The Body Rejects The Transplant- AKA: Shunned By Believers

[VictoryinJesus]

Also, this is a classic example of why you should confess your faults to one another, and your sins to God only. IT was explained to me thusly:

Suppose you are a guy in a church and you find another man's wife attractive, and tell another member how you feel. The one you told will remember you told him that, and it may affect your relationship, even thought it was not his wife.
Take those things to Jesus. You can tell others "I judge too much"" or "pray for me, I get angry easily".Then your brethren can pray for you. They don't need to know everything. that is why I am so thankful that HE is Our Judge.

How much differently would the OP have been treated by some here, had he not revealed what he did.

Considering your point of when is it too much info. If the OP would not have revealed what he did…would he have been treated any differently by simply saying “I have sinned.” Probably so. But based off of what? Lack of info. Let’s say they go to a church and become a member…a full active member who is there always and then years down the road comes out he (she?) was charged with watching children porn. Then …I could be wrong but (Imo) the same reaction would be of this shrinking away from of members being shocked “we didn’t know there was someone charged with watching children porn among us” …we may say…no it would be a different reaction because after being a member for a while they would have proven themselves to the body. Seriously….I don’t think it would go that way even though we dream it would…but it would most likely be viewed then as sketchy behavior …then it would be accusations of “why didn’t they come clean ever and tell the body? What is up with that? Now I feel like I was left in the dark while having interactions with this person.”

So the advice seems to be …go on to church but don’t tell anyone. It’s none of their business? Just say you sinned and keep it at that. I still think what is hidden in darkness is eventually going to come out unto the Light. Either today or later on down the road…it does make me think of where Paul told Timothy to drink no longer water but to take a little wine for his stomachs sake. He says a peculiar thing that really doesn’t make sense….some people’s sins are opened before, going on to judgment, some people’s sins come after.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I’ll get straight to the point. My greatest difficulty in continuing my walk with God is other believers. Or rather, I should say, a lack of support or encouragement from them. I completely understand that my past plays a huge role in my situation and I do not disregard that fact. However, to be completely shunned by several churches and then basically lost in the mix at the church I found that has yet to judge me based on my history, has hurt so deeply that I just don’t know what to do. I’ll not give up my faith, but am tired of feeling as if I will never belong until I’m called home.
To be blatantly honest, I was arrested for charges involving visiting websites that were illegal (children). I am not justifying what I did, but several factors played into that occurring and although I could go into detail I won’t as the demons of my past will get no glory in this situation. At the end of the day I was the one who made the wrong choices. However, while in jail, I had a Damascus Road experience which I will put in the testimony section sometime, and completely surrendered to God. I am no longer the man I was. By the grace of God I have been released with all charges dropped. I had hoped that there would be exponential growth with my freedom, but it has been slow going. Churches refusing to discuss my attendance. People refusing to talk to me. I gained Christ in the walls of the jail, but lost everything I owned, all of my friends, and all but one family member. I hoped the body of believers would be welcoming, but I feel like the organ that the body rejects after transplant. I feel like the leper who is “unclean” although I’ve been cleansed. I feel like my truth, my testimony, my existence cannot be accepted by humanity. I understand that Paul faced a tough journey in overcoming his past, but at least he had someone who stood with him and believed in him (Barnabas).
I am just feeling discouraged. I’ll not lie about what I did, but wish believers truly understood that sins weigh the same. Our lies, our selfishness, our inability to forgive, our cruelty, and our self righteousness are the same as the horrendous viewing habits of my past. All are covered by the blood of Jesus. I forgive my abusers, my haters, my rejectors- because I am no better. Only by the grace of God am I forgiven and by His grace, “I am what I am.”

Child sex offenders are a sore spot for just about anyone. (Children are hurt in child pornography too).

While Christians have to judge you according to your actions today anyone who feels they have children to protect are going to make protecting them their priority, as that is first before God. The raising of our children.

You might have an easier time in a church with an older membership. Younger people have kids. Older people don't.

That said, I listened to a sermon recently where part of the sermon was on church members themselves and how going to church generally is about learning to love one another despite their failings.

While we often think of love as something we should first receive, God wants us also to love even when we don't get any in return.

Perhaps this is part of your trial (we all have trials as Christians), learning how to love others even though they don't deserve it, even when they don't reciprocate that love.

Christ died for you even when you were His enemy, he asks us to follow him. That means doing an amount of loving people who won't love you back.

Our reward for all we do as Christians isn't this side of heaven.

But I would look specifically for a church that had an older membership. You might fit in a little better and get less judgement.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians: who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” Brennan Manning sums up my fears for other “newbies” in faith.

For what it’s worth I want to share something with you. You said “Brennan Manning sums up my fears for other “newbies” in faith.”

