You believe Agapaō is exclusively a self sacrificial love and not a love that is based on affection or some kind of family love. This is erroneous because we see Jesus clearly having an affection alone for the rich young ruler involving the word Agapaō in Mark 10:21.
Mark 10:21 KJB
“Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.” - Agapaō
Strong's at BlueLetterBible:
Then
G1161 Jesus
G2424 beholding
G1689 him
G846 loved
G25 him, - Agapaō
Mark 10:21 NLT
“Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him. “There is still one thing you haven’t done,” he told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”” - Agapaō
The real reason why Peter was grieved was not because he did not understand the different meaning behind the kind of love Jesus was talking about but because Jesus asked a third time if Peter loved Him. It would not be a third time Jesus asked Peter he loved him if this was a different kind of word altogether being spoken about by Jesus.
John 21:17
“...Peter was grieved because he said unto him
the third time, Lovest thou me? -
Phileō.
Jesus used the word
Phileō in reference to love a third time in the conversation not because it was a different meaning but because the Bible has different words that express the same meaning (like: synonyms within a Thesaurus).
“He saith
G3004 unto him
G846 the third
G5154 time, Simon,
G4613 son of Jonas,
G2495 lovest
G5368 thou me?” -
Phileō.
If Phileō love is different than Agapaō love, than it would not be a third time that Jesus asked him if he loved him if it was an entirely different kind of word with an entirely different meaning. There would be no third time according to your viewpoint because you see Agapaō and Phileō love as completely different words with different meanings.
You see Phileō love as kind of like if I had a love for a McDonald's Phileō fish sandwich.
Think, no love can be self sacrificial without there being any kind of affection involved. Robots that are self sacrificial in loving actions does not mean that they are actually loving. One needs to have an affection first before one can be self sacrificing in their love. Affections lead to self sacrifice because you care and love the other person. We are not Vulcans or robots and neither is GOD. But you see the higher form of love as being exclusively self sacrificial without an affection so that is why this definition is erroneous.
Take for example Matthew 10:37.
Matthew 10:37
“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” - Phileō
Matthew 10:37 - Strongs at BlueLetterBible
He that loveth
G5368 father
G3962 or
G2228 mother
G3384 more than
G5228 me
G1691 is
G2076 not
G3756 worthy
G514 of me:
G3450 and
G2532 he that loveth
G5368 son
G5207 or
G2228 daughter
G2364 more than
G5228 me
G1691 is
G2076 not
G3756 worthy
G514 of me.
G3450
I take this as an affection mingled in with self sacrificial love. Yet, you would see this as an affection only because it uses the word Phileō.
Yet in context, we see that this kind of love is not just an affection alone but it is the kind of love that involves both affection and devotion by one's actions.
Here is the context of verse 37.
Matthew 10:34-39
34 “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.”
Notice in verse 34 that it talks about how Jesus says that he will be enemies or foes of our own household and that he comes to send a sword and not peace. Meaning our loyalty to our family is not our first priority anymore but it would now be Jesus Christ. For verse 38 says that the person does not take up their cross and follows Jesus is not worthy of Him. Verse 39 talks about how he that loses his life (for the Lord's sake) shall find it (save it). In other words, if we are to believe that this is a McDonald's Phileō fish type love (or an exclusive affection for humans) being spoken about here then it would be at the expense of the context because the context does not support an affection alone type love with no actions in Matthew 10:37. Jesus has in view that if we are to love Him in affection and by our actions together Him more than we would our family. Jesus in view desires us to pick up our cross and follow Him instead of following our families at the expense of our Lord's commands and duties.