It's Personal

[aspen]

many Christians who post here take disagreements about doctrine or church practices, personally. I am wondering why. If you are a person who finds yourself angry or feeling compelled to make sure everyone knows how wrong other Christians are when they disagree with you - please let me know why it appears like you are personally affected.

 

[Helen]

many Christians who post here take disagreements about doctrine or church practices, personally. I am wondering why. If you are a person who finds yourself angry or feeling compelled to make sure everyone knows how wrong other Christians are when they disagree with you - please let me know why it appears like you are personally affected.

Well said @aspen ...
I can only guess that when people do that they are just showing everyone else here how "right" they are...and how wrong the other person is.
People who have a low self image like that, always need to be seen to be in the right.

Maybe their parents were perfectionist, and they grew up as children "having to perform"...rather than feeling secure and loved even when they made mistakes.

I will go a couple of rounds with someone I disagree with, but when the 'name-calling' starts I just lose interest....when I am told that I am wrong/shy/too scared to answer / Etc ...I just start sidestepping the person. A person who cannot respect another person's point of view is not worth the time. Those are time wasters and it just goes in silly circles.
But that said, I *DO respect the many on this site who "lay out their case" , and the responder also "lays out his case"...and they DO actually discuss their differences like adults. That to me is maturity.
It is the immature who cannot come to the place of allowing the other person to have their own opinion or point of view , or what they believe God has shown to them.
Some are more interested in "right v wrong" than they are in maintaining a relationship. The issue is never the issue....
Life or death is always the issue....
Deut 30 19 "I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose LIFE..."

God bless....H

 

[aspen]

I tend to think that people often over identify with their beliefs and opinions - so, belief in Catholic doctrine, for example, instead of merely being an opinion of the true self, masquerades as the true self. Deep down, I know I am more than my thoughts and feelings and belief systems, but because I live from my false self, I am insecure and cling to external identities like doctrines and rituals and politics and titles. Any disagreement with my opinion of myself (false self) which is my house built on sand, is like the ocean threaten a sand castle - it is seen as an attempt to annihilate my very being and I will fight to the death to preserve my false self.

 

[Helen]

Very true. I hadn't looked at it that way before. Thank you.

I think when it comes to communication with others, I remember my mother. She always told us children..."..it is not WHAT you say, it is HOW you say it that counts..."
We can disagree with people and still remain friends...yet some would rather be perceived right , at the cost of a relationship. That is sad. Any real communication is then gone, right out of the window!
In conversation a person can have maybe the word of the lord for a situation, but without the 'Spirit of the lord' also along with the word it is just dead, flat, and powerless.
This is not the best illustration , but a friend had the feeling that he was quite sick. One Sunday, before the meeting, a woman came up to him and said :- Got told me you are very sick.
That was it! Nothing else. It was like a wet fish in his face.
All it did was confirm what he already felt. ( the Spirit of the Father was not there)
After the meeting an eleven year old girl came up to him and said.
God told me to tell you, "Satan desires to sift you as wheat, but I have prayed that you faith fails not."
One message was given coldly without heart. ( or anointing)
The second one spoke right to his heart. He went home, thanked God , and told Him that the matter was now settled, and he would rest in faith. He never thought of his condition again, and got on with his life. About three weeks later I asked him how he was doing now. He said:- " Oh I'm feeling great, I had forgotten all about it and the symptoms have all totally gone!" I have never forgotten that.
During argument on this site, maybe what some people say (unkindly) may be true...but the words remain unfruitful.
Yet the same correction in a kindly manner could well bare fruit in the hearer.
Would it be correct to say that factual truth without the Spirit Of Truth also..is impotent, unfruitful, 'dead letter'?
“Who has also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.”
What do you think? Shouldn't everything that we are involved in be 'by the Spirit.'

 

[aspen]

Yes, people who are subtle as a train wreck often justify themselves as simply telling the truth. Nothing but damage results.

I have a friend who is LDS. We enjoy discussing similarities and differences between Catholic and LDS doctrine; it can get heated at times. Although doctrine is always up for discussion, we never question each other's faith in God; it is sacred and respected by both of us. Damaging a person's ability to trust and 'suspend their negative internal voice' long enough to learn (faith), and then, expecting them to embrace new ideas about doctrine is ridiculous. Most LDS people who are pantsed and humiliated out of their faith in the Mormon view of God become atheists because they feel betrayed. Doctrinal discussion is great when you are not over identified with your doctrine; questioning and insulting and mocking another person's faith often leads to a person feeling betrayed and bitter.