Hi, Batheltler,
If you were ever saved--you are still saved. Period. But, if you are saved, you have certainly lost the "joy of salvation". While you are currently battling a "dark night of the soul" be assured that, since you care, repentance is still possible. Even if you don't feel like it--faith is not a feeling. Believers often get "soul exhaustion" when they have a besetting sin that they keep falling into. It seems that you have been battling this in your own strength and the Holy Spirit will often allow us to come to the end of ourselves, in His quest to rule over our hearts. The fact that you hate the sin is evidence that there is a struggle going on between your spirit and your flesh.
You might want to think of it this way--you have been trying, in your own strength, NOT to be and do what Satan bids you to do. That is to actually grant him too much power over your heart. Satan's demons operate well when the believer is in the negative mindset of trying not to sin. They know how to poke tempting thoughts into our heads--remember, they know our personal histories even better than we can recall. Believe me, you are simply not strong enough, in yourself, to battle the demons associated with sexual sin. It is one area where believers often fail repeatedly. That is why the new Gentile converts, told about, in the Book of Acts, were indirectly told to stay away from the pagan temples. They were told not to eat meat sacrificed to idols, for example--and the pagan temples were where you went to get it. All of the other things which they were told to avoid in Acts 15:19-21 were, in fact, associated with the pagan temples. In staying away from the pagan temples, they would not be tempted into other sins (temple prostitution, for example.) That teaching was reinforced with being told directly to avoid sexual immorality. But they did not leave them floundering--the Jerusalem council sent a delegation to the church at Antioch (which was something of a center for the Gentile churches of Asia Minor) to encourage and strengthen the faith of the believers there. The Holy Spirit can and will take away your desire to engage in sexual immorality but you may need to seek out the laying on of hands for healing you of the spiritual sickness that has overtaken you. Kicking any addiction is not fun, but it is possible through the power of the Holy Spirit (hint: that is why He is called our "Helper"). Your part is to quit re-wounding yourself and allow the Holy Spirit to heal you. At first, you may need to rely on the strength of another male believer who has been successful, to pray for and encourage you. Many churches have pornography-addiction ministries now--it would be good to find one and attend regularly. Prayer is extremely important--both by others for you and by you for yourself. When you are tempted--pray.
You will need to analyze when you fail--is it when you are lonely? Then avoid being alone. Replace a negative (feeling lonely) with a positive--helping others. You can easily find ways to replace a negative with a positive: helping the poor, volunteering at a church to cut the lawn, cooking for spiritual retreats, etc. Those who are successful learn these techniques. Not only does the alcoholic stay away from bars and those who drink, he helps the old widow next door to paint the trim on her house, patch her screen door, etc. When he is doing these things, he is not feeling unhappy and seeking to medicate his unhappiness with the [dubious] "pleasure" of being drunk.
I have prayed for you and will continue to do so as the Lord brings you to mind.