Can non-virgins marry?

[DuckieLady]

I drank too much coffee so I've spent hours thinking about this. It's also 4:40 AM now, so if I don't make sense, please forgive me.

I've been praying for God to help me get married for years and now I've come to the conclusion that he hasn't answered because it's a no. Now after obsessing about it for hours, I believe the reason is I am not a virgin.

1. Anyone before marriage is considered adultery, and even though after I made mistakes, I waited and I was patient for a REALLY LONG TIME, those mistakes still happened to begin with and I can't do anything about it now.

2. The woman is the helper, she was God's gift to the man, and maybe God sees it as I would not be considered a good gift to ANYONE because of that, so I am destined to be alone forever, and I need to be content with that.

Is this Biblically accurate?

I want to know, so that I can stop caring and obsess about other things I want to do.

 

[Josho]

I drank too much coffee so I've spent hours thinking about this. It's also 4:40 AM now, so if I don't make sense, please forgive me.

I've been praying for God to help me get married for years and now I've come to the conclusion that he hasn't answered because it's a no. Now after obsessing about it for hours, I believe the reason is I am not a virgin.

1. Anyone before marriage is considered adultery, and even though after I made mistakes, I waited and I was patient for a REALLY LONG TIME, those mistakes still happened to begin with and I can't do anything about it now.

2. The woman is the helper, she was God's gift to the man, and maybe God sees it as I would not be considered a good gift to ANYONE because of that, so I am destined to be alone forever, and I need to be content with that.

Is this Biblically accurate?

I want to know, so that I can stop caring and obsess about other things I want to do.

That is not a reason and God forgives, I am sure you have repented and are forgiven.

For what ever reason this just came to mind "He makes the crooked paths straight."

 

[DuckieLady]

That is not a reason and God forgives, I am sure you have repented and are forgiven.

For what ever reason this just came to mind "He makes the crooked paths straight."

I hope so...

I looked up your crooked paths thing and the first article it came to for me was this one about the devil's accusations about your past to discourage you. Very on point... Thank you.

(it was this one, if you were curious)
https://www.jesusrestores.com/blog/he-makes-crooked-paths-straight

(it is extremely long winded but I got the gist)

 

[Robert Gwin]

I drank too much coffee so I've spent hours thinking about this. It's also 4:40 AM now, so if I don't make sense, please forgive me.

I've been praying for God to help me get married for years and now I've come to the conclusion that he hasn't answered because it's a no. Now after obsessing about it for hours, I believe the reason is I am not a virgin.

1. Anyone before marriage is considered adultery, and even though after I made mistakes, I waited and I was patient for a REALLY LONG TIME, those mistakes still happened to begin with and I can't do anything about it now.

2. The woman is the helper, she was God's gift to the man, and maybe God sees it as I would not be considered a good gift to ANYONE because of that, so I am destined to be alone forever, and I need to be content with that.

Is this Biblically accurate?

I want to know, so that I can stop caring and obsess about other things I want to do.

Yes they can. Of course they committed fornication which is a sin, but serious sins can be forgiven and put behind us 1 Cor 6:11

 

[Hidden In Him]

Is this Biblically accurate?

Not in the slightest, LoL.

That sort of thing doesn't effect God, it only effects ourselves. We taint ourselves a little when we enter into sexual relationships before finding the right person we're supposed to be with. Sex should be reserved only for that special one, and the hurts that come along with being in a failed intimate relationship can carry over into the next one. But that just requires some psychological healing is all.

If I were you I'd tell myself to stop concentrating on my fears. God hasn't given us a Spirit of fear, but One of power, love and a sound mind.

 

[Truman]

I drank too much coffee so I've spent hours thinking about this. It's also 4:40 AM now, so if I don't make sense, please forgive me.

I've been praying for God to help me get married for years and now I've come to the conclusion that he hasn't answered because it's a no. Now after obsessing about it for hours, I believe the reason is I am not a virgin.

1. Anyone before marriage is considered adultery, and even though after I made mistakes, I waited and I was patient for a REALLY LONG TIME, those mistakes still happened to begin with and I can't do anything about it now.

2. The woman is the helper, she was God's gift to the man, and maybe God sees it as I would not be considered a good gift to ANYONE because of that, so I am destined to be alone forever, and I need to be content with that.

Is this Biblically accurate?

I want to know, so that I can stop caring and obsess about other things I want to do.

I am sure that when you and he are ready, the Lord will bring you two together, in His time.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will grant you the desires of your heart.
When I drink too much coffee, I also tend to fret! I do like coffee, though!

