How to forgive?

[arunangelo]

[SIZE=12pt]If we truly are Jesus’ followers we can do it like he did. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Though we betrayed him and were unfaithful to him, He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds we have been healed (1Peter 2:24).[/SIZE]

 

[stefen]

Its very very difficult to forgive as Jesus christ did. But practice by the help of Holy Spirit will get that forgiveness. We can see that Stephen have forgiven as like Jesus.

If God's Love is planted and grown in our hearts, then the fruit of forgiveness come from us. Once we forgive others and never ever think / remember about that.

Thanks

 

[KCKID]

Needless to say, humans are complex beings and forgiveness is more difficult for some people than for others. I was institutionalized at the age of 6 until the age of 12. My father was a violent man and the only childhood memories that I had of him was his beating up my mother on a regular basis. He doesn't have a face in my memory banks ...he's just a vicious blur. Anyway, as said, the domestic violence occurred so often that Childrens Services were called by the neighbors and I, my older sister and older brother were taken away and became wards of the state.

I never again saw my father. My mother, however, kept in regular contact with visitations and, every few weeks, she would take me out on weekends. When her living situation had changed some 6 years later she was allowed to take me out of the orphanage permanently. While I didn't exactly hate my father I had not one shred of love or affection for him. He just didn't exist as far as I was concerned.

Then, shortly after my 45th birthday, I was visiting with my sister who lives a couple of thousand kilometers from where I reside (I in Queensland, she in New South Wales) and she mentioned having received a call from 'dad' who was living on the other side of the world ...we in Australia, he in England. She didn't really know why he'd decided to call 'out of the blue' and she pretty well brushed him off as quickly and as politely as she could. For the first time ever I had the phone number and the mailing address of this man, my father, who had been responsible for my missing out on a normal childhood and, yes, suffering some of the 'typical' abuse that goes on in these institutions.

So, over a period of days I began to write down my thoughts and my memories from long ago, remembering my cringing in fear when he would come home drunk, his beating up my mother and leaving her unconscious on the floor, the time my mom, sister and I hid in the cupboard of a neighbor while dad was on the warpath looking for us, the final time being when he beat mom so badly that she was taken away by ambulance to the hospital, we kids being rounded up by the police and becoming wards of the state. I wrote all of this down in a letter to send to my father. To rub his nose in his rotten deeds and to damn him for what he'd put mom, me and my siblings through? No. I wrote down all the things that a 6 year-old could remember from 40 years before just so that he would know WHAT I was forgiving him for. Yep, I felt the need to let go of the past and forgive him. I sent the letter and, a couple of weeks later I received a 20-page response from my father. His first words were: "Thank you SO much for making me feel like a human being again."

I probably wrote one more letter after that and it wasn't too many months later that I heard that he'd died. I don't tell this story to 'big note' myself. I'm not interested in that kind of thing. I tell it only to let people know that holding on to bitterness is unhealthy. There comes a time when we all need to let go and forgive. Lord knows, I'd love to have the forgiveness of another person who I wronged some time ago. I still live in hopes that that might happen.

 

[Foreigner]

I have been left in awe more than once by the life of Corrie ten Boom.

She has been an inspiration as to not just the necessity, but the difficulties and rewards associated with forgiveness.

She was confronted with her own difficulty in forgiveness when, after speaking at an event she was approached by a man who had been a guard at the concentration camp she and her sister had been imprisoned in (her sister had died).

She details how the man came forward thanking her for her message on forgiveness, and she found him rather flippant on how God forgives considering the evil this man had done to the inmates he oversaw.

She found that she did not have forgiveness in her heart for this man and almost refused to take his hand when he asked forgiveness.

But when she forced herself to take his hand and voice her forgiveness, she was greated with supernatural peace and release.

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”
― Corrie ten Boom


There are people in the past who have hurt me deeply with their intentional betrayals. I was left crushed and angry.
I would share with others the things they did to me, bitterness dripping off my lips and always found a sympathetic ear letting me know my feelings of being aggrieved were more than justified.
But then I was told that the only way I would EVER get over this would be if I prayed for them.
Not for them to learn the error of their ways and realize how much they have hurt me an others.
Rather, I was told to pray for their prosperity, happiness, and well-being.
I resisted for a very long time and to this day I can remember the first attempts to sincerly do this.
I literally choked on the words and found myself getting even angrier.
Praying for God to bless them and prosper them and bring them joy and happiness was more than difficult.
But over time I felt my heart changing towards them. While I may not count them among my friends today, I wish them no ill and have no residual anger.
I was set free.


I am paraphrasing someone else: "Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

 

[aspen]

hey KC - thanks for sharing your story. It really affected me. I agree that bitterness is deadly for our spirit. I believe that we are called to love our way through the hardships of this life - sometimes we suceed with Christ's help; other times we fail. It is good for my whole being to hear about your victory against such a difficult situation

 

[KCKID]

hey KC - thanks for sharing your story. It really affected me. I agree that bitterness is deadly for our spirit. I believe that we are called to love our way through the hardships of this life - sometimes we suceed with Christ's help; other times we fail. It is good for my whole being to hear about your victory against such a difficult situation

Hi aspen ...I just now noticed your post. Actually, in all honesty it wasn't anything to do with any 'Christian belief' as to why I chose to forgive my father. I've always had a forgiving nature even though I seem to be the only one in the family that does. This doesn't mean that I don't harbor a certain amount of anger/bitterness for a time before I do decide to forgive. Anyway, thanks for the thumbs up . . .