Forgiving Ourselves ?

[L.A.M.B.]

I would like to explore this occurrence and receive feedback of any scriptures, thoughts or emotions, if this is something you have found HARD to do.

The word FORGIVE is NOT really found a lot in the WOG, or not that I could find, the act thereof many , many times.

It is one of the GREATEST actions we can receive from God and for and from others.

1 Jn.3:18-21
My little children, LET US NOT LOVE IN WORD, neither in tongue; BUT IN DEED and in truth.
And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.
FOR IF OUR HEART CONDEMN US, GOD IS GREATER than our heart, and KNOWETH ALL THINGS.
Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.

Forgive= to STOP feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
Emotions= a NATURAL instinctive STATE OF MIND deriving from ones circumstances, mood or relationships with others.

 

[Pearl]

It is sometimes harder to forgive ourselves than it is to forgive others. But I think forgiveness is an act of love and we are told to love our enemies and pray for them. A few years ago I heard somebody speak about forgiveness and thought it was very good and have always remember it and used it whenever I needed to forgive. being able to forgive is vital to our spiritual health. For some it is difficult but we all need to learn how to let go of resentment because it is a killer.

 

[Pearl]

I think that forgiveness is a form of love, but the bible tells us that if we seek forgiveness from God then we must forgive others; if you want God to be merciful to you; you must be merciful to others.

I heard a preacher speak on the subject and this is the jist of what he said:

1 – Say it. To forgive you must first of all say it, even if you say it with gritted teeth and you don’t mean it.

2 – Mean it. Then you must ask God to give you the grace to mean it. It may take a long time but be committed to it and keep repeating it until you really do mean it.

3 – Feel it. After a while you will begin to feel it , impossible as that may sound.

4 – Forget it. And in time, with God’s help, you will be able to forget it and be free.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the guilty are not guilty.

Say it on a daily basis – “I forgive him, I forgive him, I forgive him” – until you actually want it to happen. And in order to forgive first of all we need to pray about it and receive God’s grace..

Say it until you mean it. The pain of the hurts may get worse as the memories open up again, so be prepared for this to happen. But in time you will begin to feel the forgiveness in your heart.

Forgiving is good for us and we will start to feel better and will no longer be a victim but a victor.

To experience God’s forgiveness we must first forgive others. When we live in the benefit of God’s forgiveness good things happen to us and we begin to feel free. We start to live in the future instead of the past and we get our futures back.

 

[Windmillcharge]

I would like to explore this occurrence and receive feedback of any scriptures, thoughts or emotions, if this is something you have found HARD to do.

The word FORGIVE is NOT really found a lot in the WOG, or not that I could find, the act thereof many , many times.

It is one of the GREATEST actions we can receive from God and for and from others.

1 Jn.3:18-21
My little children, LET US NOT LOVE IN WORD, neither in tongue; BUT IN DEED and in truth.
And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.
FOR IF OUR HEART CONDEMN US, GOD IS GREATER than our heart, and KNOWETH ALL THINGS.
Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.

Forgive= to STOP feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
Emotions= a NATURAL instinctive STATE OF MIND deriving from ones circumstances, mood or relationships with others.

Offencive words for blacks are not suitable in a Christian discussion ( wog = abusive term for a coloured or black person )

One can only forgive oneself if one first accepts that God has already forgiven and forgotten our sins.

As for forgiveness of others, that like Gods forgiveness of us is conditional on repentance.
Where there is no repentance then like Jesus on the cross, one hands the situation, the persons and ones feelings over to God for him to deal with them.
Then one prays inteligently for those who have offended .

 

[Pearl]

Offencive words for blacks are not suitable in a Christian discussion ( wog = abusive term for a coloured or black person )

Goodness! that is a bit off. There was absolutely no abusive term used in that post. It's just in your mind.

 

[Windmillcharge]

Goodness! that is a bit off. There was absolutely no abusive term used in that post. It's just in you mind.

google it.

 

[Pearl]

google it.

Your own comment was totally inappropriate.

What did you actually think it meant?

 

[Nancy]

I think that forgiveness is a form of love, but the bible tells us that if we seek forgiveness from God then we must forgive others; if you want God to be merciful to you; you must be merciful to others.

I heard a preacher speak on the subject and this is the jist of what he said:

1 – Say it. To forgive you must first of all say it, even if you say it with gritted teeth and you don’t mean it.

2 – Mean it. Then you must ask God to give you the grace to mean it. It may take a long time but be committed to it and keep repeating it until you really do mean it.

3 – Feel it. After a while you will begin to feel it , impossible as that may sound.

4 – Forget it. And in time, with God’s help, you will be able to forget it and be free.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the guilty are not guilty.

