www.ccel.org
The normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee
It's good, detailed and free.
For those who seek a deeper life in Christ.
Surrounding theme - Romans 6,7 and 8.
I was handed that book, 26 years ago, by a lovely spiritual minded Christian lady, who sadly died that year from breast cancer.
I had shared with her my struggles, in the 17 years since I had become a believer. Some of it I now know was because I was undiagnosed neurodivergent, with concentration problems, and although I tried my best, I just felt such a failure as a Christian, and had a heavy burden on my back just as in Pilgrims Progress.
It just felt it too much to try to remember the rules from the Bible and obey them, reading the Bible and praying as much as I thought I should and falling on my face so often when thinking of the future and trusting God, being married to an alcoholic.
I had been a Calvinist for quite a bit of that time, and in church I felt I could not fit as they seemed to take it all in their stride.
I could not find anyone who could speak to my condition until I met Watchman Nee and he perfectly described me as NOT living a normal Christian life, but them he told me how to do it.
He said that rather than me struggling I should just believe that Christ had gained sanctification for me on the cross. It was already done and I was only required to believe that and surrender myself to Him.
There was a flash and I knew it was the truth and that it was the answer. I was immediately transported to a place full of light and for three days I was on the mountain top full of joyful peace.
It was like landing on another planet and even colours looked different. For three days I could think of nothing else and had to ask the Lord to stop as I felt my poor little heart could not take it.
The intensity reduced but it was still a heavenly place. I knew that he Lord had given me the pure heart I had longed for and I knew that I was at last walking in utter obedience to Him without effort.
The Bible seals opened up, and I was taught direcly by Him for that three days, and learned much more than the previous 17 years.
I was able to remain in that state for many months but fell from it because I had grown so used to it and began to lean on my own understanding over something.
I have hst downloaded Nees' book so might come back to say more but I recommend it if anyone is seeking.