 

[Wrangler]

That is not a reason and God forgives, I am sure you have repented and are forgiven.

My thoughts exactly.

Today in America, most people are not virgins when they get married. My advice to @FluffyYellowDuck is patience, keep growing in Christ and strive to become the woman worthy of the man you want to be with.

A coworker who is 61 yo, asked me recently how long one has to not have sex to be a virgin again. She had 2 significant relationships, the last one ending 14 years ago. She has 2 children, 38 and 26. Both men suddenly decided it was over.

I introduced her to a friend the other day who is a Christ follower. I hope things bloom between them.

Hope this helps.

 

[Taken]

I drank too much coffee so I've spent hours thinking about this. It's also 4:40 AM now, so if I don't make sense, please forgive me.

I've been praying for God to help me get married for years and now I've come to the conclusion that he hasn't answered because it's a no. Now after obsessing about it for hours, I believe the reason is I am not a virgin.

1. Anyone before marriage is considered adultery, and even though after I made mistakes, I waited and I was patient for a REALLY LONG TIME, those mistakes still happened to begin with and I can't do anything about it now.

2. The woman is the helper, she was God's gift to the man, and maybe God sees it as I would not be considered a good gift to ANYONE because of that, so I am destined to be alone forever, and I need to be content with that.

Is this Biblically accurate?

I want to know, so that I can stop caring and obsess about other things I want to do.

Marriage between a man and a woman, is an earthly flesh union.
It's intended for Earthly people to practice, for a Bigger Picture...ie an eternal Union between one person and God.

So think about it...
Does God Himself EVER "yoke Himself" with persons WHO HAVE "been yoked with other gods" ? The Answer is YES.

On Earth, in your flesh, the preference IS to be a virgin before and when marrying, but it is not forbidden for one to marry if they are not a virgin.
People marry widows and widowers, who are themselves NOT virgins.

God requires HIS "yoking"...marriage so to speak...WITH a VIRGIN...which IS partically WHY, An earthly mans BODY becomes SPIRITUALLY DEAD...BEFORE becoming "YOKED" with God.

Don't be critical of yourself...
God instructed "gatherings"... who ya going to believe? God or Governments?

Mate Hunting...can lead to desperation and ill choices.

Making yourself involved in gatherings, where "types" of potiental "mates" you are interesting in, are also gathered, IMO, leads to greater possibilities of new friends and potential closer relationships.
Remember, bit by bit, and choosing is according to TWO in Agreement.

God Bless,
Taken

 

[Lambano]

I drank too much coffee so I've spent hours thinking about this. It's also 4:40 AM now, so if I don't make sense, please forgive me.

I've been praying for God to help me get married for years and now I've come to the conclusion that he hasn't answered because it's a no. Now after obsessing about it for hours, I believe the reason is I am not a virgin.

1. Anyone before marriage is considered adultery, and even though after I made mistakes, I waited and I was patient for a REALLY LONG TIME, those mistakes still happened to begin with and I can't do anything about it now.

2. The woman is the helper, she was God's gift to the man, and maybe God sees it as I would not be considered a good gift to ANYONE because of that, so I am destined to be alone forever, and I need to be content with that.

Is this Biblically accurate?

I want to know, so that I can stop caring and obsess about other things I want to do.

Fluffy, there’s a dumpster in the alley behind Ziggy’s cafe. Could you take that “God may think I might not make a good gift to a man” stuff and drop it in that dumpster, please? You’re a child of God, your sins were taken care of on the Cross, you are forgiven, and you are loved. And that is biblical.

BTW, my wonderful wife of 37 years had 2 kids when we got married. I’m pretty sure she was not a virgin, and it didn’t matter.

 

[DuckieLady]

Fluffy, there’s a dumpster in the alley behind Ziggy’s cafe. Could you take that “God may think I might not make a good gift to a man” stuff and drop it in that dumpster, please? You’re a child of God, your sins were taken care of on the Cross, you are forgiven, and you are loved. And that is biblical.

BTW, my wonderful wife of 37 years had 2 kids when we got married. I’m pretty sure she was not a virgin, and it didn’t matter.

Aw, thanks guys.