What stands out there is “newbies”. to me I see babes in Christ, little children. You are struggling with rejection for watching children porn. Can or could God perform a miraculous work of restoration—by taking someone guilty of what you have shared and sending them not into a literal children’s program…but Instead His (excelling a step further) sending them into the ministry of helping His “newbies” …the little children of Christ . Does that make sense? Could it be possible God has turned your attention away from children porn to now helping His “newbies” God’s little children …the ones you spoke of concern for. Where man is saying I’m skeptical of you. Your father is sending you to help His “newbies”…His little children that are new in the Faith. Other necessary organs that have been rejected after the transplant. Sounds like something He would do to me….I want to see it! I want to see God take someone and draw them out of the unforgivable and restore them sending them to “newbies” …yes I want to be a witness to that. Just Don’t tell God if He sends you to His newbies that you’re concerned over “I can’t now. I just old them I was charged with watching children’s porn?”

 

[Cassandra]

Considering your point of when is it too much info. If the OP would not have revealed what he did…would he have been treated any differently by simply saying “I have sinned.” Probably so. But based off of what? Lack of info. Let’s say they go to a church and become a member…a full active member who is there always and then years down the road comes out he (she?) was charged with watching children porn. Then …I could be wrong but (Imo) the same reaction would be of this shrinking away from of members being shocked “we didn’t know there was someone charged with watching children porn among us” …we may say…no it would be a different reaction because after being a member for a while they would have proven themselves to the body. Seriously….I don’t think it would go that way even though we dream it would…but it would most likely be viewed then as sketchy behavior …then it would be accusations of “why didn’t they come clean ever and tell the body? What is up with that? Now I feel like I was left in the dark while having interactions with this person.”

So the advice seems to be …go on to church but don’t tell anyone. It’s none of their business? Just say you sinned and keep it at that. I still think what is hidden in darkness is eventually going to come out unto the Light. Either today or later on down the road…it does make me think of where Paul told Timothy to drink no longer water but to take a little wine for his stomachs sake. He says a peculiar thing that really doesn’t make sense….some people’s sins are opened before, going on to judgment, some people’s sins come after.

You don't need to tell everyone your sins. As for what is hidden in darkness--we all have a TON of things we wouldn't want others to know, and if we are forgiven by the Lord, no one will know. Tell those to Jesus.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

You don't need to tell everyone your sins. As for what is hidden in darkness--we all have a TON of things we wouldn't want others to know, and if we are forgiven by the Lord, no one will know. Tell those to Jesus.

Ok. I completely misunderstood then. Maybe you are right. Maybe I need to learn social interaction in what not to bring up and what to bring up. I do admit I may be too overwhelming and maybe a little crazy.

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

You mean like killing Saint Stephen?

Before Paul was born again...

 

[oncemoreintothefrey]

Before Paul was born again...

As was my past sins and are covered by His blood.

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

Be that as it may... people are going to have legitimate concerns about the safety of their families since many who do this type of sin go back to it. Complaining about them is not the thing to do.

 

[oncemoreintothefrey]

Be that as it may... people are going to have legitimate concerns about the safety of their families since many who do this type of sin go back to it. Complaining about them is not the thing to do.

Thank you for your input, but please refrain from jumping to conclusions regarding my intent. I am not complaining, but rather stating facts and sharing my experience. I am not opposed to the concerns people have, but was discouraged by the blatant avoidance shown by leadership in refusing to even discuss my attending church. I sought this prior to simply walking in the doors and causing issues as both I and my charges are known. God knows my heart and has shown me to a church that has accepted me.

 

[amigo de christo]

The true body of Christ will reject the transplant of another gospel and another jesus . Always remember that as well .

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

Thank you for your input, but please refrain from jumping to conclusions regarding my intent. I am not complaining, but rather stating facts and sharing my experience. I am not opposed to the concerns people have, but was discouraged by the blatant avoidance shown by leadership in refusing to even discuss my attending church. I sought this prior to simply walking in the doors and causing issues as both I and my charges are known. God knows my heart and has shown me to a church that has accepted me.

You can not control what others think or believe nor can you demand that they accept you.

If the dastardly deed took place before you got saved....WHY call them ahead of time and tell them?

Unless you had to register as an offender in which case it's all public knowledge.

If that's the situation than it's something that you'll have to live with as it's the law.

You'd be better of finding a men's bible study group and fellowship there... that way people with families won't be freaking out.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

You don't need to tell everyone your sins. As for what is hidden in darkness--we all have a TON of things we wouldn't want others to know, and if we are forgiven by the Lord, no one will know. Tell those to Jesus.

I’ve thought a lot about this and disagree. I asked my oldest if I could share their testimony but as I typed it out I realized I don’t know how to put it in words. So I will just share with you why I disagree. I’ve been in court and watched as one side does everything they can to protect their secrets and also the other side that is transparent regardless of the cost. That may not sound significant —being disregarded as “well that is different. That’s court.” but there is a whole history that I can’t possibly tell you in one post. The outcome is …one side walks away saving their image and by having that same mindset. say as little as possible so not to incriminate yourself. What it cost is …they never get to see their fault in it. You said those things we have done wrong will never need to be known because of Christ. Why would we not want those things we have done to never be known? Is that truly the promise? That if you believe in Christ then the promise is all you have done wrong will never be made known? I think the opposite…that because of Christ all we have ever done wrong will be broadcast to declare the magnitude of what Christ has overcome. (Imo) The work of Christ will be our not being ashamed in Him and His work …coming into One agreement with a great magnitude of reasons to give Him Thanksgiving. So I do disagree our hope is in never having our secrets revealed before others because we believe in Christ. I’m only telling you how I feel, whether it’s right or wrong.

