middle Ages were probably driven by necessity to document power shifts and wealth from one region to another.
Modern marriages, depending on where you live have legalities whether you have a wedding or not. Societies answer for keeping couples together was to develop a legal system that made divorce a horrifying experience. Pretty much punishing everyone involved, including the children. But obviously that did not work....what percentage of people that you know that by the age of 50 have had a divorce at some time.
Now I am going to go out on a limb and say that most people do not wait to have sex until after they have a wedding. Funny story; I had a friend that was a Southern Baptist preacher that said if you had sex before a wedding, you cursed your marriage in the eyes of God. So I said, Then for heaven sakes, don't have a wedding! He did not like that. He also believed that all sexual desire was lust, whether you were married or not. LOL Horse hockey.
The thing is, for Christians, weddings are now our custom. And why not? Why not include God in your marriage? The families get together in a church and the couple exchange vows of love and commitment and go on to celebrate the marriage. It is one of the reasons that I believe the greatest gift you can give your children is to raise them in a Christian family and the church. By the time they are adults they know that relationships are serious and know the importance of families. A young Christian couple that attend church and fellowship with other Christians and stand and worship the Lord have a better chance in life and marriage. That is my opinion. Birds of a feather flock together...LOL The Bible does not say that, but that is the message. This world is a crazy place and people need that anchor to keep their lives on an even keel.