Say it on a daily basis – “I forgive him, I forgive him, I forgive him” – until you actually want it to happen. And in order to forgive first of all we need to pray about it and receive God’s grace..

Say it until you mean it. The pain of the hurts may get worse as the memories open up again, so be prepared for this to happen. But in time you will begin to feel the forgiveness in your heart.

Forgiving is good for us and we will start to feel better and will no longer be a victim but a victor.

To experience God’s forgiveness we must first forgive others. When we live in the benefit of God’s forgiveness good things happen to us and we begin to feel free. We start to live in the future instead of the past and we get our futures back.

Spot on @Pearl
And yes, it can be difficult...it's a process, for sure.

@L3astAm0ngManyB13ss3d - welcome to CB!

 

[L.A.M.B.]

I absolutely agree with you Pearl, we MUST forgive others, it is part of our maturing in him.

What I am looking for is this, FORGIVING OURSELVES. I find that even though it is hard to forgive others,forgiving myself is the HARDEST BATTLE I have ever fought in my faith.

Actions and words are usually over quickly with others, if we commit no harm. Communication with our brethren will clean the heart of hurt and bitterness outward to others.

It is that inward flaw or mistake even hurt that I'm seeking to eradicate from my life, in forgiving those in myself.

I'll tell you something, growing up in a very, very dysfunctional family, where there were rotten abuses, I recently committed myself to the hospital.

A ROUGH journey began in my old age which has stemmed from all the garbage of others I took in as my burden, then packed them down. I kept this behaviour ALL my life, instead of reasoning it out and unloading the blame where it went.

In this process, I've discovered things that no longer can be made right with others bc of death. I'm stuck with trying to forgive myself of this actions, words and thoughts on my own.

It is sad to live like this, to pk down stuff bc of what expectations others and ourselves have of us ! Sadder still is in ALL my yrs of loving God, I have NOT heard this addressed. Oh sure ppl pattingly say " JUST FORGIVE YOURSELF" ; fake words with zero answer.

 

[L.A.M.B.]

Offencive words for blacks are not suitable in a Christian discussion ( wog = abusive term for a coloured or black person )

One can only forgive oneself if one first accepts that God has already forgiven and

As for forgiveness of others, that like Gods forgiveness of us is conditional on repentance.
Where there is no repentance then like Jesus on the cross, one hands the situation, the persons and ones feelings over to God for him to deal with them.
Then one prays inteligently for those who have offended .

Please forgive me !
If you had read the content of what I was saying instead of jumping on one of your word triggers you would have seen WOG means word of God and is in caps.

I would never be offensive to my own knowledge. Ppl are ppl in my world without bias and predijuice. Thank you for the info.

 

[Pearl]

I absolutely agree with you Pearl, we MUST forgive others, it is part of our maturing in him.

What I am looking for is this, FORGIVING OURSELVES. I find that even though it is hard to forgive others,forgiving myself is the HARDEST BATTLE I have ever fought in my faith.

Actions and words are usually over quickly with others, if we commit no harm. Communication with our brethren will clean the heart of hurt and bitterness outward to others.

It is that inward flaw or mistake even hurt that I'm seeking to eradicate from my life, in forgiving those in myself.

I'll tell you something, growing up in a very, very dysfunctional family, where there were rotten abuses, I recently committed myself to the hospital.

A ROUGH journey began in my old age which has stemmed from all the garbage of others I took in as my burden, then packed them down. I kept this behaviour ALL my life, instead of reasoning it out and unloading the blame where it went.

In this process, I've discovered things that no longer can be made right with others bc of death. I'm stuck with trying to forgive myself of this actions, words and thoughts on my own.

It is sad to live like this, to pk down stuff bc of what expectations others and ourselves have of us ! Sadder still is in ALL my yrs of loving God, I have NOT heard this addressed. Oh sure ppl pattingly say " JUST FORGIVE YOURSELF" ; fake words with zero answer.

Sorry LAMB, I didn't mean to de-rail your thread. I agree that it is often harder to forgive ourselves. Even now in my old age I remember things that have happened in the past - things I have done which I wish I hadn't. I think when we find ourselves thinking like that we must give it to God and ask him to help us the forgiving. It's really the only way. I used to get myself bogged down with stuff until I learned to take it all to God in prayer. What a friend we have in Jesus!!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

 

[marks]

I'm stuck with trying to forgive myself of this actions, words and thoughts on my own.

It is sad to live like this, to pk down stuff bc of what expectations others and ourselves have of us ! Sadder still is in ALL my yrs of loving God, I have NOT heard this addressed. Oh sure ppl pattingly say " JUST FORGIVE YOURSELF" ; fake words with zero answer.