Personally, I don’t think it is about our forgetting what wrong we have done but instead to keep us grateful and full of mercy and forgiveness. as I mentioned I have did things I am ashamed of. Within my family I do feel like the odd one out because what I did wrong. I can see how it would be helpful within a family for every member to be transparent with the outcome being every member reminded to not boast against their other family members. Same within the body of Christ (Imo). But this doesn’t work when it’s taught to remain quiet to save face or to protect “things we would never want anyone else to know”. You suggested take those things to Christ, tell Him. I agree but at the same time …I can go upstairs alone and talk to Him openly …but if my mindset once I come back down from confessing or repenting is to wipe the sweat off my brow and say “thank God I don’t have to tell any of that openly to others.” I don’t really think it cost me anything …but to be told to leave the sacrifice at the altar and go tell it to those you harmed …gee “now wait a minute! I thought all that was necessary Christ was my telling you? What is this? If I go tell any of your body I’ll be put to shame? Can’t it stay up in the attic when I’m alone with you? A secret between you and me?”

Right or wrong, I truly think we have it backwards. We have a member here in the thread being able to bash one coming in trying to be transparent…and the only reason they can even speak of how the one being transparent needs to get more humble …is because …I don’t know maybe it’s the other way around. Who needs to get real here? I get you may disagree but I wholeheartedly think every member in any church needs to get real and honest out in the open. I personally think they need to forget the fancy dress clothes and get naked (in allowing the truth to be told) then maybe God will provide the New Man as the clothing.

 

[oncemoreintothefrey]

You can not control what others think or believe nor can you demand that they accept you.

If the dastardly deed took place before you got saved....WHY call them ahead of time and tell them?

Unless you had to register as an offender in which case it's all public knowledge.

If that's the situation than it's something that you'll have to live with as it's the law.

You'd be better of finding a men's bible study group and fellowship there... that way people with families won't be freaking out.

I do not have to register as all charges were dropped and I call because it is known in the entire community (as I have stated). I have also found an accepting church and have not once demanded acceptance. I pray that the love and peace of God rests upon you.

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

If the charges were dropped, that means the DA has no evidence to convict.

So this should all be a non-issue publicly!

 

[oncemoreintothefrey]

If the charges were dropped, that means the DA has no evidence to convict.

So this should all be a non-issue publicly!

Unfortunately that has not been the reaction or public perception of those I have come in contact with.

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

Well, the police department and the DA's office is not going to make a fool of themselves, and endanger their career by trying to prosecute a case when they have no evidence so that's why the dropped the charges.

 

[Hazelelponi]

If the charges were dropped, that means the DA has no evidence to convict.

So this should all be a non-issue publicly!

His point, I think, is that he wants to be able to say "God delivered me from x"..

I mean, I tell people I used to be Muslim and I used to smoke cigarettes and God delivered me from those things.

So I get what he's saying, though perhaps his issue would make an encouraging book instead of in person testimony.

Though, he is saying he's found an accepting church so it seems a non issue other than trying to tell people the church should be more accepting of people with these issues.

Though if he ever went back to it the stain on Christians for allowing him near kids would be permanent. Perhaps that is what he is not understanding. Recitivism.

 

[oncemoreintothefrey]

His point, I think, is that he wants to be able to say "God delivered me from x"..

I mean, I tell people I used to be Muslim and I used to smoke cigarettes and God delivered me from those things.

So I get what he's saying, though perhaps his issue would make an encouraging book instead of in person testimony.

Though, he is saying he's found an accepting church so it seems a non issue other than trying to tell people the church should be more accepting of people with these issues.

Though if he ever went back to it the stain on Christians for allowing him near kids would be permanent. Perhaps that is what he is not understanding. Recitivism.

Thanks for the reply. I don’t negate the feelings and trepidation of others, but simply wonder how many have been driven away by similar actions. Some claim that if that happens it’s a weakness of faith, but the issue is that they are “babes” in Christ and not full fledged, spirit filled, snake handling pillars of faith (jk on the snakes).
Although we don’t know many details just imagine if Mary Magdalene (my favorite NT female), the man possessed by Legion, or the woman at the well were shunned by those around Jesus. It makes an impact regardless of what the person has done or been forgiven for. I am not naive to think that it will be all cotton candy and kittens, I know there will be bumps in the road. I also am not putting myself in situations that can be called into question. Just serving Him the best I can.

 

[marks]

At least I have God.

Coming to the end of every other reliance except God Himself is true treasure, to be fully committed to Him, having no other source.

Much love!

 

[The Learner]

Go out collect serveral others who have not come to Jesus and take them to church with you. with this book in mind In His Steps Themes | SuperSummary