Okay, off to ziggys dumpster I'll go lol

 

[rockytopva]

David was referred to as a man after God’s own heart…

But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the Lord hath sought him a man after his own heart… - 1 Samuel 13:14

And then when David was building his kingdom he saw a very beautiful woman…

It came to pass, after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the children of Ammon, and besieged Rabbah. But David tarried still at Jerusalem. And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king's house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? ... - 2 Samuel 11 1-3

So… David sends Uriah out to battle with his own death sentence in hand…

And it came to pass in the morning, that David wrote a letter to Joab, and sent it by the hand of Uriah. And he wrote in the letter, saying, Set ye Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten, and die. - 2 Samuel 11:14-15

But…

And when the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband. And when the mourning was past, David sent and fetched her to his house, and she became his wife, and bare him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord. - 2 Samuel 11:26-27

David goes on to find forgiveness and…

David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the Lord loved him. - 2 Samuel 12:24

As far as iniquity David says..

If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared. - Psalm 130:3-4

Non-virgins, then, can marry. There may have been sins committed in the past but God has the ability to forgive sins

 

[Triumph1300]

God forgives sins.
Christ went to the cross for all of that.
You are a born again Christian! Washed in the blood.
Things are new, you are a new person.
Don't let satan put a guilt trip on you.

 

[Brakelite]

Can non-virgins marry?
Yes. I did.

 

[quietthinker]

I drank too much coffee so I've spent hours thinking about this. It's also 4:40 AM now, so if I don't make sense, please forgive me.

I've been praying for God to help me get married for years and now I've come to the conclusion that he hasn't answered because it's a no. Now after obsessing about it for hours, I believe the reason is I am not a virgin.

1. Anyone before marriage is considered adultery, and even though after I made mistakes, I waited and I was patient for a REALLY LONG TIME, those mistakes still happened to begin with and I can't do anything about it now.

2. The woman is the helper, she was God's gift to the man, and maybe God sees it as I would not be considered a good gift to ANYONE because of that, so I am destined to be alone forever, and I need to be content with that.

Is this Biblically accurate?

I want to know, so that I can stop caring and obsess about other things I want to do.

ohhh fluffy, you can be certain any accusing thoughts are either your own or Satans, they are not God's.
Finding a suitable mate in these times is no easy task for anyone but don't give up hope.
Here's a suggestion...know what it is you're looking for and become it.....then you'll recognise someone suitable.

 

[Ronald David Bruno]

I've been praying for God to help me get married for years and now I've come to the conclusion that he hasn't answered because it's a no. Now after obsessing about it for hours, I believe the reason is I am not a virgin

No, you have been forgiven yours sins. Your spirit is pure. If you were to die today, Jesus would present you to the FATHER spotless, white as snow. It is our flesh wherein sin dwells. He is not punishing you or delaying such a marriage/ mate. Your desires may not be what is best for you at this time.
What if we are actually in the Great Tribulation Period? Would marriage be a good idea and having babies?
There is no marriage in heaven. We will all be single - might as well get used to it because heaven may come sooner than you think.
If not, do as the Bible tells you, seek God first, focus on Jesus and things above, love others and His plan for your life will be fulfilled which may include a mate. ??? Be anxious for nothing.

 

[michaelvpardo]

Don't let loneliness make your choices for you. I made that mistake and it cost me dearly. Seek friendship in Christian fellowship and the Lord will provide for your need. Be careful to remember Paul's warning and avoid seeking a partner outside the faith. That rarely works out well. Don't be blinded by romance and don't imagine that you can change someone's faults. Only God can change the heart.
God bless you and comfort you in His love. Amen.

 

[Rita]

Don't let loneliness make your choices for you. I made that mistake and it cost me dearly. Seek friendship in Christian fellowship and the Lord will provide for your need. Be careful to remember Paul's warning and avoid seeking a partner outside the faith. That rarely works out well. Don't be blinded by romance and don't imagine that you can change someone's faults. Only God can change the heart.
God bless you and comfort you in His love. Amen.

I came to faith three years into my marriage, he never came to faith and we were never ‘ whole ‘ as a couple.
It’s definitely an uphill struggle to be yoked with a non believer, and for him being yoked to a believer. ……..
Due to other reasons we eventually divorced after 27 years. Must say though , the Lord used all of those years in positive ways in the end. Roman 8:28

 

[michaelvpardo]

I came to faith three years into my marriage, he never came to faith and we were never ‘ whole ‘ as a couple.
It’s definitely an uphill struggle to be yoked with a non believer, and for him being yoked to a believer. ……..
Due to other reasons we eventually divorced after 27 years. Must say though , the Lord used all of those years in positive ways in the end. Roman 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose Roman's 8:28