These are some of the passages which have helped me.

Isaiah 66:1-2 KJV
1) Thus saith the LORD, The heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool: where is the house that ye build unto me? and where is the place of my rest?
2) For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.

Isaiah 57:15 KJV
15) For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

Isaiah 44:20-22 KJV
20) He feedeth on ashes: a deceived heart hath turned him aside, that he cannot deliver his soul, nor say, Is there not a lie in my right hand?
21) Remember these, O Jacob and Israel; for thou art my servant: I have formed thee; thou art my servant: O Israel, thou shalt not be forgotten of me.
22) I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee.

Return unto me, for I have redeemed thee.

We hate things we've done but we cannot change them. All that remains is to repudiate them, and cleave to Christ.

Much love!

 

[marks]

We hate things we've done but we cannot change them.

I find I don't stop hating things I've done. I realize that the corruption of sin is powerful, and sin is horrible, and guilt is deadly. I have to release these into the past, and not think that they define who I really am - in Christ. Things like these are what Jesus is saving me from.

Much love!

 

[Behold]

God forgives you, and so should you.
God does not remember your sin, as its in the past, and you are not in the Past, and neither is God.
Today is the day that God has made, and you are to rejoice in it, knowing that His love for you is not based on your behavior, its based on The Cross of Christ and the FACT, that God IS LOVE.

The word says that "God first loved us", and that was before we were saved.
Think about that..
God's love is unconditional.. We dont earn it, we just breath it in, and rejoice that we have it.
Think of God's love as a big hug, a big warm hug, that never goes away, no matter how you feel, or how you behave.
God never ever leaves you, and neither does His LOVE.

 

[L.A.M.B.]

Sorry LAMB, I didn't mean to de-rail your thread. I agree that it is often harder to forgive ourselves. Even now in my old age I remember things that have happened in the past - things I have done which I wish I hadn't. I think when we find ourselves thinking like that we must give it to God and ask him to help us the forgiving. It's really the only way. I used to get myself bogged down with stuff until I learned to take it all to God in prayer. What a friend we have in Jesus!!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Thank you,Pearl.
Yes I'm finding being aged brings up things a busy life skipped over. I would that there were a punishment or chaistisement or better yet a sacrifice that could be offered to relieve this.

No worries both are very good to discuss.

 

[L.A.M.B.]

I find I don't stop hating things I've done. I realize that the corruption of sin is powerful, and sin is horrible, and guilt is deadly. I have to release these into the past, and not think that they define who I really am - in Christ. Things like these are what Jesus is saving me from.

Much love!

I agree.
Were that it be written how to overcome these feelings. I've never had a pitiful me attitude bc of. It has been an inward battle. I'm thankful God DOES KNOW ALL.

Thank you for your input.

 

[farouk]

Thank you,Pearl.
Yes I'm finding being aged brings up things a busy life skipped over. I would that there were a punishment or chaistisement or better yet a sacrifice that could be offered to relieve this.

No worries both are very good to discuss.

@L3astAm0ngManyB13ss3d Paul could say in Philippians 4.11: "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, [therewith] to be content."

Sometimes the learning in view can take a long road of personal experience and testimony.

 

[L.A.M.B.]

God forgives you, and so should you.
God does not remember your sin, as its in the past, and you are not in the Past, and neither is God.
Today is the day that God has made, and you are to rejoice in it, knowing that His love for you is not based on your behavior, its based on The Cross of Christ and the FACT, that God IS LOVE.

The word says that "God first loved us", and that was before we were saved.
Think about that..
God's love is unconditional.. We dont earn it, we just breath it in, and rejoice that we have it.
Think of God's love as a big hug, a big warm hug, that never goes away, no matter how you feel, or how you behave.
God never ever leaves you, and neither does His LOVE.

Thank you.
Yes I agree, that might be what I need to do. I would really like an understanding of why we hold on to things from the past. GUILT, but is this guilt of ourselves for self abasement or from the evil for torment.

I do know that God no longer remembers my past nor my sins. It would be awesome that in the new birth, we truly were as infants from the womb, clean ,spotless !

I know too that a renewing of the mind is a necessary function of the Spirit and establishes our walk in firm good soil.

 

[L.A.M.B.]

Spot on @Pearl
And yes, it can be difficult...it's a process, for sure.

@L3astAm0ngManyB13ss3d - welcome to CB!

Thank you,Nancy been here a cpl months , I think....lol

 

[farouk]

Thank you,Nancy been here a cpl months , I think....lol

@L3astAm0ngManyB13ss3d Good to see you......